What Is A Friend?

I'm feeling very sad today as I sit and contemplate the status of my friendships. Who are my friends? What does friendship mean? I do not get these 'blue' periods very often but when I do usually dwell on them and let them fester. Today I choose a different route and try to exorcise these demons.

It begins with a simple 'social networking' site, Facebook. On it you try to find 'friends'. It seems to be a bit of a competition to have the most 'friends' and there are people with hundreds, even thousands of 'friends'. I find this hard to believe, under my definitions of friendship, and I doubt that many of them are even more than passing acquaintances. But I have found the site to be quite interesting in connecting me to people I haven't thought about in years.

Now I don't believe that a friend, even a truly great friend, is someone you have to talk to even frequently. In fact, I have one friend, a dear and close friend, that I only speak to perhaps a couple of times a year. But I know that if I called her tomorrow because, say, I needed help burying a body, she would be there in no time, shovel in hand. I don't think that a great friend even has to be someone you've had a long, close acquaintance with. Two very good friends, who I mention here frequently, I 'met' over the Internet only about eighteen months ago. But they have become my greatest cheerleaders and supporters and I hope that we will always maintain that friendship even though one I have never seen in person.

When I quit work a little over a year ago, I expected certain people to still be a profound presence in my life. I was, however, realistic in that I know people will forget me (out of sight out of mind, so to speak) but there were a few that I thought would truly be solidly a part of my life. It hurts me greatly that even though I send emails and repeated requests to get together, I have been pretty much forgotten and largely ignored. It is easy to move on for others it seems and while I hoped that I at least was different, it seems that I am not.

I have a friend that I was so close too that it seemed we shared a brain. He too is distant, never responding when I ask to get together, never answering my emails with much more than terse answers and minimum verbiage. Does this treatment now negate the years of joy and shared experiences? No, of course not, but still it saddens me. I miss the connection that we once had.

Being the kind of person who always assumes that the blame for such things rests squarely on her shoulders, I feel this burden and doubt most acutely. But perhaps it is just that life brings you the people that you need into your life when you need them and that it doesn't have to be forever. Perhaps friendships have expiration dates, like canned goods that are best consumed by a certain date. As we evolve as people, perhaps the friends in our lives, following their own evolution, move on as well. Our bonds may not be meant to be permanent. It does not lesson the depth of feeling we once felt nor the contribution that these friendships have brought to our lives. But I still envy those people who seem to still be friends with people they have known since infancy.

So what started this bought of self-indulgent melancholia? Someone I considered to be a good friend 'turning down' my friend request on Facebook. How's that for pathos? A place where some of my 'friends' are people I haven't seen in twenty years and wasn't particularly close to even then. Where games of "Mafia Wars", "poking" people and taking quizzes that mostly amount to a steaming pile of meaningless drivel is supposed to equal actual social interaction. And I take this personally? Well of course I do, that's who I am, I take everything personally.

So while this seems silly to many of you Loyal Readers, I'm sure, to me it is why I am a writer and why I choose comedy and romance as my genres of choice. Because like the character in the novel who ties her every bit of correspondence with a satin ribbon which grows tattered over the years because she takes them out an re-reads every line, I have cherished the friends I have made and what they brought into my life. And I mourn when they are no more. Only it's definitely not as poetic when that old woman unties the tattered ribbon from her iPhone and bemoans the low friend count on Facebook.

Last Day of Principal Photography

So today is the last day of principal photography for "You People". And I'm happy and sad. It has been a lot of hard work and I didn't even have it the hardest. But with juggling who would watch The Graminator and starting a new business, it was a bit hectic. But I'm sad because it was a lot of fun.

Film sets, like many a theatrical production, create a lot of camaraderie. There are inside jokes and shared experiences and you become close to people very quickly. I understand why so many actors 'fall in love' on movie sets. You are around someone ten to twelve hours a day, you bond. (For the record, I did not fall for any of my co-stars. But I do love them all dearly.) And on an independent film, everyone pitches in to help wherever they can. It's a very "Andy Hardy, let's put on a show" kind of feeling and I always feel sad when it's over.

Not to say it's always roses and sunshine. There is a lot of waiting on a film set, while lights are adjusted and camera angles are changed. It's hot (especially in the Vegas summer and your character is wearing a Christmas sweater in every scene.) All that closeness and familiarity can cause tempers to be shortened. But for the most part, it's a fun collaborative effort and this one made even more fun because most of us were good friends going in and those that were new to our 'family' soon became our bosom buddies too.

So thank you to the cast and crew of "You People". Making a movie with all my friends was a BLAST! I can't list everyone here but here's a partial list. I love you....Kelly, Charisma, Mark, Jon, Max, Erica, Denise, John, Will, Elly, Nathan, JP, Henry, Jimmy, Lou, Holly, Lincoln, all of the extras who gave their time and anyone I left off the list (just because I didn't have any scenes with you doesn't mean I don't love you!)

Today, the last scene on the last day of principal photography is my character getting hit in the head with a kitchen sink...do you think there is some kind of significance? Viva la Tango Box!

Goodbye Sweet Ed

So Ed McMahon has passed away. I'm sad, because he was one of the greatest 'sidekicks' in television history, and because he once said some very nice things about me.

It was in 2000 and I had just quit my job at a Las Vegas hotel. It was a truly toxic environment that ate my self esteem to the point that I didn't even like the person I had become. I came home from work each day in tears. I had never quit a job without having another job lined up but one day it reached a breaking point and I quit. No notice, nothing, just walked out.

It felt great to quit, but then I had to go back and get my stuff, which involved human resources and security and all sorts of humiliating stuff. I was to go back at four o'clock one day. I felt awful because even though I had gotten out from under the thumb of my EVIL boss, I still had to face her when I went to collect my things.

Earlier in the day I was reading the local paper (yes, children, once people read newspapers) and a local variety columnist mentioned that Ed McMahon was going to be in town to look for comics to be on his new talent show "Next Big Star" (he was trying to get some of that "Star Search" stuff going again.) It was at The Improv at two o'clock in the afternoon. Since it was pretty close to the hotel I had worked in, I decided to stop by and check it out before my appointment. The deadline for entry had passed but I figured I could find out what was going on for future reference.

When I got to the club the audience was sparse (which is to be expected for an afternoon barely advertised talent showcase) and I took a seat in the back to watch. There were only a few comics and they were, well, awful, for the most part. It seemed like the show was going to be over practically before it started. I decided to approach someone who looked 'in charge" and ask them if I could go onstage. He said sure and gave me a release form. He told me I would go up after the next comic.

I was getting ready to go on when in walked Ed McMahon and Bud Friedman, owner of the Improv, followed by a television crew. Ed said a few words to the audience and then it was my turn to go on. I did my 'standard' routine, keeping it to the five minute time limit, so it was a nice tight set packed with laughs. When I was done Ed came back to the stage and shook my hand. As I left the stage the television crew producer asked me if they could interview me. I said okay but while we were talking I heard Ed McMahon telling the audience how talented he thought I was and that he had seem a lot of comics in his time and he thought I would go far. I turned to the TV crew and said "Did you hear that? Ed McMahon thinks I'm talented!' it was a really wonderful (and surreal) moment.

When I arrived (late) to pick up my things from my former job, I was on cloud nine. Even facing down the evil dragon who had tried to destroy my soul didn't faze me. I picked up my things with the biggest smile on my face and walked out with my pride, dignity and even a bit of "watch me" attitude.

A week or so later I was in my apartment with the television on. I was in another room when I heard my voice coming from the TV. I was so confused. I ran to the living room to see myself on national television (okay, it was a syndicated show but still, it was on all across the country) performing and then being interviewed. It turned out that the television crew was from an entertainment show and so my little performance was being broadcast to the nation. It was amazing, and again, surreal.

Well, I didn't make it into the "Next Big Star: (it was in it's earliest incarnation at that point, which was web based and I didn't have a huge Internet following at that time) and I'm not sure I ever lived up to the potential that Ed McMahon saw in me that day. But I can say that at one of the lowest points in my life, Ed McMahon was there for me.

Anyone who ever performed knows that "The Tonight Show" is one of the biggest moments in any career. And to me, the epitome would have been during the Carson/McMahon era. It was, well, perfect. I never got that chance (Johnny Carson left "The Tonight Show" before I ever started doing comedy) even though I have a lovely rejection letter from the show. But I did get to meet one of my idols and he liked me. You can't ask for much more than that. Forever in my memory will be two pieces of Ed McMahon - him introducing Carson with his famous "Heeeeere's Johnny" and him saying he thought I'd go far in show business.

Thank you Ed. Rest in Peace.

Chugging Along

Opening a new business is an interesting concept. You have a concept, you work hard to get it ready, you try to promote it but you have really no idea how it's going to work out. Will people respond? Will that response be favorable? And how long will it take?

Internet business is a bit different from a 'brick and mortar' establishment. My overhead is obviously lower and since I bake on demand I don't have to keep stockpiles of inventory that will go bad. I have made great friends with the owner of the commercial kitchen I bake in and even though my plan was to bake once a week she's pretty flexible with when I come in. (In this economy we all help one another I guess). And opening on the Internet first was kind of a 'toe in the water' kind of move. I'd love to have a full shop with more room but I need to know I will have the business first before I make that kind of leap. I didn't know what to expect, it could've been months before I got my first order.

Well, you know I had orders before we even opened officially. And this week has been great. I've had orders for marshmallows. I've designed cookies for a graduation in New Jersey and some 'award' cookies for a company in Kentucky to send to a client in Florida (the Internet really does make it a small world!) So if things continue this way, I'll be doing pretty well. Of course, we could hit dry spells with no orders but I'm prepared for any and all eventualities - I think you have to be if you want to try entrepreneurship. So who knows what's coming next? Not me, but I'm sure whatever it is, it will be interesting.

So I reflect on 'plans'. When I graduated from high school my 'plan' was to go to college, then law school and be married with 2 kids and a picket fenced house. But circumstance got in the way of those plans and my life has taken different paths. And when I die, I won't regret not going to law school. Because my life has been full of twists and turns that I never could have planned but it's taken me down some really interesting roads.

When I took my sabbatical I 'planned' to write for a year and become a famous author. That will still happen (maybe not the famous part). But I certainly never 'planned" to open a bakery and make wedding favors. But like most of the coolest things in my life, it happened. And it's another interesting turn to take.

There is a scene in a movie called "Never Been Kissed" where a character asks a teen girl what she wants to be when she grows up. The girl has a list of things, like professor and painter and flautist, so many things you think "just pick something, you'll never be all of that!" I laughed when I saw that scene because like most 'grown-ups' I felt it was a flight of fancy all teens have, that they can do anything, be anything. But you can't. Or can you? I've been many things so far in my life and since family history suggests I could live to a ripe old age, I will be many more. So it might never have been in my 'plans' to be a writing, acting, film making baker, but that's what I am today. Gosh only knows what I'll be tomorrow!

Thanks for taking this journey with me Loyal Readers. Knowing I have you with me gives me courage when I am scared, spirit when I am low and comfort that I am not alone. You are the best!

And We're Off!

It's official, Glitter City Sweets is now open.

After months of planning, preparation and work, the site is up and running and taking orders. Yup, we have already received our first (and second) orders. But that doesn't mean I get to rest, no siree, today I am finishing up orders plus packing the thank you cookies for those Loyal readers who signed up for the Glitter City blog (to be delivered tomorrow) and working on some new "July only" specials. So stay tuned, because the story doesn't end here folks!

Thanks again for your support. My friends ROCK!

The Genesis

So it's only 3 days until the 'official' Grand Opening of Glitter City Sweets and I have been working non-stop to get all my products not just ready, but fabulous. I can't justify selling just mediocre stuff, it has to be outstanding. So what started off with just decorated cookies has expanded.

See, lots of people do decorated cookies. I think mine are cuter and have more detail and originality than a lot of my competitors. But i still have competition in that market so I felt like I needed a product or tow that was unique, different, completely mine (at least until someone copies me.) So I decided to do decorated lollipops and marshmallow favors as well.

Hard candy is pretty simple to make. Boil a sugar syrup until it reaches hard crack stage, add flavor and color and pour into molds. What makes my lollies unique is the mold. I make my own hard candy molds instead of using commercially made molds. I did this because I knew what I wanted and it needed to be special. So I made my own, a process that involves coming up with an idea, sketching it, sculpting a 3-D model then casting it into a food grade silicone mold. Since I'm not much of a sculptor, that was the step that took the most time. But in the end I think it's worth the trouble to have something that I can sell with pride.

Now I also decided to carry a marshmallow favor line, again because it was something no one else was doing. Of course the idea came from my love of all things marshmallow. Like Peeps®. I love them. Easter time is one of my favorites because I can get my Peeps® on. Sugar covered marshmallows, how can you go wrong? And I love just eating marshmallows. I prefer the handmade kind, like you buy for eight bucks at Whole Foods, but I can also eat the ones from the grocery store even if they aren't quite as good. So I wanted to make favors that were shaped and sugar coated like a Peep® and then I would decorate them. I decided that since I had to learn how to make marshmallow anyway, I would also sell gourmet marshmallows like the fancy stores, only mine would be a lot cheaper (and they are, mine retail for three dollars less than almost all the other 'gourmet marshmallows' and I give you more mallows.)

Now marshmallows seem as easy as hard candy when you get to the recipe. Sugar syrup beaten into gelatin, how hard could that be? Well, my first few batches were okay. They were very much like the jet puffed ones you buy at the store. A little chewy but they definitely were marshmallows. But I would never have sold them. They weren't exceptional. So I kept working. I made batch after batch, adjusting ingredients, adding more of this, less of that. And they were good, but I still wasn't happy. So I threw away pan after pan (since my mother pointed out that recipe development was just a cost of business and that I shouldn't eat all of the product - I think she didn't want my butt to get any bigger!) And I kept working. Now I can't give away my secret formulation but I can tell you that I had a 'eureka' moment which led to my marshmallow breakthrough. And now I can say, with pride, I have the best marshmallows I have ever eaten (and I have eaten many, many marshmallows my friend!) I would gladly put my marshmallows up against any ones, and I mean anyone. My marshmallows are light and pillowy soft. They practically melt in your mouth but they still have that delightful marshmallow chew. And my flavors? Out of this world. I like the lemon meringue the best but only by a teeny tiny bit (they taste like lemon clouds and I could literally eat pounds of them.) The peanut butter swirl taste like a fluffernutter sandwich. And the toasted coconut? Well, I don't even like coconut and these are phenomenally good.

So I knew my cookies were beyond fabulous. And my cakes and cupcakes, well, they are to quote more than one person, better than s-e-x. My lollipops are unique and delicious. And now I have the absolute best marshmallows around. So I'm ready. The site is ready. All I need are more customers. And so I need your help, Loyal Readers. Can you help me spread the word? Post my site on blogs, tell your friends, neighbors and co-workers. Stop random strangers on the street. Post me on social networking sites. Tweet me. And if they put "FNNYGRL" in the special instructions of the checkout page, I'll throw in a half order of the best marshmallows in the world for free. And for you who blog, tweet, Facebook, LinkedIn, whatever for Glitter City Sweets, well, you never know when a surprise will show up at your door!

Thank you, Loyal Readers, for following me on this amazing experience. You have helped me, pushed me, comforted me and encouraged me and I couldn't have done it without you. I am truly blessed.

Monday, Monday, Monday, the grand Opening of Glitter City Sweets. See you then!

Who Knew Trader Joe's Sold Cats?

I'm busy getting GCS ready for Monday but I had to share this photo with you. I was cleaning and the cat crawled into a bag I had on the floor. It made me laugh and I had to share with you. Enjoy.

Four days to the Grand Opening...counting down to sweetness!

Sunday, Bocce Sunday

It has been a busy few days for me. Filming, getting ready for the 'grand opening' and fulfilling my family obligations too. Whew.

Friday we filmed some of the pivotal scenes for the movie. It was only a half dozen scenes but one scene alone took almost four hours. It was a LONG day! Then on Saturday we shot a couple of party scenes. That was fun...it was an eclectic group of extras but that's what makes life interesting.

Sunday is family time. Since the weather has been so incredibly nice (in the mid-to-high eighties and a bit overcast) we decided to play bocce. We play bocce on the Wii fairly well but one day when we were out eating lunch we saw a bocce court (is that what you call it?) It's near to Sun City but it's in the parking lot of a shopping center (weird, huh?) Well, a few weeks ago I saw a bocce ball set at the craft store (who knew that's where to go for bocce balls?) and the set was on sale so I bought it for my mom, who had actually been looking up how to put a bocce court into our back yard. (She's trying to encourage her chubby children to exercise but since bocce is usually a sport for old Italian men, I guess she's easing us in gently.)

So after eating at El Burrito (please, do not tell me how good their chile rellenos are, I have heard the hype and I totally disagree - ditto on the soup - but the special taco is awesome and I had the huevos rancheros, which was delicious. But my brother and uncle think this is a Mexican food Mecca) we went down to the bocce court. Other than people going to the ATM at the bank right next to the court (see, it is a weird location isn't it?) we had the place to ourselves. And we played 18 games of bocce whil The Graminator napped in the shade.

Guess who kicked our bocce butts? My mom. Yup, she won 8 games, I won 5, Will won 4 and Val won one. Somehow my mom is a bocce savant. Maybe she was a little old Italian man in a past life or something. Or she has been sneaking up to the court to practice when we weren't looking. But we had fun, it was a lovely afternoon and we got a teeny, tiny bit of exercise (since the losers had to shag the balls back).

Only 6 days till the official opening of Glitter City Sweets. Are you ready?

I'm Here!

I swear it was never my intention to ignore you, my Loyal Readers. It's just that things are rolling ahead full steam for Glitter City Sweets and it has taken my (nearly) undivided attention.

We even made our first delivery this week. At a party Saturday night I took my friend Tina a dozen "Thank You" cookies since she took some pictures for the website and gave me the suggestion to make "Thank You" cookies in the first place. Apparently Dean and Deluca does a similar cookie - but mine are cuter and cost less than half the price of theirs! Well I ran into a friend of Tina's (everyone is Tina's friend, she collects friends in such an amazing way) who I hadn't seen in a while (apparently book club is a bi-annual event.) She asked me what I was up to and I showed her the cookies. Well, she ordered two dozen to be delivered on Monday to the MGM Grand. Thank goodness Sunday is my baking day at the commercial bakery I work out of! So I consider it a good omen that we made our first deliver before we are even open officially.

The site is in Beta testing right now (THANK YOU Maura and Dyann!) and while it's running and functional I still don't have all of the product pictures up. I'm sure I will be tweaking it forever. It's been an experience making the site. I used a WYSIWYG (pronounced wizzy-wig, it stands for "what you see is what you get") site builder and let me tell you, it's a lie. What you see is NOT what you get. For example, the borders on the pictures are the color "sienna" to match the website. And that's what I see on my Mac, whether I'm using Foxfire or Safari as my Internet browser. But on my PC laptop and my mom's computer it looks black. I don't know why. Plus when I space pictures just right on the sitebuilder, they go all cattywampus in "real life". With no rhyme or reason, pictures that are spaced equally apart are suddenly smushed together or a mile apart. I think the site is acceptable for now but when it begins to make money I'm going to hire a real web designer instead of this DIY junk. But since I could never get my cousin to call me back and I was broke, this was my best solution. Plus I can publish it myself and make changes all I want without calling anyone. (At least the publishing function is super easy!)

I'm thinking that the "press release" and official "Grand Opening" will be June 15th. And here is a super special deal just for you, my Loyal Readers. For every reader who signs up to follow my new blog, you get 6 free cookies. Just sign up for the new blog then send an email to me at shae@glittercitysweets.com saying "I signed up!" and I'll give you six "Thank You" cookies. Free delivery in Las Vegas and free shipping outside of Las Vegas. This offer is good for friends too so encourage them to follow my new blog. But this offer is only good until the Grand Opening so go sign up soon! And congratulations to Maura for being my first follower!

Here is a picture of the "Thank You" cookies to wet your appetite and some pictures of my first delivery.