Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Things I Have Been Thinking About Today

How 'artisanal' can the new ravioli at Olive Garden really be? It's a chain restaurant. I bet the ravioli isn't even handmade.

I really hope the murder-suicide of the Mesquite councilwoman and her husband wasn't really over a false $96.40 travel expense. I hope that people remember the couple for all the good they did instead of the tragic end.

Chipotle Bacon Brittle sounded like a science experiment gone wrong but it is, in reality, very good. So good that people are willing to pay sixteen bucks a pound for it. Which proves that bacon really does make anything better.

After watching the "State of the State" address on Monday and the "State of the Union" address on Tuesday, the "State of Shae" is depressed.

I bet the clerks at the grocery store worry about me. This week I bought eight pounds of bacon. And that's still better than the time I bought nothing but adult diapers and generic vodka. Now I know there is a reasonable explanation for these purchases. But I bet they just think I'm some incontinent alcoholic with a bacon fetish.

I think someone should sue Glen Lerner for the new commercials with former judge Tony Abbotangelo. "When you don't want to do the time, call Glen Lerner"...seriously? The commercials imply that they can get you out of criminal charges. I think that strongly borders on false advertising. Plus, Glen seems like a douche.

I wasn't nominated for an Oscar again this year. And I thought this might have been my best chance ever, since I was actually IN a film this year. On the good side, I don't have to find a dress.

I actually contacted my legislators to propose new legislation. I haven't heard back. How long should I wait to contact them again so that I don't cross the line from 'concerned citizen' to 'crazy lady'?

I wonder how much more productive I would be if I didn't possess so many ways to waste time? That said, someone would have to kill me to take my iPhone away. Or my DVR. Or my iPod. Or my computer. Or my cable TV.


Maura said...

I don't know who Glen Lerner is but if that's his commercial slogan he is outright saying that he wants to set guilty people free just because he can manipulate the system. I know criminal defense lawyers are obligated to give their clients the best defense possible, but I think that slogan crosses the line into promoting crime just so he'll have client. Jerk.

And Olive Garden should forget about trying to make their ravioli 'artisnal' - they should just wrap it in bacon!!

Maura said...

And I love the new pic!!!

Chan:) said...

Great new template. And Maura, artisanal means EXPENSIVE. Unless they are anything made by Shae.


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