I'm HOME!!!!!!

Be it ever so humble, there is no place like home.

I'm home from my New Mexico adventure and it was wonderful to sleep in my own bed. I got home and hugged my dog, my mom and my grandma. (Yes, in that order but only because my Grandma didn't run into the yard to greet me, tail wagging.)

I will miss the guys I was working with, the no crowds on the road and the ice cream. But I'm so glad to be in a place with multiple grocery stores, a Target and my family. And I am so happy to be home and writing again!!!!!! New Mexico was full of twelve hour days and no writing time, ugh. Back to work (the work I love and was meant to do.)

I will really miss Bill. We had a lot of thoughtful and intelligent conversations and I had an awesome time with him (although my calves are still killing me after our zillion mile hike through Carlsbad Caverns on Saturday). It was great to hang out with someone who shared my love of barbecue, ice cream and books. Plus he is always singing and it's cool to hear someone who truly loves music (he also plays guitar and I liked hearing him practice.) And he's such a good guy he let me have sole custody of the remote control and he contained (mostly) his disdain for my watching Big Brother and has decided to not hold my plebeian television viewing habits against me. I love you Bill and I wish for you all the happiness you deserve. Thanks for making my stay infinitely more enjoyable. And not many guys would willingly watch Pride and Prejudice with me, thanks!

Today I have a list of chores a mile long to get my life back to 'normal'. I should be back to blogging daily. Thanks for sticking with me, loyal readers.

Always Late for the Party

So, April Fool's Day has come and gone and once again I missed it. It happens every year. I think of some great prank in say, August or November, and think to myself, "I have to remember that" and then I don't. Or I don't remember until April second. And so it was once again this year.

I know it was April Fool's Day, I did. At one point during the day the base went to FPCON Delta (which for you civilians like me means you have to stay put in your office and not even stick your nose out the door until you go to FPCON Charlie - we are normally at FPCON Alpha). Even though I knew the base was on exercises I still wondered if it was an April Fool's joke. (I was informed that the U.S. military does not joke - EVER. Apparently our Uncle Sam has no sense of humor. And I'll admit that it wasn't funny to see those soldiers, er, excuse me, airmen, in flack jackets and combat helmets patrolling around...even if I knew it was just an exercise.)

I even caught the joke on Google about the colonization of Mars. Funny stuff and it must have taken a while for them to put it all together. But I didn't do anything to commemorate the day. Maybe it's because I'm far from home, with a group of guys who think 'pull my finger' is the height of classic comedy, on a military base which does not appreciate my quirky sense of humor. But truthfully, I suspect that it's because I'm a terrible practical joker. So every year I think I should do something on April Fool's Day and every year I'm a 'day late and a dollar short'.

So I hope you had a great April Fools that was full of laughter and fun. And next year, I'll have a great prank planned. (Not)

Ten Places I Wish I Was at Right Now

1. Home
2. Santorini, Greece - eating Greek yogurt and honey while watching bronzed Greek gods fishing in the Mediterranean.
3. On a luxury cruise ship in the middle of the ocean sitting on deck reading a trashy novel.
4. On a white sandy beach somewhere sipping a rum punch.
5. In a coastal Irish cottage with a peat fire burning while I write my novel.
6. Having lunch at Spago with my agent.
7. At a book signing - with me as the author.
8. On a Hollywood sound stage watching my film being made.
9. Eating a hot dog at Gray's Papaya in Manhattan.
10. Austin, Texas.

Things I Miss About Las Vegas

1. My family.
2. My dog.
3. My family.
4. My bed.
5. My family.
6. My TV.
7. My family.
8. Cooking in my own kitchen.
9. My family.
10. My friends.
11. Fresh & Easy.
12. Did I mention I miss my family?

Things I Don't Like About New Mexico

1. Crappy cable TV at the house. (Bad)
2. No TV at all in my room - not even with the antenna I bought at Wal-Mart. (Worse)
3. Bad Mexican food - how is that possible in a place named New Mexico? (Awful)
4. Long drive up and down the mountain every day.
5. The gate guard who takes ten minutes to look at my ID every morning and still can't figure out where the expiration date is on my license.
6. Wal-Mart (Of course, I hate that in Las Vegas too but at least in Vegas there is a Target.)
7. Police vehicles painted silver/grey with little tiny lights. (LVMPD has giant black and white cruisers with giant lights you can see a mile away.)
8. Albuquerque news that never gives you Alamogordo weather.
9. My family isn't here.
10. Lack of grocery stores. (Two? Two stores for thirty-five thousand people? And one is Wal-Mart? Ugh!)

Things I Like About New Mexico

1. Working with "my" Bill.
2. Zero traffic.
3. The way the wind sounds in the high trees in Cloudcroft.
4. Blue Bell ice cream.
5. The guys I'm working with, they are really cool. (Yes, even Ed.)
6. Learning all those crazy armed forces acronyms.
7. Green chile cheeseburgers.
8. Hastings - what a totally cool store. (Why don't we have these in Vegas?)
9. Really nice people.
10. The weather (warm during the day, cool at night, just the way I like it!)
11. Convenience stores that charge regular, not inflated, prices.
12. Pretty place with lots of cool scenery. I want to film a movie here.

Driving Miss Shae

Most people know I don't love driving. It's okay, I'm not like my mother who panics in traffic and plans a route that takes her fifteen miles out of the way but which keeps her from ever having to make a left hand turn. My brother loves to drive, he claims it relaxes him. I never understood the facination with driving, for me it's just a way to get from point A to point B withoug having to move my lazy butt much.

So coming to New Mexico with a forty-five minute commute down a mountain every day seems like something I'd hate. But, surprisingly, I don't mind. Mostly, I think, because there is no traffic. From the time I hit the highway outside our house to the bottom of the mountain I see maybe a half dozen cars in either direction. It gets a little busier as I head to the base but it's nothing compared to the traffic in Las Vegas. Granted, the population is about a tenth the size. But also because the planners of Alamogordo did a little thinking.

There is a main street in Alamogordo called White Sands Blvd. It's the main throughfare through town. It can get crowded during 'rush hour' just because it's pretty much the street most businesses are on and there are a lot of stoplights. So the city planners built the Charlie T. Lee Memorial Relief Route, an expressway about a mile west of the main drag. I take it to the highway to the base. There are usually less people on it than there are coming down off the mountain (so about five). I'm glad it exists and I'm sure as Alamogordo grows it will be used more. But it seems like I'm the only one using it right now.

I also don't mind driving because my rental car has XM radio and they have a comedy channel. I like listening to music on the radio but this comedy thing is pretty cool. If the comedians are good I just get to laugh all the way to work. The downside is that XM radio has commercials. Isn't the point of satellite radio that it doesn't have commercials. Guess not. And they are the same commercials over and over again. All for male enhancement and home loans, I feel like I'm being internet spammed in my car. XM is also a lot like cable TV, I have over two hundred channels and I only listen to like eight of them. Oh well, it's nice to have and I get reception even in the mountains, except for a few minutes when I'm going through the tunnel, which is what the picture is, the tunnel to Cloudcoft.

Anyway, there is a moral to my tale. My brother once said I wasn't an outdoor kind of girl and I said I was, just not in Las Vegas where it's a hundred and ten degrees and desert. So I said I don't like driving but now I think I like driving, just not in Las Vegas where the traffic is heavy and the drivers are crazy.

Wedding Bliss

I love weddings. Do you know the movie "Wedding Crashers"? Well I'd love to go weddings all the time. Not to hook up, like the guys in the movie, but because I think weddings are so wonderful.

First of all, one of the key components of a wedding is cake. I adore cake. It's hard to be sad around cake. That's why they serve cake at celebrations and rarely ever at solemn functions like funerals. Cake is festive and fun, And a wedding cake? High tiers of fluffy white cake covered in mounds of butter cream icing, it sends me over the moon just thinking about it. I'm not as fond of the tradition of smashing cake into the face of the bride or groom because that's a waste of perfectly good cake. But hey, as long as they leave enough for me, I'm happy.

Weddings make everyone feel like family. You chat with strangers as if you knew them because you are all related by how you know the bride or groom. And it doesn't matter that you haven't seen the groom since third grade when you were in Little League together, if they invited you to the wedding you're still family. You can dance with the bride's strange Uncle or just watch your friends dance like crazy people. (Whoever invented the line dance had a wicked sense of humor). You can Macarena or Hokey Pokey or Chicken Dance and not feel like a complete idiot. (And there are so very few places you can flap your arms in public and not be taken in for a twenty-four hour psych evaluation.)

But I think the reason I like weddings so much is because they are all about hope. It's easy to get cynical about love when the divorce rate is so high. But at a wedding there is a sense that here is the basic idea that love does exist and two people believe in that love so strongly that they want to commit themselves to that love for the rest of their lives. Only the future will tell if a couple can endure the trails and tribulations that life serves up but for those beautiful moments at a wedding, one can believe in 'happily ever after'. It's special to see a groom cry at the beauty of his bride, or a father tear as he gives his daughter away. It makes you believe that love is possible, life can be romantic and that there is someone for everyone. What a lovely way to be reminded of the happier side of life.

So thank you, Nicole and Michael, for letting me share a tiny bit of your joy. I wish you both a life as wonderful as that night was. Enjoy the magic and be happy. And the cake was delicious.

Good Friday?

Happy Good Friday everyone, even though I think it's a really misnamed holiday. I don't think it was a very good day for Jesus when he got crucified. Yeah, I know, he was dying for our sins and all that. Still, that Friday had to pretty much suck for him.

Speaking of the Easter holiday, there are a lot of churches in Cloudcroft, New Mexico where I am staying. By a lot I mean there are six churches in a town of less than eight hundred people. That's quite a few. I might not be in the bible belt, but I think I'm in a belt loop at least. Last night the Methodist Church had a 'living last supper' and I keep wondering what they served. I'm not a regular churchgoer (although I don't burst into flame when I cross the threshold of a church or anything) but there is a very pretty little Catholic church just a few blocks from where I am staying and I think I might head there for Easter Mass. Their stained glass windows are 'nature themed', I'll have to take a picture. It's unusual to see a stained glass window with a deer head on it.

Anyway, to all of those loyal readers celebrating the Easter holiday, I wish you a happy one!

Hello From Alamogordo!

Hello from Alamogordo, New Mexico!

Sorry, loyal readers, that it has taken me so long to write but it has been busy here. I got into town Sunday night after driving in the dark from El Paso, Texas. I'm staying in the lovely mountain town of Cloudcroft which is nice but a really long commute to where I'm working at Holloman Air Force Base. It's about a forty-five minute drive down a twisty mountain and then across the desert. There is little traffic but it's still a long drive.

I've been helping my friends at Newcom get their office running which has involved setting up vendor accounts, organizing the office, getting them on an insurance plan, setting up some accounting functions....wait, didn't I just quit a job? Now I'm doing the same darned thing. Once I get home it should just be some remote accounting functions but I can tell you that having been off a month and just writing, going back to work is no fun. I want to be working in my pjs with no commute. I can't wait to get back home!

New Mexico is, well, a lot like Nevada frankly. Mountains, desert, it's all here except not as much glitz and glamour here. Everyone seems friendly though and I've been enjoying what little time I have away from the base.

Can I just say that military bases intimidate the hell out of me. All of those people in uniforms saluting and carrying guns and security acronyms is just kind of scary. God Bless the men and women of the armed forces who can do the thankless job we ask them to do to support and defend our country. I couldn't do it. Everyone calls me "ma'am" which we know is a woman's least favorite thing but I know they are just being polite. And this afternoon if I can sneak out of the office the Stealth Bomber will be on display. That might be cool. It's also cool that I have my little "Federal Contractor" Badge so I can get on base. But I can't shop at the Base Exchange or buy gas, tobacco or alcohol on base, that's only for military personnel. Good for them , they deserve something for all of their hard work. I can go to the 'shopette', a little convenience type store that has everything. Seriously. I need one of those "Mr. Clean Magic Eraser's" yesterday and they had them at the shopette, and they weren't more expensive there either. Later, Bill needed starter fluid for one of the engines and they had that too! Strange store but I like it. They have little mini bottles of alcohol which of course I can't buy but I'm endlessly fascinated with. They have a gourmet wine selection too. I'm telling you, it's an amazing store.

Okay, I have to run, I'll post more later. Miss you all, loyal readers!

Things I Need to Do Before I Go To New Mexico

Figure out how to pack two weeks worth of clothes into one tiny suitcase.
Figure out how to pack my jacket (Bill says it's cold in Cloudcroft).
Buy tapes for the camcorder.
Buy crap at Walmart, like luggage tags, razors, etc.
Go get my Mac from the Apple store and bring it home.
Go to the library.
Reschedule Java's vet appointment (I didn't know I was leaving town when I made it last week).
Look for a retractable mouse to pack with my laptop.
Smigits meeting at the new office (yay for the new office!)
Zillion things I haven't though of yet!

Garden Update

So here is an update on the garden. I planted tomatoes, basil, sage, thyme, lavender and mint and am still looking for parsley, cilantro and pepper plants. It was far more difficult to find herbs than I expected. But after getting really dirty digging in my little plot I got them in. The tomato plants already have some tomato blossoms so I'm hoping for a good crop. I have my "Master Gardener" mother looking after them while I'm gone and today we are shopping for the right fertilizers. (Apparently we want one fertilizer for the herbs because we want leaf growth and a different one for the tomatoes because there we want fruit growth...who knew?)
By the way, working in the garden is good exercise...my 'squat' muscles tell me so!

Computer Go Boom

I was right in the middle of typing the previous post and was inserting a picture when my screen went black and nothing would bring it back. Poof, gone, nothing. I though it might be a power issue but everything else on the power strip worked. So I called technical support. They told me that I was 45 days past my warranty, which seemed odd to me since I only bought the computer 36 days ago. I had to fax them my receipt and jump through a variety of hoops but I have an appointment today to take it in to the Apple Store so hopefully they can get it fixed quickly since I leave town in three days. And I hope they rescue the hard drive since it has my scripts on it (Aughhhhhhh!)So I have switched to my laptop. Computers are truly wonderful and amazing things...when they work. The battle of Mac vs. PC has begun!

A Little Work

My plan for the 'year of writing dangerously' was to live on my meager savings and depend on the kindness of strangers until I could sell something. But, as they say, plans were meant to be changed. A friend and former colleague offered me a job that I can do part time and from home. Yes, I can still work in my pajamas. (Some day I'll turn the webcam on and scare you all but maybe I'll wait for Halloween). It's my hope that this part time employment will mean that perhaps I can stretch the 'year of writing dangerously" out a bit and not use my saving for a while. But, while the job will be from home, I am going to New Mexico for two weeks to help them get everything set up and running.

I'm hoping there will be some downtime while I'm in New Mexico. I'll be in Alamogordo and the White Sands Film Festival is going on while I'm there. It's not too far from Alamogordo to Roswell, NM. While I'm not a UFO freak, I am a huge fan of kitch and I want to go visit.

I hope you all won't think of this as selling out, I wasn't looking for a job but when one fell in my lap that would let me hold off on using up my savings it just seemed prudent to take it, especially one that I can do from home. I promise it won't interfere with my writing, my new boss understands that the writing comes first.

I'm leaving for Alamogordo on Sunday and I'm taking my laptop with me so I'll try to post while I'm there. I'm also taking my cameras with me so I'll post pictures and I'm hoping to make a short little film about the trip.

ADDITION: I tried to insert the same picture of Roswell that I did yesterday and just as I hit the insert button my computer shut down the same way it went dead when I tried it on the Mac. Spooky.

Farmer Girl

Here is a picture of my new "garden". Okay, it's just a plot at this point but I spent yesterday clearing away the leaves, cleaning the debris, digging out the weeds, etc. I am going to plant an herb garden so I don't have to spend several dollars every time I want some fresh basil. This spot should be pretty good (according to my mum, the master gardener) because it gets morning sun and afternoon shade. Today I'm going to turn the soil and then tomorrow go and buy the plants. I'd like to put in basil, mint, chives, thyme, sage, cilantro, tomatoes and maybe some jalapenos. Yes, I know, tomatoes and jalapenos aren't herbs but I love home grown tomatoes and with some jalapenos and cilantro I can make my own salsa. Of course, all of this depends on what I can find at the plant store.

Boy, gardening is a lot of work. My muscles are screaming today. I got a heck of a workout. You might be wondering what having an herb garden has to do with the 'year of writing dangerously'. Well, this year is about exploring things I want to do but haven't had time for, and a little garden is something I could never have in my old apartment. Plus the time in my garden is going to be kind of a 'zen' thinking time, which can only help my writing. (Maybe I should but in some lavender, heroines in historical romances always have fresh lavender.)

My time off is kind of like when you graduate from college and take a year of to see the world, decide what you want to do with your life, etc. I know I want to be a writer but I have a zillion other things I'd like to explore. I'm going to shoot a short documentary. (I've been playing with my video camera, it actually shoots pretty well for a consumer camera). I shot some footage at the Las Vegas Zoo and now I'm playing with the editing software to learn how it works. I'm going to bottle my own soda (I've invented a new flavor, as soon as I start bottling I'll be looking for a tasting panel.) I have an idea for a Las Vegas themed novelty I'm going to produce (I already have had success with the prototype.) So I want this to be a time of exploration and learning and creativity. Or perhaps I'm just indulging my schizophrenia.

Back to the garden. I'll post pictures of it's progress. And hopefully, in a few months, I'll be sharing it's bounty!

I will miss you Aunt Martha

My great Aunt Martha passed away this morning. It wasn't unexpected and she was eighty-four but we will miss her nonetheless.

I didn't meet my mom's aunt until I was around eleven years old because she lived in Medellin, Colombia (Yes, the home of Pablo Escobar and the drug cartels, if you watch Entourage). In my family we always called them "The Colombians". It was Aunt Martha and her husband Tommy, her daughter Martha Inez and her husband Billio and thir sons Juan and Jose. They came to visit one Christmas and it was like aliens had come to visit. Billio and the boys only spoke Spanish (except Juan and Jose could say Rice Crispies and Coca-Cola). But it didn't matter because Aunt Martha talked enough for everyone.

Aunt Martha had an interesting life. She was raised in Clarksburg, West Virginia, a pretty small town (but bigger than Salem, where my Grandmother's side of the family came from). She was the middle child, my Grandfather was the oldest and her other brother Tom was the youngest. She went to the hospital during World War II for a medical condition (my grandma can't remember what it was but she's eighty-seven so we forgive her) where she met dashing Tommy Duarte, the son of wealthy South American landowners who was in the U.S. for treatment for polio. They married, against my Great-Grandmother's wishes (apparently her wish was that all of her children remain single and lived with her their entire lives...none of them followed her wishes). Apparently it wasn't bad enough that Tommy Duarte was South American but he was also, gasp, Catholic. But Martha loved Tommy and she converted to Catholicism. Her mother did not attend the wedding. They got married and had a daughter, Martha Inez. Soon after they moved to Colombia. While Tommy was actually from Venezuela, his family owned many plantations in Colombia and they setted in Baranquilla, Colombia. I'm not sure when they moved to Medellin but they were living there when they came to visit us. Aunt Martha taugh English at a local college and Martha Inez's husband, Billio, was a respected dentist and college professor.

The 1990's brought great turmoil to Colombia (again, those infamous drug cartels) and living in Medellin became a very dangerous place. Even when we were little, Aunt Martha was amazed at the freedom my brother and I were allowed, since children didn't play unsupervised (it was the 1980's and we could wander our streets freely, as long as we were home when the streetlights came on, something that today seems like less of a good idea). Children left unsupervised in the late eighties and early nineties in Colombia were kidnapped by the cartels and held for ransom. Billio was kidnapped, held for three days and released to die in the jungles of Colombia. Bandits on motorcycles snatched the necklace from Aunt Martha's neck while she was driving her car in traffic. Uncle Tommy would go to the college with her and wait in the car while she taught class so that she wouldn't be alone and a target for thieves or worse. Finally the American consulate recommended that order was beyond their contorl and our Colombian relatives came to live in the U.S. (Matha, Matha Inez, Juan and Jose all being U.S. citizens). They came to live in Las Vegas but life was far harder in the U.S. They had to leave a lot of money and land and valuables behind and while Billio was a respected doctor in Colombia, in the states he had to find work as a dishwasher. They eventually decided to move to Louisville, Kentucky.

I will always remember Aunt Martha as a robust woman who wore shoes that were way too small. (Why is it heavy women still insist they have a size five foot? Her shoes looked soooo uncomfortable. Not me, give me a pair of size tens and pass the cookies.) She talked constantly and would finish your sentances for you, everyone's, not matter who was talking. I will remember her generosity, she was always willing to help out no matter what. I will remember her love of family, and how she cared for her family above everything else. I will remember her tutoring me through college Spanish ( Thank goodness for Aunt Martha, I wouldn't have passed without her. I got a C, which was not her fault, I just suck at grammar, even though Aunt Martha praised my accent as perfect.) I will remember the giant diamond ring she wore and when she cooked us filet mignon with peas cooked in lettuce and the pendant she bought me that first Christmas which was gold with a flower basket woven in gold and semi-stones as the flowers and the basket weaving spelled out the word "mother" but I don't think she noticed and I never told her. (I also never wore the pendant, sorry.) She was an amazing woman and someone who's presence always seemed larger than life. I can't believe she's gone but her last year was one where she was in pain and I truly believe she is in a better place. Heaven today is a bit brighter and a whole lot more talkative.

My thoughts and prayers are with the whole Rincon-Duarte family. I love you all.

My friend Jimmy lost his dad yesterday. My thoughts and prayers are with him as well. It's a difficult thing to lose a beloved family member. No words can express how truly sorry I am. My condolences.

I Can't Afford to Be Cool

Okay, so this weekend was a story about how one couple felt they were ripped off at one of the local "ultra lounges", the hip new term for a dance club. In brief, they made a reservation where they were told they needed to buy two bottles of alcohol at three hundred seventy-five a piece to reserve the table. When they got there they had to tip two hundred and fifty dollars just to get to their 'reserved' seats. Apparently you have to tip to avoid the bathroom line, tip to get 'security' to do gosh only knows what, etc. They were charged five hundred dollars a bottle for the alcohol instead of three seventy-five and the night cost them several thousand dollars. The man said he feld "financially raped".

Okay, I can understand how they felt abused. But no means no. They didn't have to buy into the hype, they could have refused to pay the outrageous charges, they could have gone somewhere else. But they wanted to be cool, hang at a place with the popular people and be hip. I guess it's actually a very democratic system if you realize that those who aren't 'cool' can buy their way into cool. Aren't wearing the 'right' clothes? Tip the door guy enough and he'll overlook it. Don't fit in? Bring cash and you'll be accepted and loved...for as long as your money holds out anyway.

Now I'm going to reveal how uncool I really am (I know, big shock to those who know me). I used to love to go dancing and we would go to clubs. (Not ultra-lounges, but clubs). We never had to wait in line, and I never paid for a table and drinks were about five bucks apiece. (But most of the time when I'm dancing I drink water, gotta stay hydrated when you are gyrating) If we found a table that was empty, we took it and someone in our group had to protect it or we would lose it. (This is called 'purse patrol' since if there was a table protector all of the girls would leave their purses rather than take them on the dance floor.) You left your drink on the table and placed a napkin over the top of it to let the staff know that you were still drinking it. (Not a good idea today in the era of GHB.)

So back then an evening out might cost me ten dollars. Five for my drink, a dollar for a tip and four bucks for breakfast at some casino with a cheap breakfast special in the wee hours of the morning after the night out. Hopefully we would find men to buy us additional drinks. This happened most of the time because my friends were kind of slutty and had big boobs, and I have a great personality.

Several thousand dollars isn't a night out, it's rent and groceries and car payments. I don't know how anyone, no matter how weathy, who can justify to me spending that kind of money on a dance club. A trip to France, I understand. A cruise to Alaska, yup, I can see that. But too loud music, warm alcohol and paying to pee? No way. I will admit that on the hip scale I fall far closer to 'dweeb' than to 'cool girl'. And I'm okay with that, because I can afford to be a dweeb. I can't afford to be cool.

List #2

Here is a list of things I though about yesterday. It's kind of fun, like a stream of consciousness exercise.

1. The lady at the fitting room at Ross must hate me because I try on a pile of clothes and she has to hang them back up.
2. Why is that guy following me around the shoe department? Is he a stalker? Is he store security and do I look like a shoplifter? Does he just like women's shoes? He's creeping me out.
3. Why am I looking at clothes? I'm unemployed (er, I mean, self employed) and I work from home. I don't need clothes.
4. This dress is so retro, I feel like Emma Peel from the old "Avengers" series. Except I don't have an Emma Peel body. More like Un-a-Peel. Still this dress is so cute I want a beehive hairdo and a pair of white go-go boots to go with it. Nah, I could never pull it off.
5. I like Target. Probably too much. I spent forty-eight dollars. I went way over budget.
6. Having no shopping money sucks.
7. How is my dog's ass doing? It's strange to worry about your dog's butt. How can a little dog butt cost so much? I wonder how much the follow up vet visit to check my dog's butt is going to cost?
8. What am I going to make for dinner tomorrow? Will can be picky.
9. Don't forget to buy sour cream. Do they sell sour cream at Target so I don't have to go to the grocery store? They do.
10. Okay, if I start some laundry before I make the meatloaf, then when I put the meatloaf in the oven run in and take a shower, then when I get out of the shower put in another load of laundry before I make the mashed potatoes, will that work out to have inner ready by 6:30?
11. This is the greatest meatloaf ever. I'll have to put it on my food blog. I should have my own cooking show. Real cooking for real people. I'm a good cook with a great personality, I could host my own cooking show. Who would I call? Do they have fat cooking show hosts? Paul Prudhomme was so fat he cooked sitting down in a chair. I'm not that fat. But girl cooking show hosts are uber skinny, like Giada. She looks anorexic. I don't really believe she eats all the food she makes. I eat all the food I make and I look like it. Sixty percent of the population is overweight, aren't we really underrepresented in the cooking show realm? Man, this is good meatloaf.
12. Why do I watch Big Brother?
13. I hate when I'm watching live TV and I hit the fast forward button and I can't fast forwards the boring parts. I should DVR everthing so I can fast forward whenever I want.
14. "Secrets of the Psychics Revealed" or "Pussycat Dolls Present Girlicious"? Is that really what I'm deciding between? Mensa is going to come revoke my membership just based on my television viewing habits. Okay, I'll watch the "Secrets" show and just flip to "Girlicious" to se who get's kicked off. I hope it's Natalie. I've never met her but they sure edit her to look like a total bitch. I want Illise to win. Go you Glamizonain redhead!
15. So that's how psychics do that, it's all trickery. I feel both vindicated and dissapointed.
16. Law and Order has been on forever. But I love Jeremy Sisto. I wish Law and Order was more like Law and Order: SVU so that Jeremy was on the whole show instead of just the first half. Christopher Meloni is so hot on SVU. He was even hot on that prison show where he was a criminal and he raped that guy. But he's hotter as a good guy cop.
17. I was really tired and now I can't go to sleep. What's up with that?

Lists

My friend had been doing lists on her blog and since I'm kinda tired today, I though I'd cheat and copy her idea.

List of things I thought about yesterday

1. Java has to go to the vet, how much is that going to cost me?
2. I love the library, I got like a ton of books for free. Of course, I do have to give them back.
3. How can they charge $180.00 to fix the fuel door on my mom's car? It's like a 5 minute job. Dealerships rip you off.
4. Election results
5. Why people are so mean to each other on "Big Brother"? If I was on that show I'd cry all the time.
6. Ooh, they released the second season of the old Hardy Boys show on DVD.
7. How incredibly lame am I that I care that they released the second season of the old Hardy Boys show on DVD?
8. Well, I must not be the only lame person who watched that show as a kid, right? Right? It's not on DVD for just me, right?
9. If you mix Mike's Hard Lemonade with Mike's Hard Limeade, will it resemble a margarita in flavor?
10. I love Del Taco's "3 for 99 vents" Taco Tuesdays.
11. I love my Mom, she's a truly great person. I wish I had enough money to make all of her worries go away. Tacos and a fake margarita aren't enough to show her how much I appreciate her. New toilets would be a start. And a new fence. And getting her house painted. Bet that costs more than 99 cents.
12. If I shop at Fresh & Easy every day, is that an obsession? How many days a week can I shop there without becoming 'that weird lady who is in here every day'?
13. What am I going to make for dinner on Thursday?

Writing Update

So, for those of you checking in on the 'year of writing dangerously', here is an update on how the writing is going.

Novel - The love story of Miss Gemma Merryvale and Lord Simon Farrow is progressing nicely. No bodice ripping yet, but they are definitely interested in one another.

Screenplay #1 - "Imaginary Boyfriend" - Screenplay started and opening scenes written.

Screenplay #2 - I'm re-writing "Arnie Johnson's Big Break". For those Arnie fans out there don't worry. I'm just making the film a little more noir, but the basic story isn't changing. Just tweaking and polishing, making it a little more edgy, like "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang". I had the idea for the re-writes and since I hadn't looked at Arnie in a while I re-read the script. Honestly, it wasn't half bad for a first script. I even made myself laugh at a few scenes. I'm just freshening Arnie up, he could use a new pair of shoes. My goal is to get him ready for the Nicholl competition, deadline is May 1st.

Smidigits - I hope some of you are checking out the work I've been doing at www.smidgits.com If you haven't checked it out, may I suggest "The Sign" or any of my "We're Cookin' Now" episodes. I have been writing and directing a new series called "The Jerseynaut" which will premiere soo but I think the trailers for the show available right now.

Thanks to everyone who has been checking out the blogs (this one and www.gourmand-girl.blogspot.com) and if you keep reading, I'll keep writing!

Wii and the Pathetically Unathletic

Okay, so I got a Wii for my family for Christmas. Yes, I stood in line early one cold December morning in hopes of scoring one of these video game systems, after even thinking about buying a black market Wii at double the price.

Why? I'm not a video game person by nature. Sure, we had Pong whan I was a kid but that was no more than an animated Etch-a-Sketch really and my bouts of playing were pretty short, as Barbie's life was far more interesting (some day I'll post about why Barbie is the reason I became a writer). Sure, I played Ms. Pac Man like all of my friends, since I was a child of the 80's, but I was never a high score, as most of the time I heard that blooping sound as Ms. Pac Man was eaten by the ghosts. So why was I so obsessed with obtaining the Wii? Because I heard it was a video game system for the video game retarded like me.

Families could use the Wii, not just the shaggy-haired video game obsessed teenage sons, hunched over their controllers furiously killing assorted, aliens/terrorists/cops/whatever or battling orks/elves/hobbits/whatever in the modern day version of Dungeons and Dragons. (Geek that I was, I never got into DnD, but I watched my brother play and it always seemed too complicated with their many sided dice, graph paper, thick books and folders of character information). Older people in nursing homes were using Wiis, I figured, why not me?

So we began playing Wii as a family. My brother and his fiancee had used the Wii at other peoples homes so they became our guides. We played for hours on New Years Eve for hours and every Sunday since. My mother can kick our butts in bowling and she's pretty good at golf too (she's not so good at tennis, she still tries to play during the replays too.) My grandma likes the bowling although we had to make a few modifications for her 87 years (she holds the Wii remote upside down to make it easier) and my brother and I are pretty competitive at tennis.

Now I am athletically challenged (the PC term for spazz). But in my mind's eye I'm athletic. I can always imagine that one day I'll suddenly enjoy exercise, that perhaps it's just a matter of finding the right sport. We had tennis rackets as kids and while I could never actually play tennis, I was really good at serving the ball not just over the net but over the high fence surrounding the court as well. (In baseball this would be considered a home run but in tennis it's frowned upon). I had my parents buy me a football and a basketball one Christmas (they were shocked when their chubby little bookworm daughter wanted athletic gear as a present but, bless them, they got them for me) I was convinced that all I need to become athletic was a little practice. So I would take my balls over to the schoolyard and practice in secret, knowing that one day the moment would arise when I could show off my athletic prowess and impress all of my teammates. After all, that's how it works in movies, right, the nerdy little kid catches the winning touchdown or shoots the winning basket in the last second of the game? But I could only make a basket by 'grannying' the ball (holding the ball with both hands between your legs then thrusting them forwards, hoping it would arc towards the basket and not end up behind you) but since this move is time consuming and embarrassing (and never used in the NBA) I never made that glorious shot. I might have made a winning catch in football, had anyone ever thrown the ball even vaguely in my direction but knowing me, I probably would have just ducked to avoid it. So I was always the last kid picked for teams (except once, and David Newton will be my hero forever and ever) and I never did find a sport I can excel in.

But then along comes the Wii. You create your own character (a Mii) that looks like you (mine even has my double chin) and you play a variety of games - tennis, baseball, bowling, boxing and golf. And with a little practice I have become marginally competent. And for me, marginal competence is the equivalent of Olympic level excellence. I can now play tennis and actually volley the ball for more than ten seconds. I have broken the score of 100 in bowling (something I have yet to achieve in the real world) and I can shoot for par on a nine hole course. Best of all, my Wii age has come down from sixty-eight to twenty-seven! The Wii has given me back my mind's eye vision of myself as an athlete. When I'm playing Wii, I'm Maria Sharipova or Tiger Woods or some dude who's the top guy in bowling. (His name is probably Herb, but I don't know that for sure, which goes to show you how little respect the sport of competitive bowling gets). And I don't even have to go out in the heat, or put on rented shoes, or lug a heavy bag of clubs around. You can do it in your air conditioned living room in your underwear if you want (not that I do that). And you can impress your family that, at last, you don't suck quite so bad.

Next I want to get Guitar Hero for my Wii. After playing Wii sports, I suspect that if I get Guitar Hero I may be something of a musical genius and destined to become a rock star. Which would be quite an accomplishment for a girl who couldn't even play the Flute-a-Phone in elementary school.

Leaping into March

Okay, so today is Leap Day, that weird extra day we get every four years. It's an intercalary day (like my big fancy word? yes, I had to look it up) that we add periodically to adjust the Gregorian calendar. February is the strange month anyway (why is it so dang short?) so we add it here. Leap day sucks for people born on February 29th since they only get a birthday every four years and apparently most websites won't let you register since a lot of them don't recognize 2/29 as a valid day. It is good, however, for guys who get married on Leap Day since they only have to remember an anniversary every four years.

One of the longest standing Leap Day traditions, going back to at least the thirteenth century (yes, I had to look it up) is that on this day women are allowed to propose to men. Okay, it's the 21st century now and women can now propose anytime they want but for a long time they couldn't and so Leap Day became the great equalizer. I wonder how many guys back then found a way to be 'out of town' on Leap Day? Of course, men could always say no, but if they did they had to pay a kind of 'consolation gift' to soften the blow. This could be a kiss, money or a silk gown. Not a bad deal, actually.

Of course today we aren't nearly so archaic. Today we celebrate this most unusual of days by getting free McSkillet Burrito's at McDonald's (during breakfast hours only, with the purchase of a large beverage, so you'd better hurry) or the big "Leap Year Mattress Sale" at RC Willey. Much more civilized. But I like the idea of Leap day being a kind of "Opposite Day'.

So, in the spirit of Leap Day's past, I would like to take this time to formally propose to actor Owen Wilson. Yeah, I know, you'll probably say no. So contact me and I'll let you know where to send my consolation prize.

Why?

Okay, so I wrote some lyrics yesterday. Why? I have no idea. I'm not a lyricist and I certainly don't know how to write music. But this 'song' and the words kept playing in my head so I wrote it down. Part of the 'year of writing dangerously' is to examine the creative process and do what feels natural as a writer. So here are the lyrics to the song that was floating around in my head. I wish you could hear the music that goes with it but short of jumping into my brain I don't know how that can happen. So, think of it as a weird poem, I guess. And if anyone knows someone who wants to set it to music, let me know!

I think I miss me
I'm not the girl I used to be
I was a poet, and a painter
But you thought that I should try
To put my foolish dreams aside

I think I lost me
When I found you
I'm not blaming anyone
But it's time for me to run
And find the me I used to know
The girl I was so long ago

You thought you'd fix me
And for a while I didn't see
But I think we can agree
I wasn't broken
Just not what you had in mind
To make your perfect kind of life

I need a partner
To stand beside me
Not in front of
Or behind me
Who believes in what I am
And wouldn't want to change my plan

I think I lost me
When I found you
I'm not blaming anyone
But It's time for me to run
And find the me I used to know
The one I was so long ago

Hump Day

Boy, does that phrase have multiple meanings or what? Hump Day. Sorry, it just makes me laugh. (And brings to mind my little dog, Java, trying to assert her dominance over her much taller and heavier cousin, Pax.) Hope you have a good hump day as you cruise on to the end of the week.

Week Two

Okay, I'll be honest. It still feels like I'm playing hooky. Don't get me wrong, I've been working, writing these two daily blogs, working on my scripts, re-writing another, trying to find networking opportunities, etc. But I still feel a bit like someone is going to be calling me, wondering why the hell I'm not at the office. And I miss the daily interaction with my friends at work. So I'm still tweaking my schedule, trying to find put what is going to work the best for me. And I'm making and sticking to my 'Do' lists so that I stay on track. The deadline for the Nicholl Fellowship is May 1st so I need to have my re-write and another script done by then. So it's back to work for me (and probably for you) so thanks for checking in. See you soon!

And the Oscar Goes To....

Okay, last night was one of my favorite nights of the year, the Academy Awards. I though Jon Stewart did a great job. His opening monologue was funny but he kept the show tight and I though it was quite nice. I was a little disappointed in the fact that Americans seemed highly under represented - Best Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor and Suporting Actress all went to Europeans. I think they are great actors but c'mon, not one American?

Let's talk fashion for a brief moment. Helen Mirren looked FABULOUS, proving that an older woman can be elegant and sexy at the same time. I loved her ruby dress with the glittering sleeves. Worst look has to go to Tilda Swinton. What in the hell was she thinking?!? She looked like an androgenous alien wearing a garbage bag with one armhole cut out. I couldn't figure out if it was a dress or some weird performance art piece (you know, like the ones where the artist emerges from a bag to represent some rebirth bulls@#t). Her stylist (and her makeup artist and her hair stylist/colorist) should all be taken out an summarily shot. It was really, really bad, like beyond that swan outfit Bjork wore one year.

I was really wondering where Ben Affleck was. Jennifer Garner was there, sitting next to Casey Affleck but no Ben. His brother was nominated for an award, his wife was presenting an he couldn't even show up? I think it was way wrong of the Academy to not nominate him for Best Adapted Screenplay but still, he could have showed up. He could do Jimmy Kimmel for cryin' out loud but not show up for the big show? Ben, I'm dissapointed in you. Even Owen Wilson showed up and you have had a much better year than he has. And I'm not buying the 'someone had to stay home with Violet' story. Hire a babysitter.

My least favorite moment was when Diablo Cody won for Best Original Screenplay. It wasn't because I didn't think she deserved to win, I loved "Juno" and thought it was a terrifically witty and thoughtful film. But Diablo (I'm hoping that Diablo Cody was just her stripper name, not the one her parents gave her) seemed manic throughout her speech and honestly, I though she was really disingenious. She seemed to 'tear up' at the end of her speech when she thanked her family but as soon as she turned away she looked almost angry. She grabbed the envelope from Harrison Ford and sort of stomped off stage. I thought it made the whole speech look faked. One reviewer of the Oscars though she looked glum and wondered if Harrison Ford was taking her to detention instead of just winning an Oscar. If it had been me, I would have been jumping through the roof (an award AND Indiana Jones, it don't get much better than that!) To all future winners, just remember that the cameras are ALWAYS watching.

My favorite moment of the night was when Jon Stewart let Marketa Irglova come back and finish her acceptance speech. I was delighted to see Glen Hansard and Marketa win for Best Original Song (restoring my faith in the Academy) and not just because now I can say I have hung out with two Oscar winners but because it as a great song from a great film that truly deserved to win. But Glen's exuberance led to Marketa's portion being cut off by the band once his thirty seconds was up. Jon brought Marketa back out after the commercial break to take her moment in the spotlight. Not only as that well done of Jon, but it was one of the most touching speeches of the evening.

I watch the Oscars not only to celebrate the movies and see my favorite celebrities, but to reinforce my dreams of making movies and writing good films. I look to many of the winners for inspiration. So I'd like to thank Marketa for the words in her speech that I will look back and reflect upon in the days ahead as I struggle to reach my dreams.

"This is proof that no matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible. And, you know, fair play to those who dare to dream and don't give up." -Marketa Irglova

Thanks and fair play to you too.

Friday With No Meaning

Friday is a day that has always had some kind of connotation. It is the end of the work week and the start of the weekend. It was that way when I was in school, you looked forward to Friday because school was going to be out and Friday night was the night I hung out with my friends and went to the football game or to the movies. For the last seven years I have worked a Monday through Friday job with weekends off and Fridays again took on the significance of being the end of the long week. Fridays always seemed a bit more relaxed, as though everyone were mentally winding down. But now that I'm a self-employed writer, Fridays don't seem as important as they once were. Yes, tomorrow will still be Saturday, but I'm still planning on writing, and because of my less structured environment I can do whatever I need to do any day I want to do it. So Friday doesn't seem as large and, frankly, as fun as it used to be. On the other hand, maybe Mondays won't suck as bad as they used to. I'll have to let you know.

For those who were concerned about the situation in Wells after my last post, George and Marina Yan are fine as are their home and businesses. Their television didn't survive however as it was thrown from the entertainment center during the quake. Services will be private.

Keep an eye out on www.smidgits.com for the new series, The Jerseynaut, which I have co-written and directed. It;s a quick and funny new series and Jimmy Germano is hilarious. You go, Jimmy G! It has been awesome working with such a talented actor and as always such an amazing creative group.

Earthquake in Wells

There was a 6.3 earhtquake this morning centered around Wells, Nevada. My friend Tina has parents who live and own businesses in the area (in fact, her Dad is the former mayor). I haven't heard if everything is okay yet but my thoughts and prayers are with them.

I love the stories that Tina tells about growing up in this tiny town pretty much in the middle of nowhere. But even I get confused sometimes and I remember her telling me about one time when they were in Chinatown. I thought it was strange that they had a Chinatown section of Wells, since not only is Wells small in population but the Yan family was the only asian family in the area. I just assumed that wherever there was a Yan in Wells, that was where Chinatown was at the moment. She looked at me quite strangely and said, "Shae, the name of my family's restaurant IS Chinatown." Duh!

I also like the story about her delivering food from the family restaurant to the local brothel to a large black prositute named Peaches. There is a sitcom there, I know it.

I hope the Yan's, Wells and Chinatown are all okay.

Day Two

Day One went fine, I got 10 pages written of my new screenplay. I had trouble getting my motor started (it's a little intimidating when the page is completely blank) but once I got going it came prety smoothly. Today I will continue on that screenplay as well as starting work on my second blog, Gourmand-Girl, which will be about all things food. (Don't fret, there will still be some recipes and food discussion here, but for a more in depth food analysis, history, etc. go to www.gourmand-girl.blogspot.com) I am also looking into writer's groups so that I can start to network, cuz I need an agent!

In other news, Fidel Castro is stepping down as President of Cuba becuase he's 150 years old and tired of being the last Communist dictator dammit! Completely irrelevant to my writing but a victory for democracy. Have some ropa vieja to celebrate. See you tomorrow!

Day One

Okay, I've started my 'job' as a full time writer. So I woke up (with an alarm, just like with my previous job), worked out, ate breakfast and now I am sitting at my computer writing this. Hey, writing is writing, right? Blogs count, especially since it's a way of getting me to write something every day. Seriously, I have 3 great ideas for what to write but I'm a little scared to actually get started. I mean, what if I can't do this? I have been dreaming and planning and hoping for this day to come and what if it is all for nothing? Aughhhhhhh! Breathe Shae, just breathe. Okay, panic attack averted for this morning. Now I have to go start a script. See you all tomorrow!

Tomorrow is the First Day of the Rest of My Life

Okay, here was the dilemma as I begin my writing life. Do I start today, or, because today is a holiday and it would have been my day off at my "real" job, do I start tomorrow?
I wanted a day off (I didn't sleep well last night) so I'm opting to begin my new 'job' tomorrow but today I'm organizing my workspace, getting used to my new computer (I bought a new iMac, love, love, love it - and I now have high speed internet at home, hasta la vista dial up), installing my screenwriting software, etc., paying bills with the last paycheck I'll have for a while, etc.
So, for those that care, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. Today is a vacation day. Thank you, Mr. Presidents.

And So It Begins

The "Year of Writing Dangerously" has begun. Yesterday was one of the toughest days of my life when I had to say goodbye to my friends and collegues at the greatest job I ever had. Yes, I bawled like a newborn as I packed up my office to start what I now think of as an 'experiment in terror'. I have moved in with my mother and grandmother (a truly strange episode of the Golden Girls), quit my job and am now a full time writer and filmmaker (currently unemployed). Aughhhhhhh! What was I thinking?!? I had safety, security, medical insurance and a 401(k)! Now I have a Pilot G2 pen, a stack of blank paper, a gazillion ideas in my head that I now have to WRITE DOWN and just about enough in savings that while I won't starve to death I'll probably be existing on a lot of ramen noodles and day old bread. All in the name of 'pursuing my dream'. Okay, I'm scared but determined. I don't want this year to be a mistake so I'm going to hunker down and fulfill my destiny...what that destiny may be has yet to be revealed. Stay tuned dear readers, because the life on the ledge just became a life on a teeny tiny wafer thin ledge. Can she do it?

The Sweetest Day of the Year

It’s my favorite holiday. Life is truly sweet on this most special of holidays. Yes people, my favorite day of the year is February…..15th. Yup, the day after Valentine’s Day. No sappy cards, no wilted overpriced flowers, just candy – at 50% off. Life is good.

Happy Day After Valentine’s Day!

For Your Consideration

It’s my favorite time of year, when you root for your favorite, eat all sorts of yummy snacks and lay down odds on the winner. No, I’m not talking about the Superbowl, I’m talking about the Oscars®.

Most years I’ve seen at least half of the nominees. This year I’m batting zero. I haven’t seen a single Best Picture Nominee. I can’t make my predictions. I’ll go this weekend and try to see a couple (probably “Juno” and maybe “Atonement”). But I’m a little surprised at some of the nominations. “Hairspray” failed to receive a single nomination. What was the Academy thinking? Not even for costume or song? “Enchanted” got THREE song nominations?!? C’mon, does Disney own the Academy? I can see one, maybe even two but three of the five? I smell a rat, er, mouse.

Okay, the Academy did get one right. ‘Falling Slowly’ from the film “Once” by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova was nominated for Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original Song). The film was my Number One film of 2007 and this song is amazing. I have it on “The Swell Season” which I rushed out and bought after I saw “Once” at the 2007 Sundance Film Festival. Will and I were lucky to catch a late screening of the film while were at the fest. But the director, John Carney, stopped the film about four minutes in because of sound difficulties. They were going to cancel the screening if they couldn’t fix the sound (it’s a musical movie, sound is überimportant). While we waited for the technicians we were treated to an impromptu acoustic performance by Glen and Marketa. To say it was magical is a true understatement. We then got to watch the film (yay, Mr. Sound Guy!) and then had an encore after the film. Will got to talk to Glen, lead singer for the Irish band The Frames and I chatted with Marketa and got Glen, Marketa and John to sign my ticket. (Yeah, I suppose it is a bit juvenile, but I wanted a momento.) I also have the song on the “Once” soundtrack and on The Frames CD “The Cost”. Oh yeah, it’s also the ringtone on my phone. Can you say obsessed?

Now, if you see the film “Once”, and I really hope you do, you’ll find a charming little movie that breaks every rule of filmmaking. It’s poorly lit, badly shot, minimally scripted and WONDERFUL. The music makes the film and tells the story and that’s why it, and this song, is so good. Music at its best should be evocative and “Falling Slowly” is incredibly evocative. See the movie, then call me and I’ll loan you the CD.

Now, I implore the Academy for two things. If the show goes on (and it should, c’mon WGA and give us the Oscars®) I want Glen and Marketa to perform the song, without any weird interpretive dance number. Trust me, the song doesn’t need unitard wearing dancers to make anyone understand what’s going on. And the second thing I want is for the song to win. It deserves it, because it made the movie, not the other way around.

Now as we get ready for the roller coaster ride to the red carpet, rent the film “For Your Consideration”, the Christopher Guest & Company film about the hype behind awards season. It’s a terrifically funny film and I, for one, wish I could see “Home for Purim”. Hollywood air kisses everyone!

Let There Be Light

Have you ever done something pretty simple but you were so inordinately proud of yourself? That’s how I’m feeling. I changed a light switch this weekend. Yes, I turned the electricity off first, I’m not that stupid. It was a seventy-eight cent part, I learned how to do it with instructions off the internet and it took me about fifteen minutes to do the job (thirty minutes if you count the trip to Lowe’s to buy the new switch.) And voila, there was a beautiful new light switch that turned the lights on and off - the old switch only turned them on about forty percent of the time. I showed everyone my new light switch and they all feigned great impression with my job, sort of like you give a short bus riding child when they accomplish some minor feat like tying their shoelaces even thought they are already in the sixth grade. But considering I saved myself about a hundred bucks in electrician fees to do the same job, I’m darned proud of myself. Next up, re-sealing the refridgerator!

The Endless Cold

Have you ever had a cold that never went away? That’s how I’m feeling right now. I am on day eleven of this cold. I felt really crappy the first weekend, then just cruddy for the last week. Never getting much better, never getting much worse. I think I’m better, then the cough starts up again, or the cough goes away then the head congestion starts again. I’ve tried Airborne, Zicam, NyQuil, Musinex, orange juice, chicken soup, hot tea, 7-Up, Vicks Vapo-Rub and the power of positive thinking. The only thing that helps is resting a lot, but short of a coma, I have a life I need to tend to. Everyday I think that I should wake up and feel a lot better and everyday when I wake up I feel maybe 1/10th of a percent better. It’s like watching a file download from the internet over a dial up connection. You think, “hey, only 8 seconds more and it’ll be done”, then when you look again the estimated time is 47 hours and you’re wondering how the hell that happened. Ugh. Pardon me while I go hack up a lung. Meanwhile we can send people into space but we can’t cure the rhinovirus? I know where I want my tax dollars spent. But until then, I’m going back to bed. A nice long coma, er nap, sounds good right now.

New Year's Resolutions That Can Change the World

Every year we make New Year’s Resolutions, most of which are broken long before Martin Luther King Day. And the worst part is that most of these resolutions are purely selfish - “I’ll lose weight so I look good” or “I’ll quit smoking so I don’t get lung cancer. Well, I’m going to make some New Year’s resolutions that not only can I keep for more than 2 weeks, but could possibly benefit the entire planet. Yup, I’m that good!

1. I will try to cover my mouth whenever I cough or sneeze, thereby protecting the planet from a possible pandemic which could potentially decimate the world’s population. (You’re welcome.)

2. I will vote whenever possible, and potentially be responsible for electing a leader who can create lasting and effective change. (Stop laughing, it could happen.)

3. I will continue to buy cheap goods from third world countries, helping to support a global economy and feeling good knowing that while I am possibly buying goods made by small children in foreign sweat shops, at least I kept a few of them out of the international sex trade. (I made be made a saint.)

4. I will invest my resources in companies that support efforts to fight homelessness, support global communication and promote renewable energy. (Right now those companies are my landlord, the phone company and the power company.)

5. I will, if possible, allow myself to be bitten by a radioactive spider, so that I am transformed into a crime fighting superhero. (I live in Southern Nevada, near a Nuclear Test Site and Nuclear Waste Repository, this may not be as difficult as in might seem.)

There you have it, my resolutions for world change. Now I’m going to take a nap and conserve my energy for the greater good.

Sage-free is okay!

So I had to cook a sage-free Thanksgiving due to Roberta's allergy to the herb. I was concerned, most especially for the stuffing. But I made my own poultry seasoning and it was delicious. I have given the recipe below, you could also add rubbed sage for a more traditional taste.

2 tsp. Rosemary

1 Tbsp. Thyme

2 tsp. Marjoram

1 Tbsp. Savory

1 tsp. celery seed

1 tsp. black pepper

1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper

1/4 tsp. cloves

Grind together in a spice grinder or with a mortar and pestle.

We also had Bourbon Sweet Potatoes, which was a Rachel Ray recipe (and you know how I feel about Rachel Ray but they were delicious in spite of her!). Picture is of the spread (forgive the bad lighting, I took it with my cell phone)

Good Golly

I read USA Weekend yesterday and they talked about Marcel Desaulnier's new cookbook and about how easy and delicious his "Golly Polly's Doodles" were. But no recipe! I was so disappointed. Then this morning I looked at my friend Patti's blog and there was the recipe! Patti, you ROCK! So here is is and I'll report back as to how they are when I make them.

Yield: 17 cookies

Dough:

1 1⁄2 cups all-purpose flour

1⁄2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1⁄2 teaspoon baking powder

1⁄2 teaspoon salt

8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, cut into 1-tablespoon pieces and softened

3⁄4 cup granulated sugar

1⁄4 cup creamy peanut butter

1 large egg1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Filling:

1⁄4 cup creamy peanut butter

1⁄4 cup confectioners' sugar

1. Preheat the oven to 375°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment or wax paper.

2. In a sifter, combine the flour, cocoa, baking powder, and salt. Sift onto a large piece of parchment or wax paper.

3. Place the softened butter, 1/2 cup of the granulated sugar, and the 1/4 cup peanut butter in the bowl of a stand electric mixer fitted with a paddle. Mix on low for 1 minute, then on medium for 1 minute more. Stop and scrape down the sides of the bowl and the paddle. Mix on medium-high for 1 minute. Scrape down again.

4. Add the egg and vanilla and beat on medium for 30 seconds; scrape down again once they have been incorporated. Turn the mixer down to low and gradually add the dry ingredients; mix until incorporated, about 30 seconds. Remove the bowl from the mixer, and use a rubber spatula or your hands to finish mixing the ingredients until thoroughly combined. Chill the dough in the refrigerator while making the filling. (Do not keep the dough in the refrigerator for more than 20 minutes; otherwise, the dough will be difficult to form into the desired shape.)

5. Place the 1/4 cup peanut butter and the confectioners' sugar in a clean bowl of a stand electric mixer fitted with a paddle. Mix on low for 20 seconds, then beat on medium for 10 seconds. Remove the bowl from the mixer, and use a rubber spatula to finish mixing until the ingredients are thoroughly combined. Portion 17 level teaspoons of the filling onto a piece of parchment or wax paper. Roll each portion into a smooth, round ball.

6. Using 1 heaping tablespoon or 1 level #50 ice-cream scoop, portion 17 pieces of dough. Roll each portion of dough into a smooth round ball, then flatten each ball in the palm of your hand into a 3-inch-diameter circle. Using your thumb, make a small indentation in the center of the dough. Place a filling ball in the indentation, then fold the dough around the filling and roll it into a smooth, round ball. Roll the balls in the remaining 1/4 cup granulated sugar to lightly coat.

7. Place the Doodles on the prepared baking sheet about 1 inch apart width wise and 2 inches apart lengthwise. Bake on the center rack of the preheated oven for 6 minutes (that's right-just 6 minutes), until barely firm. (Over baking will cause these cookies to become hard.) Remove the cookies from the oven and transfer to a wire rack to cool to room temperature. Store in a tightly sealed plastic container.

Thanksgiving Challenged

Normally I make an excellent Thanksgiving dinner. Beautifully roasted turkey, a moist and flavorful bread stuffing, gravy from homemade turkey stock and pumpkin pie to die for, with real (not canned) pumpkin. And I’ve been making this meal for years, so it’s a snap, right? I was even going to change it up a little, making sweet potato ravioli with browned sage butter (see recipe in a previous post).

My brother and Val are visiting Val’s family for Thanksgiving so it’s just going to be me, Mom, Gram, my uncle Stuart and his girlfriend, Roberta. Only 5 people so it’s a cinch, hardly anything at all. Then last night my uncle leaves me a message, asking what time dinner is, what do they need to bring, etc. And at the end he tells me that Roberta is allergic to sage, so I need to make accommodations for her.

No sage?!? In a Thanksgiving dinner? But there is sage in the stuffing (just try to find poultry seasoning that doesn’t contain sage, I dare you). And I make an herb butter to inject the turkey with (yup, sage in that). And the Browned Sage Butter DEFINITELY contains sage.

Now I’m the first one to understand what it’s like to have a food allergy. I’m allergic to caffeine (as most all of my friends know) and I’m used to drinking water, never ordering tea out and passing up the “Coca-cola cake” on the buffet table. I even question waiters relentlessly as to what kind of rootbeer their restaurant serves (Barq’s has caffeine, Mug and A&W don’t). So I understand and I’m very sympathetic. I will do all I can to keep Roberta safe. No sage shall even enter the house, lest she come into contact with it! But it’s definitely going to be a challenge.

Okay, so my herb butter will be sage-less and I’ll make my own poultry seasoning for the stuffing. It’s back to the drawing board for the sweet potato portion of the meal. I’m sure it will all be fine, this just threw a bit of a wrench in my plans, that’s all (okay, a really BIG wrench, but we’ll adjust)

Confession time…for the past few years I have been using store bought pie crusts for my pumpkin pie. I know, and I’m ashamed. But the Marie Calendar’s brand is pretty good and I’m not a huge crust fan so it really doesn’t matter to me. But a co-worker’s wife is attending pastry school at Le Cordon Bleu and she sent in a pumpkin pie (I love you Jocelyn!). The filling was good (not quite as good as mine since she used canned pumpkin and it had ginger in it which my family doesn’t like, and I agree, ginger is too strong against the subtle pumpkin flavor). But the crust was phenomenal. And I don’t like crust all that well. But this was flaky, crisp and just ever so slightly sweet. Gosh it was good. Now I used to make pie crust all the timeand it was pretty good, but nothing like this. So I’m going to make pie crust for the first time in years. I googled away and couldn’t find anything that specifically said it was Le Cordon Bleu’s recipe but I found one by a Cordon Bleu trained pastry chef and the recipe does contain sugar so I’m going to try it.

Here is the timeline for this week’s dinner.

Saturday night – stew down pumpkins (ask and maybe I’ll teach you my secret method!)
Sunday – make stock for gravy.
Monday – make cranberry sauce (not only is it delicious with dinner, but put some over cream cheese and serve with Ritz crackers as an appetizer, yum)
Tuesday – grocery store, make herb injection
Wednesday – bake pies, rolls, prep vegetables for stuffing, make mashed potatoes
Thursday – make the stuffing, stuff and roast turkey, make gravy, whip cream, collapse.

I’ll let you know how it goes!

Me, Meatballs and the Ikea Holy Grail

To most of the world, shopping at Ikea is no big deal. For someone who was born and raised in Las Vegas, Nevada (an Ikea-less zone) it was a revelation and my newest obsession.

To the Ikea uninitiated out there, Ikea is a home store extraordinaire. They have furniture, house wares, cookware, linens, pictures, decorative accessories, toys, even pet beds! The store is a massive two story structure so large that there are arrows directing you which way to go. They provide you with pencils, paper and even measuring tape to take with you as you peruse the displays. You can write down the aisle and bin number of the items you want to pick up in the self serve areas downstairs. You can look at a display and say, “gee, I like that bed, I think I’ll buy it” and write down the bed number. But if you are decorating challenged and you have ever seen a display and thought, “gosh, I wish I could just buy that whole room, I’d take it all”, well at Ikea you can do just that. There is a sticker on the ROOM to tell you how much it is!

If you have never been to an Ikea before and are planning your first visit, allow yourself about 6 hours. Yes, it will take you that long, longer even if you are with someone else. I suppose it is possible, if you have been to the store a bajillion times, to “just run in and pick something up real quick”. It is also possible to visit the Wynn buffet and “just grab a little salad” but it’s not very probable. Plan your visit with ample time to ooh, aah, and exclaim.

They are pretty smart, those Swedes who designed Ikea. They know it takes a long time to really look around, see everything, make decisions, to figure out what will fit where. So they put in a cafeteria style restaurant with delicious food at reasonable prices so that you can fuel up for the buying portion of your visit. There is a pretty limited menu of mostly Swedish inspired dishes with a daily special that runs the gamut depending on the Ikea location. Just trust me, get the Swedish Meatballs. A plate of 15 of them, served with a cream sauce, boiled potatoes and lingonberry sauce is only $4.99 with larger and smaller orders priced accordingly. There was also a luscious looking open faced shrimp sandwich that looked oh, so European (it was just a sliced hard boiled egg topped with shrimp and a dollop of mayo and a sprig of dill on dark bread but you rarely see open faced cold sandwiches in the USA.) The meatballs are small, dense and delicious with a hint of spice and a delicious cream sauce. You can add soup or salad for a dollar more but since I was in a Swedish mood I added a piece of Daim torte, a dessert thingy that looked like caramel and nut torte. It turns out that Daim is a Swedish candy bar with “crisp caramel”. Whatever it was, it was delicious! While it is cafeteria style and you have to bus your won tables, the food is served on real plates with real flatware and real glasses for your beverage in an open, airy window filled place that has a lovely little area to corral the small tykes.

Okay so being in California without a semi-truck to carry my booty back I had to stick to the small stuff, so in my 45 dollar splurge I bought: 8 mirrors, 4 mini mixing bowls, a wastebasket, a dried flower arrangement, 2 candles, a bamboo curtain and a really cute dog butt hook. (No, it’s not a hook to hang a dog from, it’s a hook that looks like the rear end of a dog, with the tail as a hanger.) If I’d had a truck I found 2 bookcases, a wardrobe and a dining set that I loved. I then spent another 15 bucks on a bag of the frozen meatballs, 3 packs of cream sauce mix, a jar of lingonberries and an insulated bag to bring it all home in.

I made a batch of the meatballs on Friday and they were just as delicious as they were at the store. Now I’m obsessed with them. I need more. So if you want to know what I want for Christmas, I want 3 bags of Ikea frozen meatballs and a case of sauce packets. Lingonberries optional. But I’ve been a really good girl this year, so if it’s too much for you to go to Ikea for me, you could just petition the Swedes to put one in Vegas, and I’ll get my own!

Gavin James Bailey

Gavin James Bailey
July 27, 2007 – October 28, 2007

The brightest stars that we can see in the sky are ones that have already burned out. Sometimes people are like that. They are only in our lives for a short amount of time but they shine so much brighter than anyone else. One of these people was a truly remarkable little boy named Gavin Bailey. He was born to giving and devoted parents who loved him very much. And he taught everyone whose lives he touched an incredible amount about strength and courage and resilience and hope.

I think that God chooses parents for a new soul and when He chose Lindsay and Jason to be Gavin’s parents, He certainly knew what He was doing. Not only did He choose parents that would love and support their son during the challenges of his short life, but He also saw to it that Lindsay and Jason would have the love and support that they needed, with a kind and generous and loving family to surround them with. The sheer will of this extended family gave Gavin all that he needed during his time on Earth.

It’s hard to understand the “why” when someone we love is taken from us, but when you see the impact Gavin made in so many lives, of the people who were touched by him even if they never met him, it must be of some comfort to know how truly special he was. To see his mother’s beatific smile as she held her son. To admire his constant patience with all of the things that were going on around him. To respect his family’s quiet perseverance during tough and trying times. And to feel the hope that he inspired with each day of his life.

To find words that can console the family on the loss of such a precious child is nearly impossible. But like the stars that shine in the Heavens, I believe that Gavin will always be with us and around us, guiding our lives with his example of just how much we can affect the lives of others, by being the pure embodiment of Love, and I hope they can find peace knowing his gentle spirit has made such and impact on the world.

Thank you Gavin.

Chicken Stew with Olives and Lemon

Here is another delicious fall recipe, although with the lemon flavors it could be served year round. Add some crusty bread to sop up the tasty sauce and a salad on the side and you have a rustic menu fit for royalty. (And it's low in calories too, less than 400 for a quarter of the recipe.) I know I have a lot of lemon going on lately but it's not as bad as my basil fetish!

1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into large cubes

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoons each salt and freshly ground black pepper, plus more to taste

2 tablespoons olive oil

2 large garlic cloves, minced

1 tablespoon capers, drained and minced

Grated zest and juice of 1 lemon

1/2 cup dry white wine

1 3/4 cups chicken broth

1 pound Yukon Gold potatoes, scrubbed and cut into 3/4-in. cubes

1 package (8 oz.) thawed frozen artichoke hearts, quartered if large

1 cup finely chopped flat-leaf parsley

1 cup pitted medium green olives

Preparation

1. Cut each chicken thigh into 2 or 3 chunks. In a resealable plastic bag, combine flour, salt, and pepper. Add chicken, seal, and shake to coat.
2. Heat oil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Add chicken (discard excess flour) in a single layer and cook, turning once, until browned, 4 to 5 minutes total. Transfer to a plate.
3. Reduce heat to medium. Add garlic, capers, and lemon zest and stir just until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add wine and simmer, scraping up browned bits from bottom of pan, until reduced by half, about 2 minutes. Add broth, potatoes, and chicken and return to a simmer. Lower heat slightly to maintain simmer, cover, and cook 10 minutes.
4. Add artichokes to pot and stir. Cover and cook until potatoes are tender when pierced, 8 to 10 minutes. Stir in parsley, lemon juice to taste, and olives. Season with additional salt and pepper to taste.

Sweet Potato Ravioli with Lemon-Sage Browned Butter

With fall finally upon us (okay people, in Vegas anything under 85 degrees is fall) here is a totally delicious recipe just right for cooler weather.

Don't worry, it's really easy and it's even good for you! (I got the recipe from the October issue of Cooking Light)

I cooked the sweet potato in the microwave the night before I made this dish. I also used a white sweet potato but it would have looked better with an orange one (labeled 'yams' in the supermarket).

I served it with cider braised greens and ham for a gourmet but still healthy and delicious twist on soul food. Enjoy!


Ingredients
1 (1-pound) sweet potato
2 tablespoons grated fresh Parmesan cheese
1/2 teaspoon salt, divided
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
24 wonton wrappers
1 large egg white, lightly beaten
6 quarts water
3 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon chopped fresh sage
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Preparation

Preheat oven to 400°.
Pierce potato several times with a fork; place on a foil-lined baking sheet. Bake at 400° for 40 minutes or until tender. Cool. (This is where I just microwaved) Peel potato; mash. Combine potato, cheese, 1/4 teaspoon salt and nutmeg in a small bowl.
Working with 1 wonton wrapper at a time (cover remaining wrappers with a damp towel to keep them from drying), spoon 1 tablespoon potato mixture into center of each wrapper. Brush edges of dough with egg white; bring 2 opposite corners to center. Press edges together to seal, forming a triangle. Repeat procedure with remaining wonton wrappers, potato filling, and egg white.
Bring 6 quarts water to a boil. Add 8 ravioli; cook 2 minutes or until done. Remove ravioli from pan with a slotted spoon. Lightly coat cooked wontons with cooking spray; keep warm. Repeat procedure with remaining ravioli.
Melt butter in a small skillet over high heat. Add chopped sage to pan; cook 1 minute or until butter is lightly browned. Stir in remaining 1/4 teaspoon salt, juice, and pepper. Drizzle butter mixture over ravioli.

Last Ever Lemon Bars

Okay, we went on a picnic yesterday and I made these lemon bars. My friend Patti gave me the recipe (which she got from the Barefoot Contessa). She promised me that they were perfect, with a thick, lemon curd-like filling, and she was almost right. I have tweaked the final recipe just a tad to make adjustments for my taste buds. I though the original recipe was a little too tangy (although my family disagree) so I cut back on the lemon juice and zest just a tad and added a bit of butter to the filling for an even more curd-like consistency. These are only a little more work than the traditional lemon bar recipe but so worth it for a much better bar. And if you like it really lemony, increase the lemon juice to 1 cup and zest to 2 tablespoons.

For the crust:

1/2 pound unsalted butter at room temperature

1/2 cup granulated sugar2 cups flour

1/8 t. kosher salt

For the filling:

6 eggs

2 Tbsp. melted butter

3 cups granulated sugar

1 T. grated lemon zest

3/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice (4-5 lemons)

1 cup flour

Confectioners sugar for dusting

Preheat oven to 350. For the crust, cream the butter and sugar until light. Combine flour with salt and add to butter until just mixed. Dump dough onto well-floured board and gather into a ball. Flatten with well-floured hands and press into 9 x 13 baking sheet, building up a 1 inch edge on all sides. Chill. Bake crust for 15 to 20 minutes until very lightly browned. Let cool on wire rack. Leave oven on.

For the filling, whisk together eggs, butter, sugar, lemon zest, lemon juice and flour. Pour over crust and bake for 30 to 35 minutes until the filling is set. Let cool to room temperature. Cut into bars and dust with confectioners sugar.