Happy Valentine's Day or Excuse Me While I Wretch

For those of you in love, Happy Valentine's Day. For those of us that are solo, candy will be half price on Sunday, hang in there.

Each year I eschew Valentine's Day as a made up holiday for the benefit of greeting card companies and candy manufacturers. And I don't think that's actually too far off. Why do we need one day to tell the people we love that we love them? Shouldn't we be doing that like, um, every day?

My dislike of Valentine's Day goes all the way back to elementary school, where some moron decreed that Valentines should be given to classmates and then counted to see who received the most, thereby starting the popularity contest race in kindergarten. It also began my consoling myself with large amounts of Reeses's and M&M's.

My family wasn't sentimental about Valentine's either. My father brought home gifts to commemorate the day ONCE in my whole life. Now I have no doubt that he loved us. He was a brilliant man who worked twelve hour shifts in a steel mill so that he could provide for his family and allow his wife to stay home with her children. But he wasn't exactly Mr. Romance. So when he arrived home with gifts that one February 14th, it stuck out in our minds, because it was unusual. In fact, I didn't know my father knew how to go into a store by himself before that day. (My mother was so surprised by the gesture that she got us all gifts for Easter that year. I'll always remember that year.)

Now I do participate in Valentine's Day, because I love my family and I try to show them as often as I can, and because in my cynical little heart I actually like doing that sort of thing. But I expect (and usually receive) nothing in return. Then I'm not disappointed. But I do love romance so here are some things I'll share with you, to help honor the day.

Watch the "30 Rock" Valentine's episode that aired last night (available on demand online). One of the funniest shows ever and an excellent lesson in why not to eat cheese stew on a first date. Hilarious.

Best Romantic Movies to Snuggle with:

"Pride and Prejudice" - Either version. The Keira Knightly one is so beautifully shot, it's marvelous. But the BBC one with Colin Firth has, well, Colin Firth - Best. Darcy. Ever.

For that matter, anything by or about Jane Austen. That woman had a way with the romance. "Sense and Sensibility", "Persuasion", "Emma", all delicious. Or adaptations like "Bride and Prejudice" (the Bollywood version), "Bridget Jones' Diary" and "Clueless" (based on "Emma", did you know that?). Or try "Becoming Jane" for Austen's own romantic trials. And don't forget "The Jane Austen Book Club"!

"Love Actually" - Great Christmas film, great romantic film.

"While You Were Sleeping" - I have, quite honestly, seen this movie hundreds of times. I can watch it over and over and never get tired of it.

"Dirty Dancing" - Patrick Swayze, dancing, Jerry Orbach, dancing and a heroine that wasn't very pretty (sorry, Jennifer Grey) so those of us less that gifted genetically could actually see that happening to us. I wish someone would take me out of the corner.

"Pretty Woman" - Who would have thought that a movie about a prostitute and a hard nosed corporate raider would be romantic? Leave it to the brilliant Garry Marshall to make it so. I worship at the alter of this comedy legend.

"Return to Me" - I felt the love story, I didn't just watch it. Brilliant. Plus David Duchovny and a killer soundtrack. Kudos to Bonnie Hunt and Don Lake for making this one.

"My Big Fat Greek Wedding" - Pass the gyros and tzadziki, I'm going to that wedding. And John Corbett is so yummy, even though I can't figure out for the life of me why.

"Once" - A romantic movie it might not seem, but a romantic movie it is all the same. And a good one at that.

Best Stuff to Eat/Drink on Valentine's -

See's Chocolate - I'm a cream center kind of girl while everyone else is Nuts and Chews. Either way, you won't be unhappy.

Dreamstone Moscato Sparkling Wine - $7.99 at Fresh and Easy. Light, sweet and bubbly, what more could you ask for?

Freed's Bakery Eclairs - Thank goodness I live nowhere near a Freed's. Because just remembering eating the eclair made me gain two pounds.

Luv It's Frozen Custard - A Las Vegas institution for more than 35 years. It's so worth braving the bad neighborhood. The Desert Sundae (with hot fudge, homemade marshmallow and salted pecans) is the way to go. Do yourself a favor and order the junior size. You can't eat the large one, trust me, you can try but you'll regret it later.

Marie Callendar's Pie - It's no coincidence that Valentine's day falls in February and February is pie month at Marie Callendar's. Don't fight fate, just enjoy it.

Mirin Glazed Salmon - Recipe here.

Best Places to Spend Valentine's Day with your Sweetheart... For Free
Who needs crowded restaurants with overpriced 'special Valentine's menus'? Here are some picks that are romantic and free.

In Bed - Hey, it's free, it's good exercise and nothing says I love you like a little nookie. Sorry if I went PG-13 all of a sudden.

Watching the Fountains at Bellagio - Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman singing "Con Te Partiro", you can't get much more romantic than that. For those of you who don't live in Vegas, here's a video.


Swing Set at Park/Playground/Schoolyard - Remember that funny feeling in your stomach as you soared on the swings? It's a little like the feeling you get when you fall in love. Relive both feelings when you get your significant other to swing with you.


Okay, I just betrayed my wushy-gushy romantic side. Sure, I wish I had a 'romantic' valentine. But I am blessed with love. So while I will spend Valentine's Day with my family (eating the salmon and pie and watching one of the films on the list) I hope you have a wonderful day surrounded by the people and things you love.

Happy Valentine's Day, Loyal Readers. May your day be filled with more sentiment than a Hallmark card commercial, more love than the Democrats have for Obama and more joy than a bag full of peanut butter cups. XXOOGa

I Can't Wait For a Bad Movie

Anyone who knows me knows I love good films. Love them. See them every chance I get. I go to film festivals every chance I get, hoping to discover great films early on. (See gems like "Once", "Introducing the Dwights", "Reprise" or "Neo Ned" for some great examples. All are available on video except "Neo Ned", which you can watch on Netflix's instant viewer. Seriously, see these films.)

I also love "inside jokes." One of my favorite experiences combined the two, in the movie "The Aristocrats". It's a documentary by comedians Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette (of Penn & Teller fame) who got more than a hundred comics to tell the same 'insider' dirty joke. The movie is hysterical (although for the faint of heart, it does contain lots of scatological humor.) I saw this movie when it premiered at Sundance (one of the best movie experiences of my life, I sat next to Leah Rozen, the film critic for People magazine, and I picked her brain) and again when it premiered at CineVegas and thanks to P&T's wonderful publicist/exec Glenn S. Alai, who is a close friend..okay, so he's Tina's close friend which makes him my close friend once removed, got to sit in the VIP section with the likes of legendary comics like Phyllis Diller. I saw the movie several more times at the theater and own it on DVD, not to mention watching it numerous times on cable. I would have loved this film even without the glitz and glamour because as a comic I loved the 'inside joke'.

Now, as much as I love good movies, I like bad ones too. Really bad ones. Not the ones you watch and wish you had those two hours of you life back because the film had no redeeming qualities, but the ones that are so bad that they are kinda good. Of course, that's a quality that is in the eye of the beholder. I love a cheesy 1980's disco film called "Can't Stop the Music" which was terrible but starred the Village People and how can you not love a Village People movie where they sing YMCA in a YMCA with semi naked men around them. It's brilliant and I watched that movie dozens of times when I was a kid, dancing in the living room to the songs (I clearly didn't understand the homoerotic undertone until I was an adult but I still think it has a good beat and I'd dance to it.) One of the reasons I still like this film is that once you get the nuance and understand the background of the Village People (and yes, their sexual persuasion) you get that it was a huge inside joke. (Unfortunately, it took some time for people to appreciate the joke, and it killed Nancy Walker's directing career.) Plus it has the added bonus of a young Steve Guttenberg on roller skates, how much more could you ask for?



So when I read an article in Entertainment Weekly (I check it out at the library, it's a guilty pleasure) about the comedic cult following for a movie called "The Room" (you can read the article here) I wanted to see it. Now. But going to LA for a midnight showing isn't exactly feasible (although I'm up for a road trip if anyone else is game and I love the Laemmle Sunset 5 theater, it's right by the Laugh Factory). But I need to see this film. Apparently it's "Rocky Horror" meets horrible acting, terrible directing and awful writing. Woo Hoo. I am so there. It has garnered the attention of people like Rob Thomas, Paul Rudd, Kristen Bel and David Cross. When people like that, who's talent I respect and admire, tell you a movie is so bad it changed their lives, well that's a movie I need to see. I need to get the 'inside joke' too.

Okay, since I can't go to LA (seriously, road trip anyone? anyone?) I ordered the movie on Amazon. Less than nine dollars and free shipping. It was out of stock but I got an email last night that they got a copy and are shipping it to me this week. I can't wait. This movie has already inspired me, sight unseen, to write my next film. I'm going to have parties showing this film if it truly is what they say it is. I'm stocking up on plastic spoons as we speak. So, wanna come to my house and watch a bad movie? (And to cleanse ourselves, we can watch a good film afterwards.)

For Your Consideration

It’s my favorite time of year, when you root for your favorite, eat all sorts of yummy snacks and lay down odds on the winner. No, I’m not talking about the Superbowl, I’m talking about the Oscars®.

Most years I’ve seen at least half of the nominees. This year I’m batting zero. I haven’t seen a single Best Picture Nominee. I can’t make my predictions. I’ll go this weekend and try to see a couple (probably “Juno” and maybe “Atonement”). But I’m a little surprised at some of the nominations. “Hairspray” failed to receive a single nomination. What was the Academy thinking? Not even for costume or song? “Enchanted” got THREE song nominations?!? C’mon, does Disney own the Academy? I can see one, maybe even two but three of the five? I smell a rat, er, mouse.

Okay, the Academy did get one right. ‘Falling Slowly’ from the film “Once” by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova was nominated for Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original Song). The film was my Number One film of 2007 and this song is amazing. I have it on “The Swell Season” which I rushed out and bought after I saw “Once” at the 2007 Sundance Film Festival. Will and I were lucky to catch a late screening of the film while were at the fest. But the director, John Carney, stopped the film about four minutes in because of sound difficulties. They were going to cancel the screening if they couldn’t fix the sound (it’s a musical movie, sound is überimportant). While we waited for the technicians we were treated to an impromptu acoustic performance by Glen and Marketa. To say it was magical is a true understatement. We then got to watch the film (yay, Mr. Sound Guy!) and then had an encore after the film. Will got to talk to Glen, lead singer for the Irish band The Frames and I chatted with Marketa and got Glen, Marketa and John to sign my ticket. (Yeah, I suppose it is a bit juvenile, but I wanted a momento.) I also have the song on the “Once” soundtrack and on The Frames CD “The Cost”. Oh yeah, it’s also the ringtone on my phone. Can you say obsessed?

Now, if you see the film “Once”, and I really hope you do, you’ll find a charming little movie that breaks every rule of filmmaking. It’s poorly lit, badly shot, minimally scripted and WONDERFUL. The music makes the film and tells the story and that’s why it, and this song, is so good. Music at its best should be evocative and “Falling Slowly” is incredibly evocative. See the movie, then call me and I’ll loan you the CD.

Now, I implore the Academy for two things. If the show goes on (and it should, c’mon WGA and give us the Oscars®) I want Glen and Marketa to perform the song, without any weird interpretive dance number. Trust me, the song doesn’t need unitard wearing dancers to make anyone understand what’s going on. And the second thing I want is for the song to win. It deserves it, because it made the movie, not the other way around.

Now as we get ready for the roller coaster ride to the red carpet, rent the film “For Your Consideration”, the Christopher Guest & Company film about the hype behind awards season. It’s a terrifically funny film and I, for one, wish I could see “Home for Purim”. Hollywood air kisses everyone!