Happy Valentine's Day or Excuse Me While I Wretch

For those of you in love, Happy Valentine's Day. For those of us that are solo, candy will be half price on Sunday, hang in there.

Each year I eschew Valentine's Day as a made up holiday for the benefit of greeting card companies and candy manufacturers. And I don't think that's actually too far off. Why do we need one day to tell the people we love that we love them? Shouldn't we be doing that like, um, every day?

My dislike of Valentine's Day goes all the way back to elementary school, where some moron decreed that Valentines should be given to classmates and then counted to see who received the most, thereby starting the popularity contest race in kindergarten. It also began my consoling myself with large amounts of Reeses's and M&M's.

My family wasn't sentimental about Valentine's either. My father brought home gifts to commemorate the day ONCE in my whole life. Now I have no doubt that he loved us. He was a brilliant man who worked twelve hour shifts in a steel mill so that he could provide for his family and allow his wife to stay home with her children. But he wasn't exactly Mr. Romance. So when he arrived home with gifts that one February 14th, it stuck out in our minds, because it was unusual. In fact, I didn't know my father knew how to go into a store by himself before that day. (My mother was so surprised by the gesture that she got us all gifts for Easter that year. I'll always remember that year.)

Now I do participate in Valentine's Day, because I love my family and I try to show them as often as I can, and because in my cynical little heart I actually like doing that sort of thing. But I expect (and usually receive) nothing in return. Then I'm not disappointed. But I do love romance so here are some things I'll share with you, to help honor the day.

Watch the "30 Rock" Valentine's episode that aired last night (available on demand online). One of the funniest shows ever and an excellent lesson in why not to eat cheese stew on a first date. Hilarious.

Best Romantic Movies to Snuggle with:

"Pride and Prejudice" - Either version. The Keira Knightly one is so beautifully shot, it's marvelous. But the BBC one with Colin Firth has, well, Colin Firth - Best. Darcy. Ever.

For that matter, anything by or about Jane Austen. That woman had a way with the romance. "Sense and Sensibility", "Persuasion", "Emma", all delicious. Or adaptations like "Bride and Prejudice" (the Bollywood version), "Bridget Jones' Diary" and "Clueless" (based on "Emma", did you know that?). Or try "Becoming Jane" for Austen's own romantic trials. And don't forget "The Jane Austen Book Club"!

"Love Actually" - Great Christmas film, great romantic film.

"While You Were Sleeping" - I have, quite honestly, seen this movie hundreds of times. I can watch it over and over and never get tired of it.

"Dirty Dancing" - Patrick Swayze, dancing, Jerry Orbach, dancing and a heroine that wasn't very pretty (sorry, Jennifer Grey) so those of us less that gifted genetically could actually see that happening to us. I wish someone would take me out of the corner.

"Pretty Woman" - Who would have thought that a movie about a prostitute and a hard nosed corporate raider would be romantic? Leave it to the brilliant Garry Marshall to make it so. I worship at the alter of this comedy legend.

"Return to Me" - I felt the love story, I didn't just watch it. Brilliant. Plus David Duchovny and a killer soundtrack. Kudos to Bonnie Hunt and Don Lake for making this one.

"My Big Fat Greek Wedding" - Pass the gyros and tzadziki, I'm going to that wedding. And John Corbett is so yummy, even though I can't figure out for the life of me why.

"Once" - A romantic movie it might not seem, but a romantic movie it is all the same. And a good one at that.

Best Stuff to Eat/Drink on Valentine's -

See's Chocolate - I'm a cream center kind of girl while everyone else is Nuts and Chews. Either way, you won't be unhappy.

Dreamstone Moscato Sparkling Wine - $7.99 at Fresh and Easy. Light, sweet and bubbly, what more could you ask for?

Freed's Bakery Eclairs - Thank goodness I live nowhere near a Freed's. Because just remembering eating the eclair made me gain two pounds.

Luv It's Frozen Custard - A Las Vegas institution for more than 35 years. It's so worth braving the bad neighborhood. The Desert Sundae (with hot fudge, homemade marshmallow and salted pecans) is the way to go. Do yourself a favor and order the junior size. You can't eat the large one, trust me, you can try but you'll regret it later.

Marie Callendar's Pie - It's no coincidence that Valentine's day falls in February and February is pie month at Marie Callendar's. Don't fight fate, just enjoy it.

Mirin Glazed Salmon - Recipe here.

Best Places to Spend Valentine's Day with your Sweetheart... For Free
Who needs crowded restaurants with overpriced 'special Valentine's menus'? Here are some picks that are romantic and free.

In Bed - Hey, it's free, it's good exercise and nothing says I love you like a little nookie. Sorry if I went PG-13 all of a sudden.

Watching the Fountains at Bellagio - Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman singing "Con Te Partiro", you can't get much more romantic than that. For those of you who don't live in Vegas, here's a video.


Swing Set at Park/Playground/Schoolyard - Remember that funny feeling in your stomach as you soared on the swings? It's a little like the feeling you get when you fall in love. Relive both feelings when you get your significant other to swing with you.


Okay, I just betrayed my wushy-gushy romantic side. Sure, I wish I had a 'romantic' valentine. But I am blessed with love. So while I will spend Valentine's Day with my family (eating the salmon and pie and watching one of the films on the list) I hope you have a wonderful day surrounded by the people and things you love.

Happy Valentine's Day, Loyal Readers. May your day be filled with more sentiment than a Hallmark card commercial, more love than the Democrats have for Obama and more joy than a bag full of peanut butter cups. XXOOGa

Maybe Instead of Johnny Cash, He Should Have Sung Patsy Cline...Crazy

Sorry I haven't written much this week, I have been working my little fingers to the bone writing other projects. But I had to share this video with you. I don't know much about being a celebrity (yet) but I'm pretty sure this is what NOT to do when you are on The David Letterman Show. Please, Jaoquin, get some help. You don't want to pull a River.



Don't mess with Letterman, that's all I'm saying. Worldwide Pants can be your best friend (ask Bonnie Hunt) or your worst enemy (ask Farrah Fawcett.) Personally, I want to stay on Dave's good side.

Lot's of people think this was a hoax, a la Andy Kaufman. I hope for Joaquin's sake it was, but if it was, it so wasn't funny. And if I was one of the producers on the film he was promoting, I'd be pissed. Yuck it up on your own time, but don't disrespect the film you are in, that clearly Letterman thought was good. I think he was on something, but that's because I never thought he was that great an actor to begin with (don't shoot the messenger. It's just my opinion.)

Talk Show Rules

Okay, I learned a lot from watching the premiere of The Bonnie Hunt Show yesterday. It looks like it has the potential to be a great show and really a lot of fun. She's definitely paying homage to some of the great shows of old like The Dean Martin Show, The Mike Douglas Show and others. It may take her a while to segue into a better host than guest but I think she's on the right path as long as she focuses on entertainment. But she has to follow some rules...

Rule #1
If you have Robin Williams on as a guest, don't do anything but wind him up and let him go. He was like an ADHD kid on pixie sticks. Hysterically funny. ("What's the French version of "Anne Frank"? She's upstairs!") But Bonnie kept trying to throw in a zinger of her own now and then and he totally stomped on her lines, talked over her and was pretty Robin Williams like. As the host, you need to know when to talk to draw your guests out more, but if they don't need drawing out then just lay back and let them do their thing.

Rule #2
See rule #1. Joe Mantegna "surprised" her by showing up with a heart shaped pizza. (Okay, does anyone really buy that she's surprised. The guy had enough sandwiches for a studio audience and had to get past security for cryin' out loud, no body thinks he 'just dropped by'. Pu-leez). Now Joe might have been an interesting interview but we'll never know because Robin was still in a manic phase and walked all over whatever Joe might have been saying. Wait until Robin is gone, preferably escorted off set by several large security guards, before you let the next guest come out. (Side note, I think it would be weird to be married to Robin. Aside from being only slightly less hairy than Sasquatch, he has to just go catatonic at some point after all that manic energy.)

Rule #3
If you are going to do the "kids say the funniest things" bit, please keep them to less than three minutes. After that, it wears a bit thin. Same rule applies to all family members and pets.

I think this show is going to be awesome, as soon as Bonnie hits her stride. Anyone who liked "Life with Bonnie" will like this show, as it's just a version of the 'show within a show'. Holly Wortell is even on, I'm not sure what character she's playing but I expect to see her evolve too. Check your local listing for channel and show times.

My Friend Bonnie

In my never ending quest to promote the things and people I love, today we are going to talk about my 'friend' Bonnie Hunt.

Yes, I used the showbiz term friend. I've actually never met Bonnie but I feel like we have known each other for years. You know her, too. Sure you do. If you've seen a movie in the last fifteen years, you've seen Bonnie. She plays a lot of supporting rolls and she does it well. She played Tom Hanks' wife in The Green Mile, Renee Zellweger's sister in Jerry Macguire, the mom in the Cheaper by the Dozen movies with Steve Martin (which bear no resemblance to the beloved novel of the same name but that's a different story.)

I love Bonnie because she is fresh and funny. But she isn't some over the top caricature. She's warm and real and you feel like she's that funny older sister you could tell all of your secrets to. I first saw her in the very funny but very short lived television series "Grand". Since then I've followed her through a variety of television series' (including the Emmy nominated but also short lived "Life With Bonnie", where the 'Smellgaway' leather couch will be forever one of my favorite bits of all time) and movies. She's on of the few actors around that I'd follow anywhere. Talented and smart and she surrounds herself with other talented and smart people. Wait, why haven't I met her yet?

Bonnie co-wrote, directed and starred in my favorite romantic comedy of all time, Return to Me. If you are a romantic comedy fan and you haven't seen this film, you need to run, RUN, to your video store and rent it. It is a fantastic film, sweet, funny, romantic and beautiful. It tugs at your heartstrings but in a natural, easy way. David Duchovny and Minnie Driver are awesome, and Carol O'Connor made me wish he was my Grandpa. Great supporting cast, including the beautiful city of Chicago and one of the coolest soundtracks around, featuring Joey Gian (former Star Search winner and frequent Las Vegas performer.)

Okay, I feel an affinity for Bonnie because we share the same birthday (but Bonnie is older, sorry Bonnie) and because she has done so many things that I'm envious of. But I support her in all her endeavors because she strikes me as a person who works very hard for what she has accomplished. She also used to be an oncology nurse and I figure that makes her just short of 'angel' in my book.

Bonnie has a new talk show premiering September 8th (my brother Will's birthday). It looks like it's going to be fabulous (after all this is the woman who has been called the "best talk show guest" so she knows how to give good interview.) Plus she's so real and honest that I'm sure she'll bring out the best in whomever she's interviewing. Check out this promo for her show.



The Bonnie Hunt Show will run in syndication so check here for your local station and showtime. I'm so glad that there is going to be something on besides Judge shows and Dr. Phil. Thank God for Bonnie, it'll get the bad taste of Rachel Ray out of my mouth.

Okay, end of shameless shilling for one of my favorite talents. Give the show a chance to shine and rent Return to Me. I think I'll watch it again this afternoon!

Sunday, Sunday

Okay, so Sunday is my day to get very little accomplished. I got no writing done...zero, zip, zilch. I read the paper, went to Best Buy where I spent money I shouldn't have (but my justification is that I had a gift certificate) had lunch with my family (a lovely little meal at Ruby Tuesday's, one of the few places where the salad bar still exists, and quite a nice one!) then spent the afternoon playing Wii, munching on the apricot torte from Trader Joe's (a la mode, of course) and then capped it off by watching a few Netflix movies.

Now I thought when I quit my job I would have lots of time to watch lots of movies. My plan was to go to the movies every Friday and watch at least six Netflix rentals a week. All of which is to be categorized under research, of course, since I am a screenwriter. Well, I haven't been to the theater at all and have watched a total of six movies. Yes, that's right, I have watched less movies since I quit that I did when I was working. Which makes me happy that I'm not sitting around watching movies instead of working but sad because I love movies. So have to get my butt in gear and do some watching! You can't write commercial schlock if you don't see what schlock is out there (remember, I aspire to be a hack).

So this weekend I watched all of my Netflix movies, one that I have had for over a month (the others I just mailed back, unwatched). First was "Dan in Real Life", starring Steve Carrel of The Office. Lovely, sweet little movie if you can get past the slight ick factor of brothers sleeping with the same woman. But other than that it's charming and I want to marry into a large Kennedy-esque clan that plays touch football in a cape type setting. It looked like so much fun to be in a big family with a talent show night. (I don't know anyone who does that in real life, but it looked idyllic.) I definitely recommend you see this film.

Next was "August Rush". Just go into it knowing it's a fairy tale in a modern setting. Completely unbelievable in every way. The music was awesome and you get to see Jonathan Rhys Myers (see previous post) looking hot, brooding a lot and singing (he was surprisingly quite good). You also get to see Kerri Russell looking doe-eyed and mostly moving zombie like through the film ("Waitress" was a much better example of her acting talents.) A nice turn from Robin Williams as the evil 'Fagin' type character and the kid who played Evan/August was really good although I would have directed his performance a bit differently.

Finally, "I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With". I wanted to like this movie, I did. It got decent reviews. And I love Chicago/Second City people (Chicago is second only to Boston on my comedy scale). I adore Bonnie Hunt, adore her. "Return to Me" is one of my favorite films and I have been a faithful follower of hers forever (anyone else remember "Davis Rules"? of "The Bonnie Hunt Show"? or "The Building"? I didn't think so) and we share the same birth date (she's older). So when I saw that she was in it I was willing to watch even if it meant sitting through Sarah Silverman playing the same creepy crazy girl she has been typecast into (or maybe she is just a creepy crazy girl). And I like Jeff Garlin and the rest of the Second City cast he brought along with him (he wrote and directed and starred). And I wanted to like this film about a chubby actor living with his mom and not dating much (hmmm, why do I relate?). But his character came off as a bit unsympathetic and sad. There were some moments of sheer brilliance - a remake of the Ernest Borgnine classic "Marty" starring Aaron Carter and Gina Gershon, big hoot! and the part with Poncho Boy was too funny. But I wanted more from the character than he wanted for himself. So I guess what I'm saying was that the side bits were funnier than the whole. I give it a 'watch it on cable' recommend. When you do watch it, grab a tub of tapioca. And people, hire Bonnie Hunt more, she's terrific!

Now about the Wii. I love the Wii (see this post) and I can't wait for the Wii Fit. But we needed some new games so I bought Game Party (don't bother) and Mario Kart. Yes, the one with the Wii wheel. Okay, can I just say my thumbs hurt? And I crashed like a million times. My brother is pretty good, my sister-in-law to be Val is really good and my mother was hysterical to watch as she crashed, bumped, got turned around and basically sucked. It was so much fun. I practiced a bit more last night and I think I might some day get to the point where I don't embarrass myself, as long as I don't play against anyone under thirty. If you don't already have a Wii, get one. They are so much fun, no matter what your age - heck Grandma is 87 and she plays with it!