I'm In Love With A Dead Guy

At least that's what my Mom says. I have been reading the works of Dalton Trumbo lately and she might be right.

For those that don't know, Trumbo was on of the "Hollywood Ten", a group of writer's who were blacklisted in the 1940's and 1950's for being suspected communists. A victim of the McCarthy era politics, Trumbo was imprisoned, impoverished and scorned for belonging to a political party he joined only for a few years and quit because be found the meetings were pointless and about as radical as Wednesday church readings.

Trumbo was an amazing novelist, screenwriter, poet, dramatist and intellectual. He went from making $75,000 a script to around $1,000 a script when blacklisted. He took many writing assignments during the blacklist just to feed his family, and could even turn out a script with a fellow blacklistee in less than 10 days (in days before fax and computer, they couriered the script back and forth. Trumbo often wrote dialogue for scenes that he didn't even know what was going to happen next in the story because that hadn't been couriered to him yet.) Trumbo and many of the other blacklistees were even nominated for Academy Awards under pseudonyms (Trumbo won in 1956 under the name Robert Rich for The Brave One)

While his novels and screenplays are, in my opinion, genius, it is not for these I fell in love with him. It is a book called "Additional Dialogue: Letters of Dalton Trumbo 1942-1962" that has me entranced. Copies of letters and excerpts of letters Trumbo wrote during that time give great insight into the man and what he was experiencing. It is also evidence of a truly great writer.

The art of correspondence has been lost, I'm afraid, amongst illiterate voice mails, tweets and test messages. But reading Trumbo's letters is a glimpse of a bygone era, when great men wrote great letters. Trumbo's letters are brilliant, with acerbic wit, cutting humor, charming affection for his wife and children, desperate appeals, and amazing insights. Let me tell you, that man could write a complaint letter that was basically an 'eff you' and make it sound incredibly erudite and humorous. I have laughed out loud, worried and fretted over situations and feel as though I have been formally introduced to his friends and family. (Mitzi, if you are ever in Vegas, call me, we'll do lunch.)

Now for the bad news and my appeal to you Loyal Readers. I got this book at the library, and they had to pull it from storage for me. I need to own this book, but internet searches have only revealed a few copies priced over $100. A little beyond my current used book budget. It will remain my life's mission to own a copy of this book. So if you are ever browsing a used book store and run across a copy (hardback or paperback, I'm not picky) and it is under $50, please purchase it for me and I will reimburse you. And if you ever get the chance to read it, please do so. No matter what your political beliefs this is an intimate look into a piece of history. And he was a professional baker for a while too, can you see why I love him? Of course, he's a dead guy who looked a lot like my grandfather, but he's still my literary dream man.

Oh, and the next time you watch Spartucus and see that famous scene where the slaves all proclaim "I am Spartucus!" ... Trumbo wrote that (based on the book by Howard Fast, gotta give credit, even though Trumbo himself was originally credited as Sam Jackson because he was still blacklisted.)

Week Two

Despite a challenging week (have you ever made 150 cupcakes without eating even one? I can now say that I have!) where I fell way short of my exercise goals, I lost a respectable two pounds. But I know I could have done better and am redoubling my efforts this week.

I think probably the most important thing for me is to remember that when you don't do as well as you want or you 'fall off the wagon', you need to continue right on with your plans and not make the little slips a permanent slide. I know I have been craving fast food like crazy and was so tempted, even trying to come up with ways to justify why I should have some. For some people they just call it will power and move on, but for those of us with compulsive eating issues, it isn't just will power. It's so much more complicated. But again, the point is to keep at it, moment by moment.

On the cleaning front, 31 in 31 is going really well. I got rid of dozens of magazines and cleaned out the Christmas sweaters from the trunk of my car, plus other accumulated junk in my car so I am up to 24, with still lots of time left. Who knows, I may exceed 31 in 31. Thanks Maura!

Orders are stacking up for Valentine's Day and I've got lots of orders to go out this week so I better get to the bakery. Have a great Martin Luther King Day, Loyal Readers!

Best Popcorn Maker. Ever.

I like popcorn. But when you are eating healthier, you have to watch popcorn for its hidden dangers. Like movie theater popcorn that has a zillion calories and it topped with buttery flavored oil. Or even microwave popcorn with its cancer agent butter flavor. But for me, hot air popcorn was not an option. Hot air popcorn always tasted stale and yucky to me. But now that it has been discovered that popcorn has as many polyphenols as red wine (not to mention low in calories and high in fiber), we wanted to eat more popcorn.

Since my mom wanted a hot air popper, I went looking for one. After checking several stores in my area with no luck, I went to my trusty Amazon. While reading up on different poppers, I noticed a microwave popper that seemed to be more than just a plastic bowl with a lid. Called the Presto PowerPop Microwave Popcorn Maker, it was a plastic bowl with a lid, but had two extra features. A black plastic base on the bottom that acts as a concentrator to heat the popcorn and another concentrator on the inside that's a disposable cup in silver, like those crisping sleeves on Hot Pockets.

I bought this model because it was small, easy to use, inexpensive and my mom had mentioned making popcorn in the microwave. I also got it because it said that it could be used with or without oil and I figured Mom could use it without oil and I could use it with (the inner concentrator cup is good for 12 batches if you use oil or 24 batches if you don't.)

We made our first batch without oil to test it out and I was amazed. It popped more quickly than most microwave popcorn and came out light, fluffy and perfectly popcorny. Since I HATE burned popcorn and therefore shut the oven off probably before I should, we did have some unpopped kernels but I get that with any microwave popcorn. What I think made this popcorn so good (and different from hot air poppers) was the steam that built up inside the popper made the corn taste fresh and moist, not dried up and stale, It was so good that I kew I didn't need to use any oil after all.

Of course I love butter on popcorn but since I would drown it in butter if I could and that's not exactly diet friendly, I spritz mine with "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" spray and sprinkle with popcorn salt. It's a notch below where real butter is but for almost no additional calories, it's an acceptable substitute. You could also sprinkle with herbs, parmesan cheese, etc.

So the next time you are looking for a new popcorn maker, check out the PowerPop. I totally recommend it. Delivers as promised, easy to use, quick and at less than twenty bucks a great value. It comes with eight of the inner cups which if you make nearly daily popcorn without oil should last you nearly eight months but you can buy more for about four dollars for a pack of eight. You can use any kind of popcorn in it (I bought some gourmet 'mushroom' style popcorn which is great except for it has a TON of hulls. Just a warning.) and it cleans up easily. Go get poppin'!

If It Quacks Like A Duck

Then it must be...duck fat fries.

Duck fat fries have been around a while at the fancy restaurants but while I have heard how superb they are, I haven't gotten to eat one. There are restaurants in Las Vegas that serve them but most are pricy places on the strip that are a bit beyond my budget. But for Christmas I asked for a few gourmet ingredients so that I could play with them in my own cooking. I asked for truffle oil and duck fat. My mom doesn't drive much so she just gave me cash to buy the myself. I could have ordered them online but the shipping costs would eat up most of the budget given. So I looked around town (I mean, c'mon, Vegas has to have this stuff, right?)

First I decided that perhaps I wanted truffle butter instead of truffle oil. The butter has way more truffles in it that the oil does (some of the oils contain no truffle at all). I saw the truffle butter at Whole Foods, even in the tiny location by my house, so I am fairly confident I will be able to pick it up when I want to use it.

Right before Christmas when I was shopping with Val I saw they carried duck fat too, in the deli case. So last week, when I read a recipe in Cooking Light (yes, Cooking Light) for a dish called "Poutine" - a pile of duck fat fries covered in a sausage gravy and topped with cheese curds - I knew I wanted, no, NEEDED to get the duck fat. So I headed to Whole Foods, where there was no duck fat left and the two rather rude employees I asked about it were either unable or unwilling to help me find out if they would get more in. Sadness descended upon me.

On Sunday we went out to breakfast and to a new grocery store in the valley, Glazier's, which is a trek from our house but, since we all wanted to go, we made an outing of it. (There is a Home Goods in the same shopping center and I found a great display platter for photographs of products for the website and Mom found a wonderful picture to hang in the living room.) It is a great market with lots of interesting things (and if you are from the East Coast they have lots of products that are hard to find out west, like Wise potato chips and Tastycakes). They had lots of 'gourmet foods' at reasonable prices (Tina, if you are reading this, they had your smoked duck readily available) but alas, no duck fat.

Finally, yesterday, since I had to head over to Kelly's to pick up some screeners I decided to make one last effort and try "The Butcher's Block", a small specialty butcher shop nowhere near my house. When I went in I thought I recognized the owner from when I worked at the grocery store in college. He said he did indeed work for the same grocery chain I did at the same time. After I left though, I think it was actually when I worked at Treasure Island that I remember him from. Either way, small world. He did indeed carry the duck fat and scooped me out a half pound. (Eight ounces cost me two dollars and fifty cents, less than good olive oil would cost.)

Speaking of olive oil, it turns out that duck fat, although an animal fat, has more monounsaturated fats than butter and is more like olive oil in that respect. So while it isn't perfect, it's not a bad fat to use. It's soft, even refrigerated, and very light in color. It has no smell and melts very quickly. The recipe in Cooking Light was for baked fries with just a touch of the duck fat. I made a half recipe (no gravy or cheese curds, just the fries. While Poutine sounds delicious, I really just wanted the fries. Plus, I only like really fresh cheese curds, like the ones you get at the Cache Valley outlet in Utah when you drive to Salt Lake City.) You heat a sheet pan in the oven, put on a tablespoon of duck fat to melt, toss the julienned potatoes to coat them with the fat, sprinkle with salt and roast in the oven until golden brown, about 45 minutes, turning them once.

I don't usually like home made fries. They aren't as good as when you go out. And baked fries, even less. But these fries? Oh my heck were they good. Crispy on the outside, still deliciously potato-y on the inside, salty and wonderful. And at less than 200 calories a serving, something I can include even on my healthy eating plan. The only problem? My mom said I didn't make enough. I made a half recipe and she said I need to make a full recipe next time. The Graminator even munched hers in record time.

So if you see duck fat fries on a menu, try them. Or find some duck fat and make the baked version. Ron at the Butcher Block says he carries it all of the time but suggests that you call ahead since he stores it in the freezer so he can set it out to soften so he can scoop out what you need. Since I only needed a small amount he was able to get it for me no problem even though I hadn't called ahead. They are at 7625 S. Rainbow (at Rainbow just past Warm Springs) and their phone number is 702-558-6328. I also got a really nice smoked ham steak which is going into tonight's dinner and some crab and lobster stuffed mushrooms. The meat there looked phenomenal, They had some filet mignon that was to die for. A little out of my budget this week though. They will totally help you.

If I can eat healthy and still include some delicious duck fat fries, I might just make it after all!

Week One Recap

Because Maura is inspiring me with her honesty, I'm posting my "diet log" for last week. I was at or under my calorie goal every day (except Sunday which is my "Free Day") I walked a mile each day four days last week. I wanted it to be six days but I'm not beating myself up over it. New week, new goal of at least 5 days - I'm still hoping for six but will be okay with five. This is aerobic walking which is more than just walking, it involves some strength training as well.

Okay, here is my week:

Monday
Omelette - one egg omelette with onions, green peppers, mushrooms, salsa and cheese.
1 cup 1% milk
16 cherries
1 cup homemade vegetable soup
1 Lean Cuisine frozen entree (the orzo pasta in it was bad so I didn't eat the whole thing)
1 cup popcorn (the new microwave popper we got is AWESOME, I'll post about it some other time)
1 tablespoon mini chocolate chips
1 serving Antipasto pasta (the recipe is from Cooking Light and it is phenomenal. My mom said it is the best pasta she has ever eaten)
1 cup steamed broccoli
1 seville orange torta (it's like a cracker, got it from Whole Foods, so good)
1 mini cupcake (shared a package of three with Mom and the Graminator. Only 33 calories. I needed 10 more to be satisfied, but didn't)
1 glass iced herbal tea
64 ounces water

Tuesday
Omelette
1 cup 1% milk
1 cup popcorn
1-1/2 portion Spanish Tuna Salad (recipe from Cooking Light)
3 steamed beets
2 pieces ciabatta bread with butter (I didn't get lunch this day since I was out running errands so I ate extra bread at dinner instead)
2 marshmallows
1 cup low fat ice cream
1 tablespoon mini chocolate chips
64 ounces water

Wednesday
egg toaster sandwich - 1 egg over easy, 1 slice low fat shaved ham, 2 pieces light bread, 1 tablespoon Cheez Whiz
1 cup 1% milk
1 cup homemade vegetable soup
1 slice thin crust tomato and cheese pizza
1 tablespoon mini chocolate chips
1 portion skinny buffalo chicken
1 portion skinny potato skins
1 cup cut up carrots, celery, radishes
1 oz low fat ranch dressing
1 snack pack pudding
64 ounces water

Thursday
omelette
1 slice light bread tasted with 1/2 tablespoon jam
1 cup milk
1/2 portion of leftover buffalo chicken and potato skins
1 marshmallow
1/2 cup fruit punch
1 glass iced herbal tea
1 serving canned healthy tomato soup
1 serving toasted turkey bacon guacamole sandwich (recipe in "Cook This, Not That" - so good!)
1 cup orange sherbet
64 ounces water

Friday
omelette
1 slice light toast with jam
1 cup 1% milk
1 cup homemade vegetable soup
1 slice thin crust tomato and cheese pizza
1 serving homemade bare burrito bowl (brown rice, pinto beans, lettuce, tomato topped with stir fried fajita chicken and bell peppers)
1 tablespoon sour cream
3 marshmallows
1 cup orange sherbet
64 ounces water

Saturday
omelette
1 slice toast with jam
1 cup 1% milk
1 bowl chicken noodle soup
2 flatbread crackers
2 marshmallows
1 cup bok choy salad
1 cup steamed thai eggplant
1 serving that beef with coconut rice (recipe in Everyday Food. My favorite go-to stir fry)
1/2 cup steamed snap peas
1/2 Newcastle Beer
1 cup low fat ice cream
64 ounces water

Sunday - my free day!
2 over easy eggs
1/2 slice ham
1 order home fries
1 order biscuits and gravy
1 Reese's candy bar
1 homemade hamburger
1 black and white cookie
1 can San Pelligrino Limonata
50 ounces water

Even though Sunday was my free day, I only went about 600 calories over my daily goal.

The result....week one, 8 pounds lost. (I know, cruel of me to make you read all that garbage for the payoff )

And now on to week 2!

Words to Live By

I think too much. Way too much. Some days I wish I could just turn my brain off. And a lot of that thinking is negative, like why 'friends' don't answer emails or about disagreements that happened years ago. I dwell and obsess and make myself miserable. I know it's a flaw, but have a hard time not doing it (I'd love resolution in all areas of my life but that just ain't gonna happen.)

So when I saw this quote the other day, it struck a nerve and I copied it down, to look at occasionally and try to remind myself to just let things go. Easier said that done for 'she of the evil memory' but I'm trying.

"Finish each day and be one with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." Ralph Waldo Emerson

I like that and I hope you do too, Loyal Readers. It is a new day, begin it well!

Doesn't Taste Like Diet Food

Last night I made a delicious (and low calorie) meal. So delicious, it was difficult to believe it was low calorie. When I first start watching what I eat, the first thing I do is crave what I shouldn't have. Like bar food. As you know, Chan and I have indulged in 'Grease-Fest" at our local bar many times and pigged out on the various deep fat fried foods. So it's not surprising that when I start eating healthy, that's one of the things I crave.

I went to the bookstore to buy a new calorie guide (I had an old one but Calorie King puts out new ones that contain restaurant statistics too and these change frequently and I like to be prepared in case I go out to eat.) I spotted a new 'cookbook' called "Cook This, Not That". It's from the guys who put out the "Eat This, Not That" books that give you substitution suggestions to save you from the highest calorie foods at restaurants. These books have surprised me in the past because the choices they suggest aren't always the ones you think would be better but salad is not always the way to go (thank goodness). So this new book has some restaurant food that they have slimmed down and given you recipes for so that you can save both calories and money by eating at home.

One of the recipes that first caught my eye was a potato skins recipe. Instead of deep frying the skins then loading them with cheese and bacon, you basically make a twice baked potato (so none of the yummy middle gets thrown away). The potatoes are little but you still get cheese and bacon, just small amounts. They looked so good I just had to make them. (I did make a few substitutions of my own, lowering calories even further, using buttermilk - my new secret weapon - and lower fat cheese). They were FABULOUS.

But what to make to go with them? Bar food etiquette dictates buffalo wings or chicken fingers. But those aren't low cal or low fat with their deep fry. So after checking the Internet, I adapted a Weight Watchers recipe and made mine with chicken breast chunks that were stir fried without oil and glazed in a butter-less wing sauce. Oh my gosh, were they good. So good that Mom snarfed hers down and even The Graminator cleaned her plate. Served with carrot sticks, celery sticks and other cut up veggies, it was the perfect imitation of bar food done light. Better than most bar food in fact since the chicken was nice and meaty and the potatoes were so yummy. Of course the portion size was smaller but every bit as satisfying. This was a diet dinner even a "Hungry Man" would love. And all for under 500 calories!

Thanks for the support and encouragement Dyann. Yes, we have to take it one meal at a time. Brava to you for following your vegetarian goals. Part of our eating lighter goals is eating more vegetarian meals. It would be great if we lives someplace where there was an abundance of produce (like Maura and her farmers markets) but Whole Foods has some nice veggies that can take us somewhere other than canned green beans.

We have a new Loyal Reader from 'across the pond' in the UK. Welcome FrenchEclair! I appreciate your recommendation of the book "French Women Don't Get Fat", a book that was a sensation here in the USA for a while but fizzled out. I think it's great that you are such a Francophile but most Americans aren't big fans of the French so adopting a French lifestyle isn't popular here, nor is it very practical. Again, I'd LOVE to live somewhere that has access to great markets, masses of fresh produce, trips to the bakery for fresh baguettes. But alas, I live in the middle of a desert where the only thing that grows is the heat index. But good for you.

Now some advice for you, FrenchEclair. I don't know how old you are but if it has always been your dream to visit Paris, just DO IT! Don't wait for time or finances or the approval of others. Spring is coming and soon it will be "April in Paris". Max out your credit cards, borrow coin from friends but get yourself to Paris even if it is only for two days. If you live in the UK, France is close so there is no excuse. Take a train, plane or automobile. Stay in a hostel, private room or sleep on a park bench. Wandering the streets of Paris is free. Stroll the Seine. Visit Montmarte. See the Eiffel Tower. Spend a few Euros on a baguette and some cheese and cheap wine. Don't wait, my new friend, or years will go by. Excuses will continue to pile up as to why you can't go right now. But don't let them. Grab your passport, a camera, a notebook and just GO. Your dream is an easy one to achieve. Don't worry that it's only for a day or two, once you get a feel for Paris, then you will find a way to go again and again. And stop at a sweet shop for me and buy a 'guimauve' (that's French for marshmallow, isn't that fabulous) and tell me how it is. I am perfecting my version of 'batons de guimauve' right now so I'd love to know how the ones in Paris are. But go, please. I promise you that you will never regret it, even if it makes money tight or people shake their heads at you. You will regret not going, and life should never have regrets. Go, Go, GO! I will put some Edith Piaf on my iPod and think of you.

Okay, off to fulfill marshmallow orders (and not tasting them is killing me)/ Thanks to all of you Loyal Readers, for your love and support of my dreams!

Inspiration

So we are on day three of the new lifestyle. I won't call it a 'diet' because it's actually a long term behavior modification plan. I haven't felt too deprived yet and I have instituted my exercise regimen of walking a mile a day (this will increase as I build strength and stamina.)

Maura and Chan have also started their lifestyle changes. Maura is blogging her common sense diet. And if I know Chan, his involves some scheme that involves only an egg sandwich a day and an exercise routine that rivals that of an MMA fighter. Hey, if it works for him (and it has in the past) then I don't judge. I couldn't do that, for fear of killing everyone around me. But both of us have chronic weight issues so I understand. We used to go to Outback and split a steak dinner - he ate the steak and salad and I ate the baked potato and veggies.

That was when I was doing the Susan Powder no-fat diet. Remember her, the crazy one with the spiked bleached blond hair? You could eat all you wanted as long as you didn't eat more than so many fat grams per day. Everyone came out with these fat free products, except they were all full of sugar. Not very healthy. All I did was drink soda and eat candy corn. I lost twenty pounds but was in danger of killing my blood sugar.

Then came Atkins. This was early Atkins before it was modified to include 'good carbs' and lower fat. That was when you could have eight pieces of bacon and four eggs for breakfast but no toast. The recommended snacks were cream cheese and macadamia nuts. Yeah, that was healthy. We called it the 'steak and scotch' diet because old guys everywhere were on Atkins and having giant steaks and swilling down scotch and telling everyone about their diets. I still can't comprehend how they lost weight eating that much fat and calories but they did see results. They also saw great rises in their cholesterol levels. So Atkins modified and South Beach came along. I don't think Atkins is as much fun as it used to be. As for me, I did Atkins for two weeks (the induction phase) then cracked. I couldn't see myself wanting to live without bread, potatoes or pasta. I made my mom take me to lunch at this Indian restaurant. The waiter apologetically told us it was an all vegetarian restaurant. After two weeks of nothing but meat, I said "bring it on!" Best dosas and aloo gobi I have ever had.

So the last time, when I actually lost a great deal of weight, was when I just ate less and exercised more. I know, scary concept, huh? No craziness, no eliminating everything, I even got 'cheat' meals where I could have whatever I wanted. I started walking one to two miles a day, six days a week. And I go to a website that helps you figure out your basal metabolic rate (that's the number of calories your body needs just to 'run the machine") then deduct 500 calories a day to lose a pound a week. Add in the extra calorie burn from the aerobic exercise and there you go. I followed this last time and lost 55 pounds in about 23 weeks (so about two pounds a week.) While the focus is on 'healthier choices" like leaner meats, lots of fruits and vegetables, nothing is excluded as long as I account for the calories and Sunday is my 'free day' where I don't even have to count them. I track what I eat every day in a log, so I know where I am. (Like last night, I was way under my calorie goal and wanted dessert, so I had some ice cream. And still ended the day under budget)

My goal this time isn't as much a certain target number, as much as it is to keep off whatever I do lose. See, last time when I took off the weight, I joined a gym (giving up the in-home walking six days a week to work out three days a week with a trainer) and stopped writing down everything I ate, started eating fast food again, stopped measuring my portions, stopped going to the gym and low and behold, I gained the weight back. See, I am a compulsive overeater (Hello, my name is Shae, and I'm an overeater) and when I stop consciously controlling myself, I relapse into constant overeating. Easy to understand why, hard to control. So this new plan is to ALWAYS keep it under control. Whether I lose ten pounds or fifty, the goal is to never gain that back. Which means never slacking on watching what I eat and, more importantly, how much I eat.

So thanks Maura and Chan, for inspiring me. I'm not as brave as Maura and I know I won't lose as much weight or as quickly as Chan but it's nice to know that I'm not rowing the boat alone. Someone pass me a celery stick!

Losing Weight

Almost every woman I know resolves to lose weight each new year (and periodically throughout the year.) This is true no matter what size or shape she is already. Maybe it's because of the unrealistic fashion icons but even skinny girls think they need to lose weight.

Well, that's certainly true at our house. My mom wants to lose 10 pounds because she is heavier than she has been in a long time. That's partly my fault. She has been an enthusiastic supporter of the bakery, maybe too enthusiastic when it comes to taste testing. Plus I make delicious dinners every night. So delicious that even the Graminator is weighing in at more than I expected. Plus the scale isn't particularly kind to me either. So it's time to stop indulging constantly and to start indulging on a more infrequent basis.

I know how to lose weight. I did it once, losing more than fifty pounds. I know I could do it again and I don't want to be the reason that my family is unhealthy in any way. So we are all eating healthier with an eye to losing a few pounds (except the Graminator, she needs the extra weight in case of illness or injury...but we only want to maintain her weight, not increase it.)

For my part, this means cooking meals that are just as delicious but lower in fat and calories and not using my family as test subjects for new recipes. (Or if I do need taste testers, making sure it's only a taste, not an entire tray of something.) I like cooking challenges so I'm up for it. We cleaned the house out last night of any tempting holiday remnants and stocked up with lots of healthy fruits and vegetables. I made a huge pot of veggie soup for my mom to eat for lunches and snacks because she wanted some. I'm going to get back into my in-home walking routine because it's a low impact exercise that I can't find an excuse not to do (um hello, you do it in your house so you can do it naked at two a.m. with no equipment...see, no excuses.)

I am detoxing from fast food and soda (also known as "Shae's crack") It's way too easy for me to consume large quantities of fat and calories with fast food and soda so I have to "just say no". In a month or so I can have the occasional soda (as a dessert but not with meals) and not more than one per week. It's just empty calories and actually encourages me to eat more.

My goals are modest. If I am exercising every day and eating healthier, I don't care how much weight I lose. I don't have a specific target except not being so sedentary and remembering portion control. But I want my family to be healthier so if doing this helps them, then bonus if I get healthier too.

Before when I lost all the weight, I relaxed the rules for two meals a week, I think this time it's going to be a Sunday free day. So I won't feel too deprived. Now if I can just not taste every batch of marshmallows....

My Life Resolved

Happy New Year everyone! I'm not sure if 2010 will be better than 2009 since I woke to extreme intestinal distress, which I hope is not a metaphor for 'this year will be S#%T' (hopefully it's more like 'don't eat assorted leftovers at one in the morning.)

I did terrible on my 2009 resolutions, having done so well on my 2008 resolutions. So maybe the lesson is to make resolutions that aren't about me? I could re-affirm the 2008 resolutions but since I pretty much follow them every day, I guess it wouldn't mean much. So I guess I'll make some serious ones again, but really try to follow them more. Here goes.

1. I will moisturize more. I live in the desert and my skin is starting to remind me of that fact. So wherever there is skin, there will be moisturizer!

2. I will promote Glitter City Sweets and the 'brand' more. The marshmallows are selling incredibly well, followed closely by the cookies so it may be time to dump some products and re-focus on other things.

3. I will update the GCS website at least every month and try to stay ahead of the seasons instead of rushing to catch up.

4. I will get back into a daily writing habit. I am first and foremost a writer and I'd better remember that if I ever want to get anywhere with it.

5. I will take advantage of every opportunity and potential opportunity that presents itself and exploit the hell out of it. I let too many things slip through my hands instead of making the most out of it. Not anymore. Be it writing, acting, comedy, business or whatever else I'm doing, I will maximize, Maximize, MAXIMIZE my opportunities.

6. I will try to stop being such a hermit. I will actually schedule those lunches I keep promising, I will call my friends 'just to talk' and I will not accept that Facebook is a substitute for real social interaction (ditto for texts and emails.) And I will see more than one movie in a theater this year.

In the spirit of the New Year, I am also joining in on Maura's "31 in 31", her annual de-clutter movement. (See the rules on her blog). If I start with the trunk of my car, I could hit my 31 in one day (but think I'll be truly ambitious and consider my car as one thing...okay, maybe two. Between my car and magazines, I should be done in less than a week.)

Oh yeah, there is also eating healthier, exercising more, blah, blah blah. 2010, here we come.

2009 The Year In Review

How do you describe 2009? It was a year where everything happened and nothing happened. Strange, huh?

We started and ended the year with a crappy economy. The 'change' that the new Obama administration promised amounted to very little actual change. Now I'm not entirely blaming President Obama, anyone with half a brain knew he couldn't fix everything at once, but I am a little upset about the planed troop surge in Afghanistan and I think the new "Health Care Reform" amounts to a lot of nothing that doesn't address the real problem with our health care system - cost. It would have been simple and easy to fix everything - just tell all medical providers that if they take ANY government funds, then the most they can charge ANY patient (regardless of their insurance status) is the Medicare/Medicaid 'reasonable and customary". Then the undue burden of excess charges wouldn't have to be laid at the feet of the people least likely to afford it. Seriously people, if I sold my marshmallows to one group and charged them $5.00 but to another group charged $1000.00, how long would you think most people would put up with that? But that's what happens and why the cost of healthcare is astronomical. Insurance companies would still exist (in fact it would help encourage more insurance companies to exist because smaller providers could then compete with the huge conglomerates) and doctors who wanted to charge huge fees would still exist, in fact it would create more 'boutique' and 'concierge' doctors because rich people will still pay more voluntarily. All it would do is create a reasonable pricing structure. Not socialized medicine. We'd still choose our doctors, we'd still have uninsured patients but they would be more likely to be able to afford their bills. Does it solve every problem? No. But it does address the biggest problem without costing a single dime. Feel free to use this, you Washington politicians who have NO CLUE about the realities of dealing with the problem. If you need more advice, call me.

On a personal level, this year was one of huge change and yet I still haven't felt the impact of that change very much. Will and Val got married in May, after much stressful planning on my part. I don't regret a minute of it, the bride got her Masters degree on time, the wedding was beautiful and if I ever find my Mr. Close Enough, I'm eloping. Seriously, I'm so happy for them and I think they are both wonderful people who are committed to making their marriage a great one. It's not always easy, but they know that marriage takes work and communication. Bravo!

The wedding not only let me plan and execute a wedding but simply baking some cookies for the bridal shower led me to a new path on my life journey. Last year at this time I had no idea that I would be a small business owner. But those cookies led to more cookies, that wedding cake led to more wedding cakes and all of that led to a marshmallow empire (okay, not empire but still a thriving marshmallow enterprise.) I'm still in a bit of shock and awe of it all. But it proves to me that if you love something and you are willing to put in the time and effort, the American dream is still alive and well. And it also proves that if you love it, it doesn't feel like work. Plus I get to eat leftover cookies, cupcakes and marshmallows, it's like a dream (of course, considering the size of my ass, it's probably more of a nightmare.)

I also acted in my first feature film this year, and it was a BLAST. Seriously, if you ever get the chance to make a movie with your friends, jump at it. You will have so much fun (and now I know why directors like Wes Anderson, Kevin Smith and Jon Favreau use the same casts over and over again, because playing with your friends is so cool.) I don't think the reality of the movie has hit me yet and it probably won't until I'm sitting in a theater watching it. The first cast and crew screening should happen in January and the film is being sent for consideration at film festivals around the world. Our goal is ten festivals in 2010. So hopefully it will be coming to a theater near you!

The Graminator continues to slowly fade away in memory and this year has been really rough. But she got to go to her grandson's wedding and she continues to teach me patience and understanding. We laugh together every day and she lets me sing my silly songs (I use songs and repetition to help her memory as much as I can) and when I get angry or frustrated or upset, she is compassionate and helpful and encouraging. She is my burden and my blessing in one. So I guess though my family I've gotten the wedding I never thought I'd have and the child I never thought I'd have (although she's my 88 year old baby!) I've learned that you may get everything you want in life, it just might not be the way you thought it would happen.

Okay, so what's up for 2010? With the New Year starting on a full (and blue) moon, who knows? But tomorrow is resolution day!

Favorite Christmas Memory

I have lots of Christmas memories and I hold each one dear in my heart. My family is my blessing and for them I am grateful. This year I have chosen to hold onto and remember forever - me and The Graminator singing loudly (and most decidedly off key) "Meet Me in St. Louis" on Christmas Eve.
I don't know how such a silly little thing can mean so much. Bless you Judy Garland.

Cards and Greetings

Today I go the first my first Christmas card of the season. Or should I say holiday card? Because while I'm not particularly religious (and had parents of varying faiths) I generally adapt to the tradition of a secular Christmas. (But to my Jewish friends and Loyal Readers, Happy Hanukkah!) In past years I have bought cards that had the message "Happy Holidays" or "Season's Greetings" not to be 'politically correct', but out of respect for my friends and their various multitude of religious, spiritual and secular beliefs. Plus it's cheaper than buying Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice and all other kinds of cards. So I can completely understand why the first card I received had "Season's Greetings" on it. Non-denominational means that all of your recipients can place their own meaning on the season and you respect everyone, equally. But it seems that while I took the card in the manner in which I'm pretty sure it was intended, a lot of people are mad about this same card.

Oh, did I mention that the card was from the President and Mrs. Obama? From the White House? Yeah. It's nice and I like it, but I'm pretty sure the Obama's didn't say, "Oh, yeah, don't forget Shae!". I think that I got it because as a Democrat and a caucus volunteer last year I made someone's list and that got me on the White House list. I'm flattered because, no offense intended, I never got one from the Clinton White House (and I voted for that dude twice!)

It's a lovely card, much nicer that any I have bought to send out. I usually get my cards at the Dollar store or on sale for 75% off after Christmas. Heck the last two years, I haven't even sent out cards, I've sent our economical and eco-friendly emails. This one is nice and thick and classy looking so I'm betting the Obama's didn't get them at "99 Cents Only". But I guess a lot of people are mad that the card didn't specifically say "Merry Christmas". Um, okay, but then the White House would have to send all it's Jewish supporters a Hanukkah card. And what if they send the wrong card out? I mean, not all people with 'Jewish sounding' last names are Jews and not all Christian sounding names are Christians. Think of the mess that could lead to. So I think the formal and lovely "Season's Greetings" card is both lovely and appropriate. But Fox News doesn't. So I hope the White House didn't send them one.

I do have one dilemma about this card. Does this mean I have to send the Obama's a holiday card now?

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The First Snacksgiving

So yesterday my family celebrated it's first Snacksgiving. Because it was just going to be the Golden Girls for the holiday, I didn't want to do the whole turkey thing. So instead of making one giant meal to consume (and have tons of leftovers) we decided to eat all day long.

First, wardrobe. I had a new pair of lounging pants that were all fleecey and cozy. (They also shed all over the house, but they were cute and comfortable while they did it.) I baked yeast cinnamon rolls and we settled in to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and read the Black Friday ads from the paper. This was the first year in a long, long time, that I actually sat down to watch the parade. I'm usually stuffing the turkey or, when The Graminator was living at her house, driving to her place to put the turkey in her oven. So it was nice to watch the NBC smug-a-thon and do running commentary. I particularly enjoyed John Stamos' performance from "Bye, Bye Birdie".

After the parade is the National Dog Show, which we love. John O'Hurley isn't quite as funny a commentator as the one in the movie "Best in Show" but he's still better than the Westminster guy. We were rooting for the Scottie, and she won. During the dog show we enjoyed the 'cheese and cracker' course of Snacksgiving. I made our Thanksgiving staple, which is homemade cranberry sauce over cream cheese served with Ritz crackers (I know it sounds weird but it's actually really good, and so addicting. Plus the cranberry sauce I made this year turned out extra good.) I also made spinach artichoke dip which we ate with flatbread crackers. Yum.

It was two o'clock when the dog show ended and The Graminator wanted a nap. Mom and I decided that a nap sounded good to us too, so we each headed off to our rooms for a little snooze as well. Our nap was interrupted by my bother calling to say that they made it to Modesto okay. Even with the interruption, we agreed that it was a lovely nap, so very indulgent and decadent.

After the nap, we cleaned up the kitchen and I started making the 'hot snacks' portion of the day. I made tenderloin of beef crostini with blue cheese and caramelized onions. (In the interest of full disclosure, while technically we didn't have a holiday 'meal', on Wednesday I did make an herb crusted beef tenderloin, twice baked potatoes and haricot vert. I used the leftovers from that for the crostini. I did all of the prep cooking on Wednesday so that Snacksgiving would be as easy as possible.) I also made some crab cakes and supplemented with mushroom turnovers and mini cheese souffles from Trader Joes. Oh, and deviled eggs, you can't have Snacksgiving without deviled eggs. We consumed that while watching the movie "Almost Famous" which is my favorite Cameron Crowe film and I thought my mom would enjoy the period piece featuring her favorite style of music.

After the movie, we cleaned up the kitchen (again, cleaning was minimal, mostly plates and utensils, no pans to soak or scrub.) we watched the CBS Monday sitcoms, which I DVR during the "Dancing with the Stars" season and enjoyed the 'sweets' portion of Snacksgiving. I made mini pecan pies in phyllo crusts and a pumpkin custard (okay, it was crustless pumpkin pie.) That way we had a taste of the holiday in mini-portion size.

My favorite part of Snacksgiving? The complete lack of stress. It was such a relaxing day (did I mention the Winter Sangria we drank starting with the "hot snacks' course?) No fuss, no muss, just good food, good conversation and good entertainment. Of course we missed the company of our larger family, but without them here, this was definitely the way to go. And because we ate small snack courses throughout the day, we never had that "oh my god, I'm so stuffed, I ate five carb dishes together" feeling.

I know what you are thinking, "But Shae, you don't get any delicious leftover turkey sandwiches". Well, we have that covered too. Today, after my mom gets off work, she's going to stop at Capriotti's and pick up a Bobbie. For those of you not from Delaware or Las Vegas, Capriotti's is a sub sandwich shop that makes their own turkey and roast beef (not sliced sandwich meat, but the real home roasted kind) and one of their signature sandwiches is the "Bobbie", which is turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce and mayo on a roll. Yup, it's basically Thanksgiving on a bun. So tonight for dinner we are having 'leftover' turkey sandwiches without having to make the turkey. Smart, huh? The best of both worlds.

Whether you celebrated Thanksgiving, Snacksgiving or something else entirely, I hope, Loyal Readers, that you are as blessed as I am to have such wonderful family and friends. I am thankful for you. And deviled eggs. But mostly you.

Lonely Thanksgiving

Normally, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year. But this year, not so much. See, if I could, I would have a giant Thanksgiving with tons of people. I love to cook and to eat and to share with everyone, and isn't that what Thanksgiving is all about? But my father was an only child with no cousins and my mother has only one brother and one sister, both of whom live elsewhere. And while my brother did get married this year, that means they split their time between families, and this year that means going to Modesto for Thanksgiving. My Uncle Stuart and his girlfriend Roberta usually come down to have the holidays with us (because Roberta is allergic to sage, I'm the only one who will cook a sage-free Thanksgiving meal for her.) But they have both come down with the swine flu and don't want to come and risk infecting The Graminator. So that means that this year, I will be cooking Thanksgiving dinner for three.

Now, I cook dinner nearly every night, and I usually make pretty good meals (so far this week we have had pork chops stuffed with apples, cranberries and pecans with an apple-balsamic reduction and crispy rosemary shrimp over garlicky beans and spinach. Just so you know that I'm no Martha Stewart, tonight we are having chili dogs). And I love the traditional Thanksgiving meal. But it's a lot of work. I make my own turkey stock for the gravy, stew down fresh pumpkins for the pies, etc. And I'm not sure I want to go through all of that for just the three of us (and The Graminator only eats enough to qualify as a half serving really.) Christmas will only bring Stuart and Roberta to the table (Will and Val are going to Modesto for that holiday too - we are trying to talk them into splitting it up next year so both families get them for one or the other holiday) but I could make the huge turkey dinner then. So what should I do for this Thanksgiving? The only recipes that I've found appealing so far have been one for Winter Sangria and one for Pomegranate-Rosemary Champagne Cocktail (hmm, do you sense an adult beverage theme?) So do I make a turkey? Do I make an alternative but equally festive meal? Do I just heat up a T.V. dinner and drink my way to Christmas? Help, Loyal Readers, what should I do?

So I have to add to my 'dream man' list of qualities I am looking for in a mate. In addition to smart and funny, he needs to have at least two siblings, with spouses and children, who want ME to cook for the holidays. Owning a large cabin in lovely wooded area (with Christmas being lightly snowy) would be a bonus. Yes, I want to live in a Norman Rockwell painting.

Long Time Gone

Sorry, my few Loyal Readers who still check the blogs to see what's going on, that I haven't been keeping up my end of the bargain.

After months of buying new accessories, pictures and painting huge swatches of paint on the walls, we finally started the redecorating process. Picking a paint was a HUGE ordeal! After starting with the idea that we wanted a blue-green, there was the search for the right blue-green. Not too blue, not too green. Then we found the perfect drapes for the Cape Cod concept my mother desired, only the blue stripe in them was blue, not blue-green. So we had to go back and find a blue paint. It took forever but we finally settled on a color called "Lament" (hmm, should we have taken that as a warning?) After months of not getting started, one Sunday I decided we would paint the hallway ceiling first. My mom was not happy about it, I think she would have preferred to procrastinate longer. But once the ceiling was painted she got into the swing of things and decided that the walls and doors in the hallway were next.

So off to Lowe's for a gallon of Lament in an eggshell finish and white semi-gloss for the hall doors. After getting it all painted, it looked very nice, but very, VERY blue. Maybe too blue for an entire house. So my mom decided that perhaps in the living room we would have one blue accent wall and the other walls would be perhaps a dried wheat color. So off we went again in search of samples, painting them on the wall. The first was too pink, looking like we painted the wall with my makeup foundation. The second, too white, it would have blended with the furniture. The third was just right. The only problem was that it was a Dutch Boy color called "Butter Cookie" and Lowe's doesn't sell Dutch Boy. But they said they can match anything so we get a sample can. Eureka, it was perfect. A lovely lightest dried wheat shade that went with the blue and the drapes. So off I go to buy two quarts in eggshell for the kitchen.

The man mixes the paint on a very busy night (the lady next to me was buying bright apple green for a bathroom, it was a really, er, bold choice) and puts a dot of color on one of the cans. It looks really light to me but paint dries darker so at first I'm not too concerned. But as I run my other errands (we finally found a great white chair for the computer desk) I keep thinking that it's not the right color. Maybe my mom gave me the wrong paint chip. But no, when I get home, it's the right paint chip but the wrong paint. Not the color we want at all. So my mom heads to Lowe's with the paint and sample to fight it out while I get the kitchen primed (since we are painting over semi-gloss, the paint store man says we need to prime). The paint and the sample were a different mix, the lady at Lowe's agrees, but with no instructions put on the sample can, she tried mixing it several times but can't get the shade we want. So after graciously allowing us a refund, Mom heads to the Dutch Boy store and buys a quart. I paint the kitchen by myself (using some Cirque du Soleil type acrobatics) and we step back to take a look. It looks nice, but it wasn't the exact color we wanted.

So, we decide to leave the kitchen alone, as it isn't seen from most of the other rooms and can stand alone. Plus we had already found this fabulous fabric for curtains in the kitchen window. But we still needed a color for the living room walls. So Mom headed to Lowe's and got yet another sample can. This one was definitely more brown. I could tell she wasn't happy but she was resigned to having to live with it. I can't stand to see anyone unhappy so I headed to Lowe's and picked two more sample cans (if anyone needs a small sample can of paint, please call me, I have plenty laying around). One, called "Baking Stone" looked great to me, but I picked up "Bayshore" as well, just in case. Mom agreed that the paint chip of Baking Stone looked the best. But when I painted some of the sample on the wall, it was quite obviously mixed wrong. AGAIN. It was about two shades darker than the sample chip and this weird brown/green. I opened the Bayshore with little hope. I painted a swatch on the wall. And do you know what? It was almost EXACTLY the color of the sample can of Butter Cookie that they couldn't duplicate. EUREKA!!! We had the paint!

So with a few days of vacation from the bread store we got down to the hard work. I painted the ceiling - not the most fun job in the world but it looks amazing. It's truly remarkable how much your ceiling yellows after the years and how white white can be. Buy the good Kilz ceiling paint, trust me it's worth the investment (and now I have to re-paint the ceiling in the hallway because it's a different white now). Then with the help of Will and Val on Sunday we got the living room painted (I could have painted it myself but I needed help moving furniture.) The transformation is incredible, it looks like a different house.

But we still aren't done. Because the two blue accent walls were primed before painting, they are now a slightly different shade than the hallway. So I have to prime and re-paint the hall. There is one wall in the living room that was painted a little sloppy so I need to go over it again. There are touch ups all over the place. We still have to hang the new pictures and accessories. We have to put the curtains back up. We were hoping to have everything done before Thanksgiving but we won't quite be done. But since it's just the three of us for Thanksgiving (I'll post that story later) we have some time to get it done.

There are also the Christmas stockings I have been crocheting, the Graminator and her memory slide, the charity events I've been helping out with and the NaNoWriMo that I'm way behind on. That's what I've been up to. What have you been doing?

Crazy for Popcorn

I love good popcorn. I'm just old enough to remember when movie theaters had real butter, not 'buttery topping' as the man at the theater described it to me recently. (And the popcorn came in tubs, not paper bags.) When I worked at The Comedy Stop there was a popcorn machine and while it didn't have butter we would sneak in sticks of butter for the corn ourselves. (Shhh, don't tell the management, I may want to work the club again one day.) Microwave popcorn, while edible, isn't quite as good as the popper kind (and don't get me started on air popped, that's just wrong.)

I like the flavored popcorn too. Cheddar, herb, Parmesan, caramel, kettle, chocolate, it's all good. (For the best white chocolate popcorn, go to Danielle's which is also the only place in Las Vegas where I can get caffeine free Dr. Pepper.) A few years ago Will and Val got some popcorn from her folks for Christmas from The Popcorn Factory which is how I discovered the delightful combining of cheese popcorn with caramel popcorn.

Anyone from the Chicago area is familiar with Garrett's Popcorn and their 'mix' which is half cheese popcorn and half caramel popcorn mixed together. I'm into salty and sweet together so this mix is extraordinary. But Garrett's is pricey and has to be shipped. Ditto for Popcorn Factory. I tried a cheap kind from the discount store last holiday ($2.50 for a three gallon drum should have tipped me off, but no) and was sorely disappointed. So imagine my delight when we went to lunch last Sunday (to Cafe Deia for tapas, future post on that later) and I spotted Dyer's Gourmet Popcorn. We had to stop and try some (okay, I had to stop and everyone got dragged along) and boy is it good.

They have several 'everyday' flavors like butter, white cheddar, caramel, caramel pecan (whole pecans, delicious) and they had the "mix". He also has some specials like pina colada, jalapeno and chocolate (which is more like a cocoa kettle corn that a chocolate covered). It's fresh (never more than a few hours old) They offer samples and we had fun trying it. And I got my mix. Oh so good, the caramel is a great but not overpowering caramel corn and the cheese is such a fun orange with great cheesy flavor. Yum.

Now, I wish I could be the business advisor there. He has a lot of things I would improve upon, first of which is a functional website. I swear, I could increase his business by 30% if he's let me make a few suggestions. But instead I'll just keep my mouth shut (mostly to chew the delicious corn!) But if you are ever hankering for some Chicago style popcorn while you are in Vegas and you are out by Durango and Flamingo, head to Dyer's. Get the mix. While you're at it, get me some too!

Whip It Real Good

Friday I went to the movies for the first time in forever (I believe it may have been the first time in 2009) which is unusual for me but with the business plus raising an 88 year old I never have time. But I had received a summons for Grand Jury duty so Mom was home to watch The Graminator and I had already done my hair and makeup (wow, makeup, I know but for me it's a feat) when the court called to tell me I had been excused and didn't need to go. So I decided to get some supplies for a cake I'm doing and go to the movies.

I went to see "Whip It", the roller derby themed directorial debut of Drew Barrymore. It was terrific and I give it two very enthusiastic thumbs up. *SPOILER ALERT* Don't read more if you don't want to know about the film!

Ellen Page (Juno) plays Bliss, a small town Texas teen who doesn't quite fit in. She's not a square peg in a round hole, she just hasn't found her niche yet. When a classmate says to her, "So, you're alternative now?" she answers quizzically "Alternative to what?" Bliss tries to be a good daughter, competing in the town's beauty pageant to please her mother, a former Miss Blue Bell herself who now delivers the mail and lives in a tiny house and pins her lost dreams on her two daughters. Bliss' father loves his kids but can't quite relate to all that estrogen so he watches a lot of football (and looks longingly at the guy next door with his two rough and tumble sons.)

Bliss and her best friend Pash sneak off the bright lights of Austin one Friday night to see an exhibition match of the Texas roller derby league. After the excitement of her first encounter with derby, Bliss tells the captain of the Hurl Scouts ( the losingest team in the league) that "You're my new heros." Maggie (Kristen Wigg from SNL) tells her to come to try outs and "be your own hero".

Bliss straps on her Barbie roller skates and even though she's too timid to hit anyone, makes the Hurl Scouts. Her journey to become "Babe Ruthless" through derby is a fairly typical coming of age story. All of the things that happen to Bliss probably would have happened to her in college anyway. But derby teaches Bliss to stand up for what she wants, to be her own person, even if that person isn't 'mainstream' and that men are pigs (sorry guys). Sure, she takes some hits along the way, but the derby metaphor holds. If you get up, keep going and get a little help from the team, you can "Whip it".

This movie was Girl Power to the max but so much fun that I think even men would like it. It's less about Roller Derby and more about learning about yourself and your relationships with people around you. How the people who may not understand you can still love you and how important family is, whether they are you 'real' family or your teammates.

Brilliant performances by the cast, including Marcia Gay Harden as Bliss's postal carrier mom (I adore her as an actress but find her arched eyebrows just a bit distracting), Andrew Wilson as the Hurl Scouts' coach (he's the third and most underused of the Wilson brothers, Luke and Owen. He has their talent and he's as good looking so I don't know why he isn't in more movies), Juliette Lewis who was awesome as "Iron Maven" the rival team captain who fears that Bliss is going to steal her last chance at a moment of glory, and Daniel Stern as Bliss' dad, who had one of my favorite moments of the film. (Putting out his own yard sign of pride.)

The credits end with the dedication something like (I'm paraphrasing, sorry) "For all the girls who think they can, you can!" and that's how I felt leaving the theater. Empowered and happy. I've heard that some 'real' roller girls aren't happy, that they felt the derby stuff wasn't realistic enough but again, the movie wasn't about derby as much as it was about people. And I learned more about derby than I expected. My grandparents used to watch derby when I was a kid but that's about all I knew. Now I understand how it's played.

Drew did a great job directing, relegating herself to a fairly minor character, the Whole Foods cashier by day and roller derby "Smashley Simpson" by night. The scenes were well shot, the pacing was great and the movie never lost it's focus on Bliss.

I don't roller skate (fear of falling down) and I could never be a roller girl (see fear of falling down compounded with fear of elbows to head, flying over railings and concussion) but I loved the power and freedom those girls had. So while I may not be a derby girl on the track, I'm a derby girl at heart. They all had such awesome names that I wanted my own derby name. So just call me "Ginger Wail" as I wail on you while I pass you on the imaginary track in my head!

Get Out

A friend's sister was a battered wife for apparently a very long time and the years of physical and mental abuse ended in terrible violence. I know what toll emotional and physical abuse can take, and I know what it does to your self-esteem. In my opinion, abusers NEVER change. They can promise you anything, but they will abuse again and again and they will try to make it all your fault. If you are the victim of abuse, get help and get out. Don't hide it, don't excuse it and don't live with it.