Every year we make New Year’s Resolutions, most of which are broken long before Martin Luther King Day. And the worst part is that most of these resolutions are purely selfish - “I’ll lose weight so I look good” or “I’ll quit smoking so I don’t get lung cancer. Well, I’m going to make some New Year’s resolutions that not only can I keep for more than 2 weeks, but could possibly benefit the entire planet. Yup, I’m that good!
1. I will try to cover my mouth whenever I cough or sneeze, thereby protecting the planet from a possible pandemic which could potentially decimate the world’s population. (You’re welcome.)
1. I will try to cover my mouth whenever I cough or sneeze, thereby protecting the planet from a possible pandemic which could potentially decimate the world’s population. (You’re welcome.)
2. I will vote whenever possible, and potentially be responsible for electing a leader who can create lasting and effective change. (Stop laughing, it could happen.)
3. I will continue to buy cheap goods from third world countries, helping to support a global economy and feeling good knowing that while I am possibly buying goods made by small children in foreign sweat shops, at least I kept a few of them out of the international sex trade. (I made be made a saint.)
4. I will invest my resources in companies that support efforts to fight homelessness, support global communication and promote renewable energy. (Right now those companies are my landlord, the phone company and the power company.)
5. I will, if possible, allow myself to be bitten by a radioactive spider, so that I am transformed into a crime fighting superhero. (I live in Southern Nevada, near a Nuclear Test Site and Nuclear Waste Repository, this may not be as difficult as in might seem.)
There you have it, my resolutions for world change. Now I’m going to take a nap and conserve my energy for the greater good.
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