Okay, maybe hate is too strong a word. Let's just say I'm not a fan. Especially of people who have no idea of what it's like to struggle with weight issues. The worst are the ones who are a size four who exclaim "Oh, I am soooo fat!". I just want to hit those people. Look, call me when you can box in the light heavyweight division (over 178 lbs.) and then maybe I'll feel something for you but until then shut up and eat a sandwich already.
I have been overweight since childhood. It didn't help that my paternal grandmother made me breakfast every morning and by breakfast I mean enough food to fuel a lumberjack for a full day, (When it came time for finals when I was in high school she would make an extra big breakfast as "brain food". A huge T-Bone steak, eggs, hash browns, toast, the works. Granted, I had a pretty big brain but I also had a pretty big ass.) And I've never let my weight hold me back from anything I wanted to do (well, it may have hindered my career as a ballerina but since I never wanted to be a ballerina it's okay.) My blood pressure is normal, my cholesterol is fine and (knock on wood), I have been really healthy.
But I'm getting older and after I turned thirty-five I noticed that my weight hung a few inches lower that it ever had been. While I've always been a pear shape, I don't want to end up a pyramid. So I want to lose a little weight. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to be overweight. Just slightly less overweight. And then my goal is to keep that weight off instead of gaining it back. I'd rather lose twenty pounds and keep it off than lose fifty and gain it all back (been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, then had to exchange it for a bigger size.) And as much as I hate exercise, (and I do, I despise it with a passion usually reserved for fascist dictators) I know that it will help me stay healthy. (Still hate it.)
The media makes so much about thin these days. Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, they would be considered heifers these days. The media is blasting Eva Longoria for being fat (what the hell?!?, my right thigh is bigger than she is.) And those girls on the new "90210" look as thought they could star as starving children in a Sally Struthers infomercial. Please, can we have a Hollywood actress who looks somewhat realistic? I'm not talking a size twelve or fourteen (even if that is pretty normal) but maybe a size ten?
Dieting is hard. Oh, I can cook up some great healthy recipes but inside, all I want is a cheeseburger (and I mean a cheeseburger, not a soy patty on a whole wheat bun with fat free cheese.) I saw one website that had lo-cal chili cheese fries. I was intrigued since I am somewhat of a chili cheese fry aficionado. When I looked at the recipe it was soy chili and fat free cheese over BUTTERNUT SQUASH FRIES! What taste-bud missing moron came up with that!?! Now I happen to like roasted butternut squash but it tastes NOTHING like a french fry, nothing at all. And to top it with soy chili and fat free cheese makes me want to upchuck my egg white omelet and dry whole wheat toast breakfast. Please, I'd rather have one lonely, single, solitary real chili cheese fry than a whole plate of that crap. If that's what skinny people eat, I'd rather be fat and happy than skinny and doomed to a life of pseudo-food.
This morning I woke up starving and not wanting to exercise and I was going to say 'eff this' and have a real breakfast when I stepped on the scale and found I had lost two pounds. Dammit. So instead I walked my two miles and had my crappy, er, I mean healthy breakfast and I guess I'll stick with it a little while longer. But I still want a cheeseburger.
