Baby Daddy's

Since the response to the "Who's the Daddy" game was underwhelming (thanks Maura and Chan for participating!) I'll announce that of the two, Chan is the winner. He got one right. Here are the babies and their respective fathers.

Baby One - Ben Affleck. This should have been an easy choice. Everyone knows my Ben Affleck obsession. But after seeing this kid's picture, well, not so much. I'm sure Ben's actual children are much more attractive.




Baby Two - Owen Wilson. The cutest of the babies has the least conventionally attractive dad, although I love this quirky actor. Anyone who hasn't seen it needs to rent "Bottle Rocket".




Baby Three - Ryan Reynolds. This Canadian actor is hot, hot, hot (as in not only good looking but also starring in some mega-movies. It's about time, I've seen how talented Ryan was since "Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Parlor". He has eclectic taste in women (Alanis Morrisette and Scarlett Johannson seem like polar opposites to me, but hey, whatever.) His baby though is a pasty kid, which I guess you should expect if a Canuck mates with a mayonnaise woman (I'm so white I'm opaque.)



Chan wins marshmallows in his choice of flavors. See, aren't you sad you didn't participate now?

Blah Blah Blog

Some days it's easy for me to come up with an idea for a post. Some days it's like pulling a rabbit out of my...well, you know where. Trying to decide what will be interesting to you, Loyal Readers, without being too "Dear Diary, I met the cutest boy today..." I get the most views when I post embarrassing stories or pictures of myself (dominatrix anyone?) or put celebrity names in my post labels. My life isn't really all that interesting yet tens of people read my blog every day. (And readership is actually growing, although the why still escapes me.) I'd love to hear from you as to the topics that you would like me to expound upon.

For today, in the interest of giving people what they seem to want, I'm going to tell you ten embarrassing things about myself and list ten celebrities.

1. I have never seen the movie "E.T." I don't want to see it. I'm sure it's wonderful but I couldn't be less interested. Sorry, Mr. Spielberg.

2. My nickname in high school was "Chez Moi." Because everyone was taking French (wasn't that smart of us?) and "Chez" is pronounced like my name. Only when they called me "Chez Moi" (which means "my house") they pronounced it 'shezzzz'. Fortunately, this nickname was given to me by Giovanna Sardelli and she graduated my sophomore year and everyone forgot it after that. And it wasn't as bad as this guy I knew, Brian Hess, whose nickname was "Squid".

3. I didn't learn to drive until after I graduated from high school. I might never have learned if my mother hadn't gotten tired of driving me to work and she sure as hell wasn't going to drive me to college every day. I was a really timid driver and would panic whenever I stalled the car and traffic would back up and people would start honking at me. (My mom once flipped a guy off when he did that. And she's not the flipping off kind of woman.) What's funny to me now is that I'm a really good (and fairly assertive) driver - all those years of driving in Los Angeles - while my mom, who taught me, is really timid and won't drive unfamiliar routes or make left hand turns.

4. The only macaroni and cheese I like comes out of a blue box. I know, I'm a gourmet cook, so I should like some fancy truffled mac or something. But only the blue box (made with extra powdered cheese) tastes like I think it should. But it must be eaten as soon as it's made. Let it sit and it's gross. Reheating does not work. And while I'm admitting to junk food likes, I should also disclose that I love Spaghetti-o's and Chef Boyardee Ravioli too.

5. My father once told me, when I was about fifteen years old, that I was the biggest disappointment in his life. He was referring to the fact that I was fat. It took me many years to finally realize that his problem with my weight was just that, HIS problem. And the worst part, for me, was that it wasn't the cruelest thing he ever said to me. I'm an adult now and I can forgive him. I loved my father, and in his mind he was trying to help me. But the scars remain.

6. I failed college algebra. Twice (well, it would have been twice but I wised up and dropped the class before I could fail again.) I had to give up and take something else. I can do math, honestly, I'm actually pretty good at normal math but algebra and my brain do not mix. And I'm actually okay with basic algebraic equations until it gets to the graphing part and signs and cosigns and then at that point all I hear is the adults in the Charlie Brown cartoons "Wa Wa Wa Wa Wahhhh". My friend Traci (hi Traci!) is a math genius (and I mean genius in the literal sense) and I was always so jealous of her math ability. I still am.

7. I cut my toenails wrong. I cut them round instead of straight across. No one told me when I was a kid to cut straight across so I always just followed the curve of the nail. The problem is, that leads to ingrown toenails. A lot of ingrown toenails. So you have to keep cutting them round and very, very short. I hate getting pedicures because the pedicurist always yells at me. And I have to get a pedicure for the wedding. Ugh.

8. I was once a phone sex operator. For about a day. See, I have a really good voice on the phone. Random wrong numbers will actually hit on me over the phone ('cuz that's the kind of guy I'm looking for, one who can't even dial correctly.) And I needed a second job. So I applied for a 'phone actress' job in the paper when I was nineteen. I was hired immediately during my phone interview. Then the woman gave me 'training'. I slowly began freaking out. By the time she got to how to handle clients who were into bestiality, I was in full blown panic. I took one call, hung up on the man about half way through and never did it again (okay, maybe once or twice with a boyfriend who traveled a lot, but that was different.)

9. I have a tattoo. It's very small and well concealed. I'm not a 'tat' kind of girl. But they are permanent. That's all I'm saying.

10. I haven't had a date in over 15 months. You do the math.

Okay, end of embarrassing. On to celebrities. Here is the list of ten celebrities I would have sex with (my 'free' list, as it were.) Don't judge.

1. Ben Affleck
2. Dane Cook
3. Colin Firth
4. Owen Wilson
5. Robert Redford (I said don't judge!)
6. Tyler Florence
7. Gerard Butler
8. Christopher Meloni
9. Ryan Reynolds
10. A threesome with Will Farrell and Paul Rudd (I can feel you judging, but it's not like it could happen.)

Definitely, Definitely

I don't want to give much away but I highly recommend the romantic comedy "Definitely, Maybe". It's a warm, touching, funny movie that manages to be smart (rare for romantic comedies) and not formulaic (extremely rare for romantic comedies). Written and directed by Adam Brooks, it manages to be romantic, realistic and political.

It's not often you find a romance set against the backdrop of hope and scandal of the Clinton years but it works as a metaphor for the life of the hero, Will Hayes, brilliantly played by Ryan Reynolds. I will admit to having liked Ryan from all the way back when he was on "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Parlor". He is the only reason to watch "Blade: Trinity". But a lot of the characters he plays are sort of snarky, smart-assed men who are quick with a comeback line. Not that he isn't great at that, just try not to laugh at "Waiting" and he even made "Van Wilder" watchable. But it wasn't until I saw him at the 2007 Sundance Film Festival in a movie called "The Nines" where I saw he had a great deal of depth as an actor as well. (Please rent "The Nines". It's a really interesting film that's funny, creepy, existential and entertaining. It also stars indie gal Hope Davis and the very nice Melissa McCarthy of "Gilmore Girls" and "Samantha Who"). It's great to see someone really using Ryan's talent. And nice to see he got over his breakup with Alanis Morrisette and is now engaged to Scarlett Johannsen. (Man, will they have beautiful babies or what?)

Abigail Breslin (from "Little Miss Sunshine") plays Will's daughter, Maya, and someone gave her the direction to not play it too cute (thank goodness) so she comes off as a really smart but vulnerable little girl. (As opposed to whomever directed her in "Kit Kittridge" because in the trailers for that she practically channels Shirley Temple on crack.) Elizabeth Banks, Rachel Weisz and Isla Fisher (loved her as the crazy sister in "Wedding Crashers") are the women that Will meets, falls in love with, loses, and meets again and again.

I will admit, I love romantic comedies, even some of the bad ones ("27 Dresses" was so formulaic and got universally panned, yet I didn't think it was so awful, but then again I went in with really low expectations). But "Definitely, Maybe" is one I would watch over and over again. I even teared up at one point. It was a really nice story told really well. Definitely, definitely check it out.


This picture is of Ryan from when we met him at Sundance. I tried to snap a shot of him with my brother Will when they were talking but Ryan is really tall and Will isn't so I mostly just got Ryan's head. This is a slightly better picture of him.