Where Do Ideas Come From?

Every story came from an idea. But where do ideas come from? What rattles around in your brain, rolling around, worried about like a bit of sand in an oyster shell until it becomes a beautiful pearl? (Or as is my case most of the time, a weird looking lump?)

Last night we were watching Jim Gaffigan's new stand up special "King Baby". If you have never heard Jim Gaffigan do comedy, you should really take a listen. He is so funny, my cheeks hurt from laughing so much. I've seen him both on TV and live, and he is truly gifted. His timing is awesome, his jokes are funny and he works clean. I actually watched the show twice (bless Comedy central for running it back to back), the first time with my mom where we just laughed our butts off (don't I wish that were actually possible) and the second time to analyze. (When I first started doing comedy I would be analyzing other comics constantly, but that took a little joy out of it so now I make myself watch it first to enjoy then analyze later.) He has his routine down cold, like when the microphone should be in his left hand to make a joke work, when to drop inflection, when to stop, when to start. It's amazingly well crafted and I only wish I could be half that good.

Here is part of his routine from last night about bacon.


Too funny. But while watching his show I heard a joke that started the wheels turning in my head. The idea for a new short film. I know there is a lot of filming going on in the future but maybe we could wedge this one in too. I don't want to give it away while I'm working on it but the title is "Spare Way to Heaven".

So that's how the genesis of this film began. A joke that made me think of something else that led me to this script. My first script, "Arnie Johnson's Big Break" was based on the "what if" scenario, in that case "what if a comic picked the wrong audience member to insult?". "Supermodels" is based on the idea that if you are a 'supermodel' instead of just a regular model that you have super powers. Ideas that germinate, then actually grow into something.

Anyway, I am excited about this new short and I have to get it all finished so I'm going to go write now. And I'm glad because it's taken me slightly away from my cookie obsession (yes, I am going ahead with the cookie favor business, so you get to see that from the beginning too, Loyal Readers. I am getting ready for the photo shoot of the cookies and I'm getting my web designer to start the project.)

So, where do your ideas come from? And once you get one, what do YOU do with it?

Six Degrees of (Insert Celebrity Name Here)

Okay, so you all know I'm working on a new feature film, which is set to begin filming sometime after my feature film debut finishes filming. (In exciting update news, that film will begin shooting on May 8th, YAY!)

For my film, which is set in Vegas - because a) write what you know and b) Vegas is, well, still cool - I need to find a celebrity. Or possibly celebrities. I'm making this film on no budget and not paying anyone, except that craft services will be good (for those that don't know what craft services is, it's the food on set, and believe me, always trust the fat girl with food). I think this film is going to get some buzz on the festival circuit. I don't want to give too much away but the concept for the film is totally unique and something that is a bit risky but truly interesting. But because the cast will be free and therefore relatively unknown, I need a celebrity cameo appearance or two to help boost the films 'street cred'.

I was at a film festival with "Supermodels" where my little 'film that could' showed with another film that looked fantastic. Now I love my film but it cost $1800 and was made with completely unknown actors (and I use that term loosely because most of them, okay all of them, had never acted in a film before). This film had Robert Wagner and Lori Singer in it. (It's called "Little Victim" and it's a really cute movie, you can see it here.) Made by the Ronalds Brothers, I asked them how much their movie cost them to make. They said $100,000. After I finished choking, I asked how they got actors like Robert Wagner. That's when I was told that if you can afford to meet an actor's 'day rate' (that is, the amount an actor gets paid for one days work) then you can hire any actor you want. While I'm sure they couldn't get ANY actor, I wondered about directors like me, working with no budget. Could I get an actor? A real one? One who was sort of 'known'? (By the way, you can buy the Ronalds Brothers feature film, "Netherbeast Incorporated" online or rent it on Netflix. It has Darrell Hammond, Judd Nelson, Dave Foley and yes, Robert Wagner in it.)

So here is what I need from you, Loyal Readers. We are going to play "Six Degrees of Separation". Do you know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody? I'd love to find some celebrities for this film. Here is my dream list: Wayne Newton, Penn & Teller, Siegfried and/or Roy, George Wallace, Donny and/or Marie. Yes, it's a list of celebrities who already are in Las Vegas. That's because I can't provide airfare or accommodations. But if you know a celebrity who's willing to come to Vegas on their own dime for a cameo role to help a struggling filmmaker, by all means invite them.

Here is what I can provide for any celebrity who decides to help us out with a credited or uncredited cameo: Transportation to and from the set in a 2002 Toyota Corolla, an assigned lackey to fetch water, juice, etc while keeping paparazzi at bay, excellent craft services and the director will personally make you two dozen cupcakes in any flavor(s) you choose. Plus all the undying gratitude you can stand. And for the six degree people who are able to get me in contact with said celebrities, the cupcake offer stands for you too as well as thank you credit in the film.

Okay, Loyal Readers, you have your assignment. Filming will begin in September. So think about who you know who might know someone who might know someone. This is a social experiment to test the six degrees of separation. I know we can do it! My film depends on YOU!

Last Comic Standing

People have asked me for years why I don't try out for "Last Comic Standing". I hated the show in the early years because the comics had to live together in the same house while they competed in weird 'challenges' and then had the 'head to head' showdown between only two comics per week. It was awful and I stopped watching. I would never be a part of something like that. Now the format has apparently changed (or so it seems from the show I saw last night) and hopefully that means no more living together like one big, funny dysfunctional family.

I'll tell you a secret...shh, don't tell anyone I told you this...but a lot of comics are not nice people. Many comics, especially those that are just trying to break into the business, are mean, evil people who wouldn't help their own mothers unless it furthered their career in some way. Now not everyone is that way. I know some wonderful, supportive, helpful comics who aren't motivated by jealousy and fear. My comedy 'fairy godmother', Joni Grassey, is a lovely and incredibly funny and talented woman who has helped my career more than I can ever thank her for. If she couldn't do a gig, she recommended me for the job. She introduced me to producers who booked me in shows. She helped me when we performed in 'Funniest Females' for nine months and let me tell you, those six nights a week, two shows a night meant more to my career than anything. And when I needed help with my film, she was right there for me, helping me with the fundraising and taking on one of the parts. She is awesome, and an example of how to be, so I've always tried to emulate her. There are some other terrific comedians who always were supportive and nice, like Bob Saget and Lenny Clark and Richard Jeni and Rob Sherwood and many more I could name. But here were even more than were mean or rude or spiteful or crazy. (Remind me to tell you my Margaret Cho story sometime.)

I never realized what awful human beings some comics really were until I started making films. I met a lot of really great, supportive, friendly and helpful people before, during and after production on Supermodels. It was so refreshing to see a group of people working towards the same goal who actually supported one another. Maybe it's because film making is a group effort while comedy is a solo enterprise.

Anyway, that's one of the reasons I never tried out for the show. The idea of living with other comics (especially ones who wanted to see you lose so they could succeed) was akin to voluntarily going to prison. Uck. But the biggest reason is that comedy is subjective. It's hard to compare comedians. What I like, you may hate. Like I dislike prop acts but Carrot Top is one of the most successful comics in the business. I love Lenny Clark (if you don't know who that is, see the film "When Standup Stood Out", about the Boston comics, and you will get a peek at the beginnings of this genius comic. I mean it, he's brilliant. And I still have all of the episodes of his TV show "Lenny" on tape. Lenny teased me that even HE doesn't have all of the episodes of Lenny!) But most people don't even know who he is. The reason most comedy shows have multiple performers is for that reason, because not everybody thinks the same thing is funny. Some people like dark humor, others like it raunchy, others like topical humor. So how do you say someone is a winner and someone is a loser?

'Last Comic Standing' has never had a female winner. Comedy is still a man's game. That's just the way it is. Look at the lineup at any comedy club and you will see a majority of males. It's generally considered that women and men will laugh at a male comic but it's hard to get guys to laugh at a female comic. I know it's not true, there are a lot of guys who can appreciate females doing comedy but tell that to the bookers of some clubs. Thank goodness for some of the great producers I have worked with who like women comics.

So that's why I've never tried out for the show. Look, I'd love national TV exposure. I've won comedy competitions before. Am I funnier than some of the comics on the show? Well, I'd like to think so. Watching some of the acts last night was painful (and my family laughs at me when I finish the joke before the comic on TV does.) But I miss comedy, I really do. I love writing and making films. But there is something about standing on a stage, microphone in hand, telling jokes and hearing the audience laugh...well, it's a feeling that is hard to describe. It's an amazing ego boost (unless you bomb, then it's a gut wrenching experience) and for me, it's a giving feeling. To know, that even if just for a few minutes, you took someone who had a bad day or a bad week, and you made them laugh and forget their problems, well, that's just a really cool thing. So I hope the people on the show appreciate the opportunity to make so many people laugh. And I wish them luck. But I'm glad it's not me.

Stop and smell the laurels

Okay, so one of the cool things about entering film festival (and then actually getting into a film festival) is the laurel leaves.



Laurel leaves date back to ancient Rome and Greece where they were awarded to winners of athletic events, prized politicians, famed citizens, etc. Today we give gold medals or statues or stars on the walk of fame. But in the film fest world we get the official laurel leaves. These golden fronds fan words like "Official Selection" and "Grand Prize Winner".

In the picture I'm receiving a lovely plaque and flowers when my film "Supermodels" won the "Special Jury Prize for Originality of Vision" at the Las Vegas International Film Festival. It's a really nice plaque but it's heavy, bulky and hard to display all of the time, say when I'm just hanging out at the mall. Laurel leaves are easy to put on a poster, DVD or other promotional materials.

See the picture of the leaves for the FAIF International Film festival? They are pretty and portable! Hence a filmmakers love of the laurel leaves. You can tout your own accomplishments without having to carry around some festival bling.

Now the phrase you hear is "Don't rest on your laurels", meaning don't be content just on the things you have already done, keep striving for more. But why is resting on your laurels such a bad thing. I mean, you had to accomplish something pretty good just to get your laurels. So why can't you take a break and just enjoy where you are? They also say "stop and smell the roses", meaning take a moment to appreciate what you have.

So I say, stop and smell the laurels. Now, get back to your unfettered quest for more!

Film Festivals Are Like College

Okay, so my short film, SUPERMODELS didn’t get into CineVegas. Big deal, you say. It’s not exactly a tragedy on the scale of say, the genocide in Darfur or the war in Iraq or even the pet food scandal. But it still feels pretty painful to me.
In the mind of a writer/director, one’s film is like one’s child. You conceive it, you nurture it, your deliver it unto the world. Your want your child to succeed in life, to excel, to make you proud. Film festivals are like college. You’d love for your child to go to Harvard or Yale (Sundance and Slamdance). Because they are prestigious, well known and well respected. It’s doesn’t necessarily mean a better education but it is ‘perceived’ to be better. But you also know your kid’s odds of getting in are pretty small, unless your kid was valedictorian. (In the film world, that means your film was probably a big budget, had name actors, etc.) So you also apply to some good but not Ivy League schools, your Stanford or Duke. Which are still great schools, and you’d still kill to get in.
But maybe your kid’s SAT scores aren’t the tops, or his GPA wasn’t as high as you would like (maybe your film had sound problems or just a lower budget than the other films). So you hope that because you have an ‘in’ you’ll get in despite some issues. (CineVegas is in my hometown, so I was hoping that as a Nevada filmmaker we would get in). So if you don’t get in there, you feel like maybe people don’t appreciate your child. So what if he’s not the best student, he’s a great kid who always cleans his room, helps around the house and is pretty popular. Now as parents, we sometimes think our kids are say more attractive than they are. That’s not the case with my film. I know it has flaws but it’s still a pretty cute film with a lot going for it. So getting rejected is hard because I know if the right people see this film, its future is bright. I’m not saying that my kid is going to be President of the United States, just that it has potential.
So now we are waiting to hear from our ‘safety schools’. You know, smaller universities and junior colleges (smaller film fests, niche fests where comedy isn’t the red-headed stepchild). We’d still like to get in to a top 10 school, of course. And we’ll wait, praying for a fat envelope instead of a thin one (or fat email instead of thin email as the case may be.) No, it’s not a tragedy to not get in. But I still want the world to think my child is special.