Merry Christmas, Officer (The Christmas Recap)

Here is my holiday recap, complete with visit from the police. Yes, the police. And no, my family isn't usually the kind that appears on a special holiday episode of "COPS".

Christmas Eve - Made a huge smorgasbord of appetizers. Huge. Way to much food. I admit it, I have a tendency to go overboard. And what's really bad is that before I say the food splayed across the table and kitchen counter, I was worried that I didn't have enough. We had mini cheeseburgers, mini meatball subs, seven layer dip, hot artichoke dip, pizza, boneless buffalo wings and deviled eggs with Christmas cookies and hot mini jelly doughnuts for dessert. And that was because the salami and cheese and cracker tray got put back in the fridge (not to fear, it got eaten on Christmas day.) It was a lot of food. Lots of mini food. Whoever invented the mini food was an evil genius. It's fun to eat and because it's so small you eat like a half dozen mini burgers without guilt because they are so small, only to find yourself enormously stuffed.

We also played the new Wii game I got for the family. "Raving Rabbids TV Party". What a fun and interactive game. It involves these insane bunnies who take over your television. They have these weird television show spoofs that turn into games you play with the Wii-mote, the nunchuck and the Wii Fit balance board. There are more than 65 different games but we only played a small portion of them. One game you had to sit on the balance board and use the wii-mote and nunchuck to mimic riding a motorcycle (steering with your butt) and one game that you had to dance to the Wham! song "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" (I won that one due to my 80's song experience and impressive dancing skills.) Some of the games frustrated my mom but we were all just learning the rules. Val ended up winning by one point over me at the last minute even though my brother had been in the lead most of the game. All in all it was a great game for any time you want to move, laugh and scratch your head.

After Will and Val left my mom and I wrapped presents and listened to Christmas carols. We were up till almost midnight. Long day.

Christmas Day - I scheduled dinner for 4pm so that we had a leisurely day. I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast. After a leisurely morning we got the table set for diner and I put the prime rib in the oven at around 12:30. After failing several times at prime rib to get it cooked to make everyone happy (2 people like it rare, 5 people like it medium well - don't yell at me that that's too overcooked, it's the way they like it and it was still delicious) I finally figured out how to please everyone...2 prime ribs, a small two pound cut for the rare ones, put in an hour before the large six pounder was done. It was rubbed with a salt/pepper/rosemary/thyme/Worcestershire rub then slow roasted. I had made the beets and cooked the carrots the day before and with Will and Val bringing the mashed potatoes, my prep was pretty simple. I made the Yorkshire pudding batter then sat back to relax until the roast came out and I glazed the carrots, heated the beets, roasted the asparagus and baked the Yorkshire pudding. Most of the cooking was accomplished in under thirty minutes which left plenty of time for PRESENTS!

Everyone got a crisp $50 bill from my Uncle and Roberta. Mine will go to buying a bottle of cologne I have my eye on. ("Fresh: Sugar Lemon" in case you care.) The Graminator got a purse, scarf and a ton of Kleenex (inside joke) from Will and Val, a new nightgown from my mom and a puzzle, bath products and a foot warmer from me. Mom got a gift card (for buying a dress for the wedding) and scarf from Will and Val and Gram and I got her new outdoor light fixture for the front of the house and I got her a broom vac for cleaning up the cat litter that the cat scatters daily without having to lug out the big vacuum. Val got the jewelry box she asked for from my mom and me, plus a heated throw to snuggle under from mom and a new DS game and funnel cake maker from me. Will got her a box of socks (inside joke from how he proposed to her last Christmas) and Gram got her a calendar. Will got a new stockpot (an pasta, olive oil and Italian seasoning) from mom and me, plus a new Wii game from me and Wii zapper from mom. I also got him the new Dennis Leary book and Val got him a book too. (If it seems like Will and Val didn't get each other much, remember that they are now headed to Modesto to celebrate Christmas a second time with her family so they had to split the presents up.) We gave Roberta a 'cozy kit' with a snuggly blanket, Audrey Hepburn movies, book, tea and new slippers. Will and Val got her a scarf and hair ties and a gift card to Teavana. Stuart got a bottle of Sake from Will and Val and a coffee table book on antique guitars from Mom, The Graminator and me. I also got him some tea and the worlds largest tea infuser (a joke since he said he uses 11 tea bags each morning.)

The funniest present moment was when my dog found her present from Will and Val. It was a box of gourmet dog cookies but on top was a tiny stuffed toy. She took the present off the stack and dragged the box along the floor, carrying the little stuffed toy in her mouth. The box of treats was almost a big as she was and it was hysterical to see her drag it across the room.

Now me. I got a set of Skull Candy earphones for my iPod and $40 from Will and Val to use for apps for my touch. Mom got me a clock radio/dock for my iPod and two new games for my DS along with a new stylus. If my presents make me sound like I'm a college age boy instead of a 36 year old woman, well, I like my toys, that's all I can say.

After presents I went to the the prime rib(s) out of the oven and start the Yorkshire pudding. My brother came in and helped me glaze the carrots when we heard someone bang loudly on the door. I peeked through the kitchen curtains to see a couple of Las Vegas Metropolitan Police officers on our front porch. We held the dogs back while my brother answered the door. It seems that there was a 911 call that disconnected from our house. It seems that the weather (it was pouring rain and the wind was howling) had knocked our phone out and in older neighborhoods like ours that sends a 911 signal out. When the operator couldn't call the number back they send a unit out to investigate. I checked the phone and sure enough, it was all crackly and had no dial tone. The officer said that it happens occasionally but he asked if he could come inside and check just to make sure everything was alright. Of course we let him in and he could see that we were just enjoying a family holiday. We tried to offer him some food for his trouble but he said they had to go check some other houses. God Bless the police officers who give up their holidays to make sure the rest of ours are safe. And it certainly added a memorable moment to our celebration. We never would have known about the phone otherwise because just a little while later when the rain and wind stopped, the phone rang with holiday greetings from our friend Brigeda.

After digesting a while it was time for dessert. The chocolate fudge cheesecake was delicious as was the apple crumb pie that Will and Val bought. My brother was complaining of sugar shock when he was done but it was still yummy. Here is a picture of the cheesecake. The 'poinsettia' decoration on top is made out of gum, can you believe it? Wish I could say I though of it but I saw it in a magazine. It's so cute!

Will and Val are now on their way to Modesto while they left Pax with us for the week. It was an awesome Christmas, although there is a huge pile of dishes in the sink that my mom and I just couldn't face last night. Hmm, maybe next year I should ask Santa for a dishwasher. But we have a new fridge full of leftovers and I have some new games to play and music to listen to. I hope that you all had as wonderful a Christmas as I did. Happy Holidays, Loyal Readers!

Are You Supposed To Be Tired After A Holiday Weekend?

Okay, it was a lovely holiday weekend but I think I'm more tired than I was before!

Friday was a lovely barbecue - I made slider sized hamburgers, potato salad, homemade baked beans, corn on the cob and a blueberry pie that stuck to the pan terribly (which is probably why the recipe said to use parchment paper but I didn't have any so I used foil but it definitely needed the parchment) but the pie, once scraped into a bowl with some vanilla ice cream was still delicious. We then played Wii. I rented some games and we loved "Carnival Games" which was all those midway game you see at fairs. It was fun. And we rented "Smarty Pants", which is a trivia game. My brother really like that one, probably because he beat me, two games to one. I'll be honest, I usually kick butt in trivia (hey, I was on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" after all) but he was on fire. After Will and Val left I went outside to watch the fireworks around the neighborhood. I was amazed at all the aerial fireworks. (are those legal? They never had those when I was a kid!) The fireworks scared my dog, Java. It was kind of funny, in the house she was all brave and barky but when we went outside she got all scared and wanted to be held.

Saturday I had a meeting at Smidgits where I got assigned by "Captain Kelly" to start handling promotions on a couple of Internet channels. We have a script read through tomorrow. There is a lot of work and I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

Sunday Will and Val came over and we ordered pizza (N.Y. Pizza and Pasta, they are delicious!) and played more Wii. This time it was "Beach Sports". There are several games on it too and we played Bocce (Will won, but once again my mom picked it up so fast, she was like some Bocce queen) and Disc Golf (like Frisbee Golf). It was funny to be playing games that are played outdoors but indoors. It was better than playing in 108+ degree heat. (The heat just sucks the energy right out of me.)

Then I watched the movies "Semi-Pro" with Will Farrell and "Vantage Point" with Dennis Quaid. I really liked "Vantage Point", it was an interesting way to tell the story, even though I had some parts figured out ahead of time. It was definitely a thriller and it kept me thinking the whole time so I give it a "rent this" rating. I wasn't as impressed with "Semi-Pro" (gulp, now I bring down the wrath of the Farrell-ites). It seemed that the movie couldn't decided what it wanted to be, a raunchy comedy or an underdog sports movie. It ended up being neither very well. The whole story line with Woody Harrelson was completely lost (or so badly underwritten that it came across as really pointless). I think the writers tried to re-write "Major League" into a basketball movie then added the "Will Farrell" tone to it. Trust me when I say it, "Major League" did it much better. There was one funny line, when Will Farrell's character says "It's just like the Titanic, but it's full of bears." It's the only line that made me laugh.

So when I read back, it seems like all I did was have fun this weekend. But I'm tired. Who knew having all that fun could be more tiring than working?

My Mom and the Wii

My mom is so funny when it comes to the Wii. She's going to be an age that she'll kill me if I mention but her kids are in their mid-thirties so you can guess. I got our family a Wii for Christmas (stood in line, in the cold, etc.) We play it every Sunday when my brother and his fiancee come over. We usually go to lunch and then come home and play Wii and have whatever evil dessert I have invented that week. This week we went to breakfast and so we played on the Internet and talked and then played Wii. My brother wanted to play tennis so I played him and he kicked my butt (and I used to be able to beat him in straight sets so I guess I need to start practicing again). Then he played my mom.

Now every time my mom plays a new Wii game, she picks it up really fast. Like she usually beats ALL of us, swiftly and soundly. So fast in fact that she must be some kind of video game genius. So the same thing happened this week with tennis. Within seconds she and my brother were volleying for a long, long time. Finally my brother beat her but only because she hasn't yet figured out how to play both the front and back of the court characters yet. Once she does, look out. (The only thing she hasn't kicked butt in is Mario Cart. She can't keep her car on the track. So far, we can beat her in that one.)

I posted pictures of my mom and brother playing (shh, don't tell, they would both probably kill me), and that's Val (my future sister-in-law) on the chair watching them. My mom turns into Venus and Serena while she's playing, she gets into a stance and runs around like she's on an actual court. It's very entertaining.

This week my mom wondered aloud if anyplace rented Wii games so we could try some more out. I told her that they did, especially up at Hollywood Video and she wanted to go rent some. RIGHT NOW. Like she's 12 and couldn't wait. Her earnestness made Val and I crack up. She then volunteered her accumulated gift certificates from Best Buy so we could go buy some games. I'm telling you, she was like a little kid, who couldn't wait to get more, More, MORE.

Next we want the Wii Fit, which I would have already gotten but they are sold out everywhere. Can't Nintendo just put enough out so everybody can get one? XBox and Playstation seem to be able to do that. It's really annoying.

Will and Val are going on vacation this week but I promise, when they get home, I'll take my mom to the video store and get her some games.

Sunday, Sunday

Okay, so Sunday is my day to get very little accomplished. I got no writing done...zero, zip, zilch. I read the paper, went to Best Buy where I spent money I shouldn't have (but my justification is that I had a gift certificate) had lunch with my family (a lovely little meal at Ruby Tuesday's, one of the few places where the salad bar still exists, and quite a nice one!) then spent the afternoon playing Wii, munching on the apricot torte from Trader Joe's (a la mode, of course) and then capped it off by watching a few Netflix movies.

Now I thought when I quit my job I would have lots of time to watch lots of movies. My plan was to go to the movies every Friday and watch at least six Netflix rentals a week. All of which is to be categorized under research, of course, since I am a screenwriter. Well, I haven't been to the theater at all and have watched a total of six movies. Yes, that's right, I have watched less movies since I quit that I did when I was working. Which makes me happy that I'm not sitting around watching movies instead of working but sad because I love movies. So have to get my butt in gear and do some watching! You can't write commercial schlock if you don't see what schlock is out there (remember, I aspire to be a hack).

So this weekend I watched all of my Netflix movies, one that I have had for over a month (the others I just mailed back, unwatched). First was "Dan in Real Life", starring Steve Carrel of The Office. Lovely, sweet little movie if you can get past the slight ick factor of brothers sleeping with the same woman. But other than that it's charming and I want to marry into a large Kennedy-esque clan that plays touch football in a cape type setting. It looked like so much fun to be in a big family with a talent show night. (I don't know anyone who does that in real life, but it looked idyllic.) I definitely recommend you see this film.

Next was "August Rush". Just go into it knowing it's a fairy tale in a modern setting. Completely unbelievable in every way. The music was awesome and you get to see Jonathan Rhys Myers (see previous post) looking hot, brooding a lot and singing (he was surprisingly quite good). You also get to see Kerri Russell looking doe-eyed and mostly moving zombie like through the film ("Waitress" was a much better example of her acting talents.) A nice turn from Robin Williams as the evil 'Fagin' type character and the kid who played Evan/August was really good although I would have directed his performance a bit differently.

Finally, "I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With". I wanted to like this movie, I did. It got decent reviews. And I love Chicago/Second City people (Chicago is second only to Boston on my comedy scale). I adore Bonnie Hunt, adore her. "Return to Me" is one of my favorite films and I have been a faithful follower of hers forever (anyone else remember "Davis Rules"? of "The Bonnie Hunt Show"? or "The Building"? I didn't think so) and we share the same birth date (she's older). So when I saw that she was in it I was willing to watch even if it meant sitting through Sarah Silverman playing the same creepy crazy girl she has been typecast into (or maybe she is just a creepy crazy girl). And I like Jeff Garlin and the rest of the Second City cast he brought along with him (he wrote and directed and starred). And I wanted to like this film about a chubby actor living with his mom and not dating much (hmmm, why do I relate?). But his character came off as a bit unsympathetic and sad. There were some moments of sheer brilliance - a remake of the Ernest Borgnine classic "Marty" starring Aaron Carter and Gina Gershon, big hoot! and the part with Poncho Boy was too funny. But I wanted more from the character than he wanted for himself. So I guess what I'm saying was that the side bits were funnier than the whole. I give it a 'watch it on cable' recommend. When you do watch it, grab a tub of tapioca. And people, hire Bonnie Hunt more, she's terrific!

Now about the Wii. I love the Wii (see this post) and I can't wait for the Wii Fit. But we needed some new games so I bought Game Party (don't bother) and Mario Kart. Yes, the one with the Wii wheel. Okay, can I just say my thumbs hurt? And I crashed like a million times. My brother is pretty good, my sister-in-law to be Val is really good and my mother was hysterical to watch as she crashed, bumped, got turned around and basically sucked. It was so much fun. I practiced a bit more last night and I think I might some day get to the point where I don't embarrass myself, as long as I don't play against anyone under thirty. If you don't already have a Wii, get one. They are so much fun, no matter what your age - heck Grandma is 87 and she plays with it!

Wii and the Pathetically Unathletic

Okay, so I got a Wii for my family for Christmas. Yes, I stood in line early one cold December morning in hopes of scoring one of these video game systems, after even thinking about buying a black market Wii at double the price.

Why? I'm not a video game person by nature. Sure, we had Pong whan I was a kid but that was no more than an animated Etch-a-Sketch really and my bouts of playing were pretty short, as Barbie's life was far more interesting (some day I'll post about why Barbie is the reason I became a writer). Sure, I played Ms. Pac Man like all of my friends, since I was a child of the 80's, but I was never a high score, as most of the time I heard that blooping sound as Ms. Pac Man was eaten by the ghosts. So why was I so obsessed with obtaining the Wii? Because I heard it was a video game system for the video game retarded like me.

Families could use the Wii, not just the shaggy-haired video game obsessed teenage sons, hunched over their controllers furiously killing assorted, aliens/terrorists/cops/whatever or battling orks/elves/hobbits/whatever in the modern day version of Dungeons and Dragons. (Geek that I was, I never got into DnD, but I watched my brother play and it always seemed too complicated with their many sided dice, graph paper, thick books and folders of character information). Older people in nursing homes were using Wiis, I figured, why not me?

So we began playing Wii as a family. My brother and his fiancee had used the Wii at other peoples homes so they became our guides. We played for hours on New Years Eve for hours and every Sunday since. My mother can kick our butts in bowling and she's pretty good at golf too (she's not so good at tennis, she still tries to play during the replays too.) My grandma likes the bowling although we had to make a few modifications for her 87 years (she holds the Wii remote upside down to make it easier) and my brother and I are pretty competitive at tennis.

Now I am athletically challenged (the PC term for spazz). But in my mind's eye I'm athletic. I can always imagine that one day I'll suddenly enjoy exercise, that perhaps it's just a matter of finding the right sport. We had tennis rackets as kids and while I could never actually play tennis, I was really good at serving the ball not just over the net but over the high fence surrounding the court as well. (In baseball this would be considered a home run but in tennis it's frowned upon). I had my parents buy me a football and a basketball one Christmas (they were shocked when their chubby little bookworm daughter wanted athletic gear as a present but, bless them, they got them for me) I was convinced that all I need to become athletic was a little practice. So I would take my balls over to the schoolyard and practice in secret, knowing that one day the moment would arise when I could show off my athletic prowess and impress all of my teammates. After all, that's how it works in movies, right, the nerdy little kid catches the winning touchdown or shoots the winning basket in the last second of the game? But I could only make a basket by 'grannying' the ball (holding the ball with both hands between your legs then thrusting them forwards, hoping it would arc towards the basket and not end up behind you) but since this move is time consuming and embarrassing (and never used in the NBA) I never made that glorious shot. I might have made a winning catch in football, had anyone ever thrown the ball even vaguely in my direction but knowing me, I probably would have just ducked to avoid it. So I was always the last kid picked for teams (except once, and David Newton will be my hero forever and ever) and I never did find a sport I can excel in.

But then along comes the Wii. You create your own character (a Mii) that looks like you (mine even has my double chin) and you play a variety of games - tennis, baseball, bowling, boxing and golf. And with a little practice I have become marginally competent. And for me, marginal competence is the equivalent of Olympic level excellence. I can now play tennis and actually volley the ball for more than ten seconds. I have broken the score of 100 in bowling (something I have yet to achieve in the real world) and I can shoot for par on a nine hole course. Best of all, my Wii age has come down from sixty-eight to twenty-seven! The Wii has given me back my mind's eye vision of myself as an athlete. When I'm playing Wii, I'm Maria Sharipova or Tiger Woods or some dude who's the top guy in bowling. (His name is probably Herb, but I don't know that for sure, which goes to show you how little respect the sport of competitive bowling gets). And I don't even have to go out in the heat, or put on rented shoes, or lug a heavy bag of clubs around. You can do it in your air conditioned living room in your underwear if you want (not that I do that). And you can impress your family that, at last, you don't suck quite so bad.

Next I want to get Guitar Hero for my Wii. After playing Wii sports, I suspect that if I get Guitar Hero I may be something of a musical genius and destined to become a rock star. Which would be quite an accomplishment for a girl who couldn't even play the Flute-a-Phone in elementary school.