Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Ten Reason I Could Never Be on Dancing With The Stars


10. I'm not a B-List Celebrity.
9. Two left feet, tied to 2 uncoordinated legs, connected to totally spastic body.
8. Boobs are way too small compared to other women on the show.
7. Allergic to feathers and sequins since my showgirl days.
6. Impossible to listen to criticism from Len without crying.
5. Would injure or kill partner trying to lift me.
4. Restraining order from Tom Bergeron requires me to stay at least 500 feet away.
3. I get dizzy when I spin.
2. Can't understand a word Bruno is saying.
1. I hate spray tans.

Last night Jeffrey Ross went home (as he should, he was awful, and unfunny too). Tonight I think it'll be Susan Lucci. Cloris Leachman should go, but she's so darn hammy that America might keep her another week. She's terrible, and not really dancing at all, but she's 82 and once you factor that in she's not all that bad. I don't think she'll make it past next week if she doesn't go home tonight, it's funny now but the shtick is going to wear thin really quickly. My early favorites are Lance Bass and Brooke Burke. This three night thing is too long though. Five hours the first week? Give me a break. But Mom and The Graminator like it too so what's a girl to do but TiVo everything else and settle in for a little dancing?

3 comments:

Maura said...

I could never be on it either. As a former disco queen I love to dance, but there's just no way I could do any of those crazy moves without injuring myself or my partner! I would love to wear those outrageous costumes, though.

I watch this show once in a while, usually as it gets closer to the finals. In the earlier episodes I just feel too bad for those who are really not good dancers. It's bad enough to see them struggle through the steps but I feel even worse for them as they have to stand there and listen to the poor reviews, especially as I know they worked so hard to get that far.

I've always loved that old saying "Dance like nobody is watching" so I hope you won't let those ten reasons ever stop you from dancing around in your living room whenever the spirit moves you!

Shae said...

Oh, I won't ever stop dancing, I just won't do it in front of ten million people. If a song moves me, I'm going to dance to it (I'm probably also going to sing to it, much to the dismay of people around me!)

Maura said...

LOL - Sing like nobody's listening!!!! :)

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