La Turista Loca

I got to see the rough edit of Vegas Schmegas on Saturday (a rough edit means that there are still incomplete elements like music or segments still missing) but it can give you an idea of how a project is coming together. It looks great, Mark and Jon did a killer job editing. But it's running a little shorter than we would like. So we needed to add a couple of sketches. Now it's been a while since I wrote the original episodes and I knew we needed to incorporate more "Vegas" into the show (it is titled "Vegas Schmegas" after all.) But permits are expensive...okay, permits are cheap, insurance is expensive and we have already spent our insurance budget. So it's time for a little 'guerrilla' filming.

We came up with the idea that Jimmy Germano and I would pose as tourists and just improv about what we saw and did, and film it hand-held with my consumer video camera so that we wouldn't draw attention. Now we aren't the first film crew to do this. I saw a short film at a festival called "Flip" that took place in Las Vegas. They filmed all over the place. During the Q&A after the movie I asked the director how he got all the location permission and he told me he didn't (I don't think I'm breaking confidence here since he told the whole audience.) So whenever the guys would say "we can't film there, we don't have permits" I would think that since other people did it, why couldn't we? I don't want to break any laws but until the pilot is purchased, it's a moot point. When the pilot is purchased, it will either be sold as a 'concept', meaning what we filmed will never be shown publicly, or we will make more episodes with someone else's cash, in which case we can re-shoot those scenes with permits. So legally, we are covered under the same laws that cover any other tourist. Ethically it might be a gray area, but I'll just add that to my list of things I feel guilty about.

So last night Jimmy and I became "Gina and Dominick from Teaneck, New Jersey". I wore a Las Vegas t-shirt and those cheap plastic beads that they hand out at Mardi Gras (all the casinos give them away too.) It was pretty funny the way our crew handled the filming. Jimmy and I wore lav mikes (a wireless microphone pack you wear on your person with the wires concealed) which were connected to the big camera for sound only, the camera in Mark's backpack and he was listening to the sound from his iPod earphones so that if you saw him you would think he was just some guy listening to his music. Kelly walked ahead of us shooting still photos of us while Charisma strolled along with her consumer camera capturing us from a wide angle. We looked like random tourists who didn't know each other. Jimmy and I used my camera to capture our improv.

We filmed at the Fremont Street Experience. Fremont Street used to be just that, a street, kind of a main drag through downtown. My dad used to cruise Fremont during his high school days. But as "The Strip" became more of where the tourists went, downtown casinos fell out of favor. So they turned several blocks of Fremont into a covered, traffic-free area with lots of kiosks for shopping, street entertainers and the world's largest big screen on the canopy overhead where they play hourly music tributes and videos. It's like a big, permanent street fair with stores and casinos and gambling lining the way. It was definitely a great place to make fun of. People walk around with these giant "yard long' drinks or drinks in huge plastic footballs and act crazy. It's like Disneyland on acid.

Now I love improv and I have no problem looking like an ass in front of total strangers. I used to do an interactive dinner theater and found that the more obnoxious I got, the more people liked it. So that's how I was last night. And we had so much fun. I even had a crowd of people clapping for me at one point and taking pictures. (I am in so many tourist photos I should charge!) We even filmed inside one casino (I know it's a no-no but no one stopped us and I doubt many tourists know you aren't supposed to film inside if no one tells them). And we won $12.50 in a slot machine. All of this footage will have to be mined by the wonderful editor that Mark is to even know if we got the two to four minutes of comedy gold nuggets we need. The idea is to have whatever is funny go into a segment where it's the blog of a couple of tourists on their Las Vegas vacation. I think it will be pretty funny if it works. And I can't wait to go to the Strip to film there too.

But I want to put out there for the hundreds of people on Fremont Street last night that if you saw some crazy lady in a purple Vegas t-shirt who was loud and obnoxious and making a complete ass of herself and her 'husband'...it was an act. I'm an actor. I'm a normal person who does not usually dance in the middle of the street. I don't, as a general rule, make suggestive comments about shrubbery, ask strangers where the obtained their alcohol or loudly comment on other women's breast size. I usually am the girl no one ever notices. So I wasn't drunk or insane. It was an act.

But all the other people exhibiting the same bizarre behavior? Those were tourists.

It's Picture Day!

I'm too tired to write much today (why does 'spring forward' kick my butt so much?) so I thought that since a picture is worth a thousand words, I'd give you ten thousand words (ah, if only it really was that easy.

Here is The Graminator, with her new glasses and haircut. Isn't she adorable? I think I'm going to put these in my wallet and when someone asks if I have kids I'm gonna pull out the pictures of my 'little one'.




Okay, it might not be as cute as Dyann's new haircut, but it's still cute.



Here are shots from Friday's Vegas Schmegas shoot. We worked hard, laughed a lot and made great comedy. What more can you ask for?






We had a great time filming even though it was a lot of work. But we got what we needed and we made the day. It's magic, I tell you, magic.

Crazy Busy but Fun

Hello Loyal Readers and thanks for checking in even when I've been slacking on the posts.

This week has been über busy. After a crazy weekend (Saturday was spent dress shopping for a dress for my mother for the wedding, getting fittings for Val and I for our wedding attire and assembling a giant Ikea bookcase for my mom, Sunday I assembled all the wedding invitations) I had to accomplish a lot this week.

My dress fitting made me realize that I've been slacking on my diet and exercise regimen (it fits but just barely) and if I'm going to look good for the wedding I had better jump back in with both feet. Plus the new movie starts filming the week after the wedding and I want to look good on camera, right? (Even if my character has a penchant for ugly Christmas sweaters.) It won't do any good for tomorrow though when I reprise my role as dominatrix for the final Vegas Schmegas shoot. Oh well. But it's crunch city for the next eight weeks.

The invitations for the wedding went out Monday (well, most of them anyway, I'm still waiting for a few addresses from the bride and groom) They turned out very well and were really personalized. It was a lot of work and I'm really glad it's a very small wedding because making twenty-five was enough. I would have hated to have to do two hundred!

We had a read through and blocking rehearsal last night for the movie. It was really cool and Kelly is using an interesting filming technique to keep it fast and furious. Movies take a LONG time to shoot and he has tried to get the schedule down to twenty-five shooting days which is really short. So he's shooting it in a different way so as to minimize the number of 'set-ups' we have to do. Set-ups are whenever you move the camera, because you have to move all of the lights and it takes forever. He's trying to figure out a way to capture what he needs with as few changes as possible. The way he's doing it feels better to me as an actor because it helps the scene flow better. Last night went great and I'm starting to feel very comfortable with my co-stars and my character. Fun, fun, fun!

Random question, but when do you RSVP for something? I sent out invitations to Val's bridal shower over two weeks ago and I haven't heard anything. I did put a deadline of March 15th for RSVP's, do you think everyone is waiting until the last minute? I guess I'm just worried that they never received the invitations. But I guess they would have been returned by the post office if that were the case.

Tomorrow is the Vegas Schmegas re-shoot. I have to confirm the location and then make set decorations today as well as pack my costume and makeup. But we should be close to finishing it up which will be nice and then we can send it on it's merry way to be bought by a major network and make us all rich (are you listening universe?) I would like to spend Saturday collapsed on the couch but we are in the process of re-decorating the house and my fingers are crossed that the new desk my mom ordered will be here on Friday and I can secretly put it together for her while she's at work on Saturday. (The entertainment center and bookcase were too massive for me to do alone so it was a whole family project.) I'll post pictures next week.

Okay, LRs, I have to go and start on all the things I need to accomplish today (it's also time for The Graminator's shower). Have a wonderful weekend and I'll see you on Monday!

I'm Going to Be a SUPERSTAR!

(I hope when you read the title of this post, you got the mental image of Molly Shannon doing her character of Mary Katherine Gallagher from SNL)

Okay, maybe not a SUPERSTAR. But I did get offered my first major role in a feature film. My frequent collaborator and film mentor Kelly Schwarze has written a very funny comedy and offered me one of the leading roles (actually, he wrote the part with me in mind.) I can't give the story away but for those who love movies like "Office Space", this will be your kind of film. I read the script over the weekend and it made me laugh out loud. I can't wait to get started on this. We should start pre-production in February and filming after we wrap on "Vegas Schmegas" (we will finish re-shoots on that in March.)

Kelly decided that it was time to get back to just having fun, instead of worrying about commercial success (which hasn't really come with any of his previous feature films, although you can get one of his movies on Netflix, which to me is some sort of success even if there isn't any money in it). What's interesting to me is that I was thinking the same thing at the same time when I had a great idea for the movie that I'm currently writing. We both pitched our script ideas to one another the same day but Kelly got his done first. So if we can pull it all together we will make two feature films this year. (Mine will be financed mostly on credit cards, a la "Clerks".) Best of all, these films are really about getting our friends together and making a fun film, which is what I loved so much about "Supermodels", the love and generosity of time that everyone gave and the great time we had doing it.

Which got me to thinking about killing myself. No, not the way you think. See, when I write and direct I do it as Shae Wilhite. But when I do stand up I do it as Shae Denin (you can read why here). But which name would I act under? I guess Wilhite because that's what my IMDB profile is under and it would be simpler. But I loved being Shae Denin and there were a few years where that's really how I thought of myself. But now I think it's time to integrate my personalities and just be Shae Wilhite. I may use Denin occasionally when I do stand up but only with producers who already know me that way, for everything else I'll just be plain old me. I'll miss being Miss Denin though. She was a heck of a lot of fun.

Now I have to finish the script I'm working on so we can put it into production when we get finished with Kelly's film. And I have to start writing my acceptance speech for when I win all of those awards. "I'd like to thank the Academy for this award...and for making me a SUPERSTAR!"

You Say You Want A Resolution

Okay, so it took a while for me to come up with my New Year's Resolutions, but they aren't something you want to rush into all willy-nilly and then break right away. I did really well with last year's resolutions, all except for the one with the radioactive spider, but I only said I would try, "if possible", on that one. (For last year's list, see here)

So what will I tackle this year? I was so giving last year that I feel entitled to be a bit selfish this year. So, in the interest of personal growth and change, here is this year's list.

1. I will lose twenty pounds by Will and Val's wedding. (It may require amputation of a major limb, but hopefully I can stand in such a way in the wedding photographs that it's not too noticeable.)

2. I will think about writing my own self help book that embodies a philosophy I have been working on for a while. It combines "The Secret" with feng shui, aromatherapy and yoga. I don't want to give it all away, but it involves you imagining yourself getting everything you want while you stand in the "tree" yoga position in a room with Eastward facing windows while lavender scented candles burn. (Tell me that's not a best-seller!)

3. I will find a hairdresser who will actually style my hair in such away that I don't go back to a ponytail within 72 hours. (Please, please, please.)

4. I will only eat organically grown, locally farmed, non-genetically modified, free-range, high fructose corn syrup free foods. (For at last one meal on the fourth Thursday of every month without an 'r' in it.)

5. I will wash my car at least twice a year. (Providing the weather is nice and the water police aren't watching.)

Okay, so those weren't exactly the resolutions most people have. Here is my real desire list,

1. Eat healthier, eat less, exercise more.
2. Moisturize more.
3. Finish the three writing projects I started last year.
4. Sell "Vegas Schmegas".
5. Complete the script Kelly and I are collaborating on.
6. Promote myself more, like by getting an agent or through self promotion.
7. Manage what little money I have so I can stay on sabbatical through 2009.
8. Worry less and enjoy more.
9. Be more patient.
10. Get "The Sunday Box" filmed and on the festival circuit.

That list is going to take a lot more work than the first one. Guess I better get started, huh?

2008: The Year In Review

Okay, tomorrow begins 2009 and I'll post my resolutions tomorrow. But today, let's see what happened to me in 2008.

January- I miss the Sundance Film Festival for the first time in years due to financial issues. (Had plans to make it up in 2009 but that doesn't look good right now). On January 18 I give notice at my job and begin a month long crying streak.

February - Last day of work at Alverson, Taylor, Mortensen and Sanders, just three days shy of my seven year anniversary. Very bittersweet, the most poignant part is knowing that they will all get along without me and forget me very soon, which they all promise not to, but they do as evidenced by the fact that no one has ever called me (although a few have sent emails.) I console myself with tons of marked down Valentine's candy.

March - Plant a garden then head to Alamogordo, New Mexico to work for a government contractor friend at Holloman Air Force base. A one week trip lasts almost a month. Still, I loved living in the mountains, spending time with "My Bill" and Blue Bell ice cream. But it was really hard to be away from my family for so long. "My Bill" is back in Las Vegas and it makes me happy.

April - I return home and then promptly quit the new job, because the "only 10 hours a week and you can work from home" is in reality about 60 hours a week at the office. But I am back with my loving family and only gained one pound eating all that ice cream and green chile cheeseburgers.

May - Get some vicious strain of an obviously terrorist-made cold/flu/sinus infection and am sick for nearly three weeks. Like really sick. Like my mom is going to kick me to the curb if she hears me whine any more. In further proof of her sainthood, she does not kick me to the curb. First table read of "Vegas Schmegas".

June - Film the faux trailer for "Brick Morgan". Write the short film "The Sunday Box" (which is set to film in 2009, starring the wonderful John Baniqued, for a festival release). Watch Pax while Will and Val vacation in Wisconsin, the vacation destination of America.

July - Watch Abbey Schwarze, dog extrodinare of Kelly and Charisma Schwarze. Possible career as dogsitter in the future apparently. Second table read of "Vegas Schmegas", which gives me goose bumps because it's so good.

August - The Graminator falls and breaks her pubic bone. After three weeks of hospitals and rehab facilities, we get her home, but with pneumonia, a massive bed sore and having lost over 8 pounds. With home care, physical therapy and me stuffing food down her gullet, she makes a fairly good recovery, but the lasting impact on her mentally and physically necessitates my becoming her full time nurse/therapist/caregiver. It's a labor of love that has changed my life forever. In other news, we are adopted by a cat who took up residence in my garden. After a month of trying to find her another home, we let her into ours, where she promptly takes charge and becomes the fattest, laziest cat in the world. She only drinks out of a human glass.

September - "Brick Morgan" premieres. Mom celebrates her 60th birthday with a bash attended by her entire family. Much champagne is consumed and The Graminator begins walking again. The highlight of my birthday is getting highlights in my hair. Too Blonde. The economy is in terrible shape, with the stock market going up and down faster than a carousel on crack. In assessing our financial situation, I realize we aren't doing too bad since I'm already unemployed and due to the economy the day-old bread store my mom works at is doing well. My mom is truly the 'bread-winner' of the family, since one of the perks if her job is free bread.

October - The return to comedy for "Shae Denin". It feels good to be back on stage after a long absence. I am asked to be Maid of Honor at Will and Val's wedding. This starts a diet that results in a loss of 8 pounds. I don't gain any back over the holidays. In fact, I lose one more. But January will see the return of the diet and exercise regimen. In politics, the ads get so frequent and so negative that I swear I will turn the television off. (This doesn't actually happen.)

November - The busiest month of the year, with three weeks of filming of "Vegas Schmegas". The shoot is a great success, although supplemental filming will take place in 2009. I debut my role as a dominatrix, and consider it for a new career should the economy fail to recover. I also take part for the first time in National Novel Writing Month, an endeavor to complete a 50,000 word novel in thirty days. I complete the novel by November 30th. In other historic news, Barack Obama is elected the first "black" president of the United States. (I put black in quotes because he is also white but everyone ignores that.)

December - I burn the NaNoWriMo novel, as it is terrible, although possibly not as bad as some published novels I have read over the years. We get a new fridge and washer and begin the process of bringing the house into the 21st century. Christmas is celebrated with friends and family, and the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. Which brings us to...

Today. I hope your New Years Eve is safe and fun. And I hope your 2009 is bright and wonderful and the fulfillment of many of your dreams. I know mine will be.

I've Been Naughty

I sure hope Santa doesn't cross me off the nice list because I've been neglecting my blog. I have been so bad to you, Loyal Readers and I'm sorry. I wish I had a good excuse, like a breakthrough in my cure for cancer or an urgent call to help broker peace in the Middle East. But no, just a combination of busy and lazy (it's a bad combination). I have decided that the reason people make so man New Years Resolutions is because it's hard to get anything accomplished during December.

Early edits on Vegas Schmegas have indicated that we not only need to re-shoot some scenes for technical reasons but also some additional scenes need to be written and shot. This weekend we will re-shoot at the motel location and shoot some narration that will help tie the project together. We may have to re-shoot the infamous 'dominatrix' scene as well due to a style change by our director. In the end it will make the finished product look incredible but I'm a little daunted at the idea of re-shooting that scene, primarily because I have indulged a bit too much in the holiday treats (I haven't actually gained any weight but I'm sure it's there, hiding, just waiting for me to put those fishnets back on!)

Last week and this week have been busy due to some major appliance issues. The washer stopped spinning, leaving the clothes clean but sopping wet which is especially bad when you have a dryer with no heat (don't ask, it has something to do with my mother's moral indignation against paying for electricity to heat when we live in the desert, so we line dry our clothes.) This was compounded by the need for a new refrigerator, the old one having been held together with hope and duct tape. One of the joys of living in an old house (oops, sorry, now we are referring to it as "mid-century" so it sounds almost chic) is that things are old and should be replaced but they still 'sort-of' work and so we just adapt to the quirks of each thing. (Oh, I could tell you stories about how to get our 45 year-old toilets to function somewhat properly but I don't want to frighten you.) My mother's siblings gave her gift cards for a new fridge for her birthday in September but we hadn't gone yet (again, a combination of busy and lazy). The more pressing need for a new washer sent us to Lowe's to buy some new appliances.

We bought a lovely new high efficiency front-loading washer (which my mother still doubts can be getting our clothes clean using that little water) and a new fridge (so pretty, clean and white and with nary a duct tape anywhere). They were delivered on Monday (bless you delivery men who were here and gone BEFORE the scheduled delivery time and were so courteous and helpful) which meant eating all the ice cream and superfluous food over the weekend and cleaning it out and moving all the accumulated junk around the old washer. Then I had to learn how to use our new washer (which has a program display that I think also controls NASA satellites) and put in new shelving to accommodate the new 'front load' configuration and then do DOZENS of loads of laundry that had piled up during the week without a washer. Plus I got to arrange the new fridge the way I wanted it (my mom gave me the privilege since I do most of the cooking. I love it. The condiment drawers are so large that all our old stuff fit and we still have tons of room left over. I'm trying to resist the urge to BUY MORE CONDIMENTS!!!!)

My mother is working six days a week since one co-worker left for a job at Encore (congrats Brigeda!) and her manager is quitting to move back to California due to foreclosure, leaving her the sole employee at that store. Someone from the Henderson store is there to help her until they can get people hired but it still means working every day except Sunday (thanks goodness the store is closed one day a week!)

Still, even if I have been busy and lazy, it's no reason to shirk my blogging duties. I promise to be better and get back to blogging daily. But I'll be honest, snuggling in bed on a cold winter morning is more appealing than getting up early to exercise and blog. But I'll be good Santa, honest I will. (Because he knows when I am sleeping and he knows when I'm blogging!)

Better than Advertised

Hello Loyal Readers! Thanks for bearing with me during this crazy month of November. Last week was spent recovering from the Vegas Schmegas shoot plus trying to catch up on NaNoWriMo. I also had my friend over to lunch for her birthday (made a fabulous mirin glazed salmon and am going to throw all other salmon recipes away), had to take the animals to the vet, went bridesmaids dress shopping (got a dress, yay, more on that in another post), had a production meeting (we're currently only $200 over budget. Also had sad news, the loss of a former Smidgiteer. Rest in Peace, Donald.

Now here's the reason for the title. Every week on my way to the production office I pass a restaurant on Durango called Gina's Bistro. For months I have looked at it and wondered about it. It's part of a weird looking strip mall and I could never tell if it was even open or what it was like inside. Still, my love of food made me look at it every time I passed. But it's a little far from home for a new restaurant that I'd never heard anything about so I never suggested to the family that we try it.

This week, in the Neon section of the local paper (for those not in Vegas, the neon is the weekly 'arts' pull out, with show information, movie reviews, restaurant guide, etc.) there was a review of Gina's Bistro. The review was smashing, with quotes like "Gina's Bistro may not look too much like Italy, but it sure tastes -- and smells -- like an authentic trattoria in the old country." It also carried a picture which showed an attractive interior which allayed my fears that it wasn't great inside (remember, the exterior is pretty, er, uninspiring strip mall-esque.) So I read the review to the family and they seemed interested, especially since our beloved Montesano's has closed all it's locations on our side of town (Gosh I miss those garlic knots.) I checked the website to see if they were open for lunch on Sunday but couldn't find their hours (Note to Gina: This is crucial information, put it on the website!) so I called and they were indeed open for lunch. So yesterday we made the trek.



When I read a review I'm usually skeptical. After all, the reviewer and I may be looking for different things. When I write professional restaurant reviews, I'm trying to cover the basics so that I can give readers a sense of what the restaurant is all about. But when I'm eating out for pleasure, it's a whole different story. Like I would never put this in a professional review, but for you I'll tell you that you should use the restroom before you visit Gina's. It's not that the bathroom was disgusting, it's actually fairly nice (I've been in way worse, let me tell you) but it's outside the restaurant and you have to get the key and it's a little creepy. Gina's is beautiful inside and the bathroom is nicely decorated too but the 'get the key' thing feels like a bad gas station instead of a lovely restaurant. The bistro also isn't set up to be handicap friendly, although they quickly moved a table so that we could push The Graminator's wheelchair to the table. These are very minor quibbles at best.

The thing I want the most when I go out to eat is great food. Ideally it would be great food in a nice atmosphere with good service and on that, Gina's Bistro is a winner. The only people working the front of the house are the delightfully Italian accented Gina and our equally accented waitress (whose name escapes me now but who felt like an Italian aunt giving us lunch.) Although the restaurant was empty when we arrived it was soon at half capacity (which because Gina's is so small inside makes it feel cozy and familial) but service never suffered. Even though we just ordered water, our glasses were never empty. The bread basket came as soon as we ordered (although the delicious bread deserved better than the "European style butter whipped margarine" that came with it. What the hell is "European style butter whipped margarine" anyway? Next time we'll just use the olive oil that's on the table.)

The menu, like the restaurant, is small. But don't let the laminated blue paper fool you. It's packed with gems. As Val put it, "I've never been to a place before where I wanted to try just about everything on the menu." The Graminator ordered the Pollo Parmigiana which Heidi Knapp Rinella described in her review as "Chicken parmigiana ($12.95) may seem about as garden-variety as its gets, but this lily was gilded with a layer of sliced eggplant, cut thinly so that both the flavor and texture were wonderfully delicate. The customary layer of mozzarella and a good dose of marinara -- pulpy and thick, made of chunked tomatoes instead of crushed or pureed, and cooked slowly to enable the seasonings to penetrate through to the soul -- completed the dish." but she failed to mention that it is enormous, enough to feed two people, and sided with spaghetti marinara. It was delicious and Grams will be having it for lunch for the next few days. Mom ordered the Conchiglie Campagnola (Shells pasta, diced chicken, broccoli, sun dried tomatoes and roasted garlic) while Val got the Pollo Boscaiola (Chicken breast with mushrooms and cream sauce) and Will had the Involtino Di Pollo Florentina (Rolled chicken breast stuffed with spinach and fontina cheese) all of which were delicious. Will and Val's came with roasted potatoes which they raved over and broccoli which was crisp-tender and dressed simply (but deliciously) with olive oil and salt and pepper.

Okay, I saved the best for last. I got the Pappardelle Tre Bocconi which the menu lists as "Home made wide fettuccine with prosciutto, bacon, mushrooms, mini veal meat balls in a tomato sauce" but menu descriptions sometimes don't do justice to the meal they are describing. Tre Bocconi translates as "three bites" according to our waitress. The pappardelle were soft ribbons of pasta swathed in a sauce that Gina should be ashamed to call "a tomato sauce". Sure, it had tomatoes in it but it was far more velvety and rich that some plain old marinara. It was rich and earthy and I suspect had at it's base a rich veal stock and red wine in addition to tomatoes. Thick slices of chopped bacon added a smoky note while the prosciutto gave a salty counterpoint. Slices of mushroom added to the depth of the sauce then absorbed the sauce back in, becoming a meaty, chewy flavor in themselves and lots of green peas added color to the dish. The little veal meatballs were moist and the whole dish worked together. I am not exaggerating when I say that this is the best pasta dish I have ever eaten. Ever. EVER. If I saw this on the menu of a more upscale restaurant, I would expect to pay around $32.00. And it would be worth every penny. But at Gina's it was $12.50. So delicious that I'm telling you, I want it again, now. I will be dreaming of this pasta. I almost want the recipe but I know I could never make it as well as they do, so I'll just settle for going to Gina's. A lot.

I have never read a "rave" restaurant review that I agreed with completely. But this was the first time that I found that the restaurant EXCEEDED the review. Maybe she wanted to give Gina's some business but keep it from getting too crowded? I can't blame her there. It's a really small restaurant and I don't want to not be able to get in (although they do have take out so if I ever can't get a table I'll get it to go!) One young man, who was eating alone, said it was his second time there in a week. Now this was a guy who would have looked more at home at the local Micky D's but he said the lasagna was so good he just had to come back. I know just how he feels. The lasagna is definitely on my list to try but I'm really hoping someone else orders it so I can try it yet still have my Tre Bocconi. Yup, I am that greedy.

If you want some authentic and delicious Italian food, go to Gina's Bistro. Gina will greet you and even sit at your table if there is room for her to, and give you a hug on the way out. Watch the Italian channel on the TV. Listen to Bocelli playing in the background. And call me, because I want to go too!

It's (Almost) a Wrap and a Possible Career Change

After three weeks of intensive shooting, it's a wrap on principal photography on "Vegas Schmegas". Well, almost.

The motel location we were shooting at stands in the shadow of the Wynn Hotel. Literally in the shadow. Like so in the shadow that we lost shooting light at 3:30 and will have to go back and re-shoot some scenes so that all of the footage matches. And we still have a long list of things to do before we can finish editing on the project, including shooting some B-roll footage, recording some voice over, doing ADR, etc. But we are calling that "Second Unit" so that we could celebrate a wrap yesterday.

Thank you to all of the actors and crew who worked so hard to make this happen, we couldn't have done it without you. Most worked without pay and just did it for the love of being on set and working. That's what independent film making is all about. Let's pray that this project gets picked up so we can then reward everyone for their hard work.


So, after a really LONG shooting day on Friday (ten hour days on set are pretty normal, twelve hour days aren't uncommon but this one was fourteen hours long!) I may be considering a career change. How do you think I'd do as a dominatrix?
Yup, that's me in costume. The consensus on set was that the Graminator was right, I did look "nice". Although if the catcalls and whistles I got from the people driving down East Sahara were any indication, I could potentially make some money at it. It was warm all day on Friday, almost hot at points (about eighty degrees) but by the time we shot the dominatrix scene it was really cold and windy.


This is the most wonderful actress and person, Elly Brown, and me, huddled underneath Nathan's shirts in between takes. We were sooooo cold. I love Elly, she was a trouper, she was in every scene that day and was AWESOME. I want to write more stuff for her because she is so good. Usually, really beautiful women aren't all that great at comedy (they don't have to be, they are beautiful, duh) but Elly has great timing and killer comedic instincts. She's also so nice and really willing to do what it takes. And right now she's on a cruise with her husband basking in the sun on some tropical beach. I'd be jealous but she worked so hard, she deserves it!

This is Nathan Ferrier and Jimmy Germano as "Franke" and "Louie". They were great. Nathan is new to our band of merry players too, and he was awesome as well. Did I mention he's totally gorgeous but a nice guy to boot? (He's the one who gave up his own comfort to loan Elly and I his shirts on set when we were cold. He stood there in a t-shirt so we could get warm. Plus, he let us use him as a wind block.) He did a fabulous job this weekend and he's a great actor, he knew his lines and he was ready to work. Yesterday, we shot his scenes as "Stan the cab driver" and he made my lines sound even better than when I wrote them! It's hard when you are filming to see "the big picture" but the Stan scenes were really encapsulated so it was easy for me to see how great they are going to turn out, and damn is it good! It wasn't an easy part either, but Nathan pulled it off like it was no big deal. Plus he and Jimmy work really well together and I want to write them some more stuff.

It's amazing how creativity breeds the need to make more creative stuff but I thank everyone on set for giving me a 'creative energy boost'. I am fired up and ready to write. We all agreed that it was wonderful to be on set again. It is a blessing and a gift to the writer to hear their lines and see the scenes they wrote brought to life. So thank you to everyone who made this happen for the incredible gift you gave to me and to Kelly and to all of us who have been working for so long to get this project off the ground!

Mucho thanks and love to: Kelly, Mark, John B, Charisma, Denise, Jimmy, Marissa, Jon, Eddie, Zach, Elly, Nathan, Nicole, Shannon, Gary, Craig, Kelly's dad, the staff and patrons at My Cousin Vinny's, Irwin Kishner, the staff at the Somerset Motel, all the friends who showed up to play hookers and soccer moms and my family who covered for me watching the Graminator so that I could prep and be on set. No shoebox, you all are the best!

And thanks to you, Loyal Readers. Your support during this journey means more than I can ever tell you.

Making Headlines

Check out this week's column by Carol Cling in the Vegas Voice, a blog by Las Vegas Review Journal columnists.

SHOOTING STARS: TV pilot spoofs ‘Vegas Schmegas’
Posted by Carol Cling
Monday, Nov. 10, 2008 at 05:00 AM
Anyone who calls Las Vegas home knows all the clichés of life in Neon Nirvana, from the always-on lounge lizard to the showgirl-by-night, brain-surgeon-by-day.
And that’s exactly the kind of humor behind the locally produced TV pilot “Vegas Schmegas,” currently shooting weekends through November.
The pilot, from Las Vegas-based Vision Dynamics Entertainment, spoofs comical, commonly held stereotypes about Las Vegas.
You know the drill: “People live in hotels, showgirls wear their headdresses everywhere,” explains producer-director Kelly Schwarze, who hit on the idea of a Vegas sketch-comedy project while watching the British comedy troupe “Little Britain.” (Canada’s Kids in the Hall also provided inspiration, he says.)
“There are so many colorful people” in Las Vegas, Schwarze notes. So he and collaborator Shae Wilhite, a Las Vegas-based writer and comedian, came up with the “Vegas Schmegas” concept and created a variety of comedy sketches.
One focuses on a mom who takes the kids to school and shops in full showgirl regalia, another on a mobile wedding chapel that ambushes couples forces them to tie the knot. And then there’s the crabby cabby who’s always deflating visitors’ dreams.
Locals Elly Brown (a real-life showgirl who also appears in local theater productions) and Nathan Ferrier are among the performers featured in “Vegas Schmegas,” Schwarze reports.
A half-hour pilot, to be presented to various cable television producers, will feature “the best of the best” sketches being shot this month.

Stay tuned, Loyal Readers!

Updates to What is Going on in my World

Obama is the new President-elect (was there ever much doubt?) He has some tough decisions to make to get this county back on track when he takes office. Now he needs to put his money where his mouth is. I hope that he can deliver on his promises because I think this country is really counting on him.

Principal photography began on Vegas Schmegas on Saturday and I think it's looking great so far. The poker scene looked even better than I expected and the cast and crew really came through. Kudos to everyone. Especially Mark for some tricky lighting cues and Kelly for being a great director. Saturday I played a dealer so I got to be more of an actor than crew and it was fun. Everyone is doing such a great job that I feel a little superfluous, but I guess that's how a lot of writers feel on set. (We usually have a really small crew so I do more but we have actual help on this set. Still, I helped move tables and track and dolly and stuff so I'm not completely useless.) Next shoot is on Sunday, and we have two different sketches to film. It will be a good ramping up for the 14th when we have a twelve hour shooting day.

I am behind on my NaNoWriMo project, but I knew I would be since I was out of commission (writing-wise) over the weekend. I also started a new novel, not the WIP I thought I'd use, but I figured I would use the 50,000 word parameters to write my "Harlequin" novel. I have loved Harlequin since I was about eleven years old and I graduated from Little House on the Prairie Books and Nancy Drew novels to the paperback romances that my Grandmother read. The ones she bought were always set in England or Canada and the heroines were always nurses and they spelled things differently like "humour". I was excited when I finally discovered ones set in America. I think that's what this one will be for, the Harlequin American line. It's an idea that kicked around my head so I'm letting it out for NaNoWriMo. I'm going to have to put in a few 'cram' sessions to make the word count by deadline but I can always re-write next month.

And Thanksgiving is coming so I'm trying out a few things in advance to see if I can improve upon the traditional dinner I usually make. I'm not allowed to mess with it much, we MUST have turkey and The Graminator's stuffing and my home made pumpkin pie (with fresh, not canned, pumpkin). I have been reading about 'dry brining' your turkey and I tried it out on a turkey breast last night so I could see how it was before trying it on a whole turkey. I usually inject my turkey with an herb steeped butter mixture but I thought I'd try this instead. My mom told me not to mess with it, that my turkey was already great, but I had to check it out for myself so I bought a turkey breast and dry brined it. The result? The vote was unanimous and I am NOT dry brining the turkey this year, we are sticking with injecting. While the turkey was fine and stayed moist, it didn't have as much flavor as the injected turkey does. Injecting, to me, makes the turkey moist and flavorful and is easier and less time consuming. So while it was a noble experiment, dry brining falls into the "not worth it" category for me. I also made Sunset magazines sourdough artichoke Parmesan stuffing and it was delicious. I won't make it for Thanksgiving (as this could get me killed by my Uncle) but I'd definitely make it for us again. And there is enough left over to make "Bobbies" this week. (Those unfamiliar with the "Bobbie" at Capriotti's sandwich shop, it's turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce on a sub roll and it's delicious!)

I ordered my first iPod. (yes, I have fallen into Apple's clutches, now that I love my Mac I'm trading my Zen for an iPod) it's the iPod Touch and it's supposed to arrive by tomorrow. I've been following it's progress and it's gone from Kunshan, China to Shanghai, China to Anchorage, Alaska to Indianapolis, Indiana so far. My iPod will have seen more of the world than I have. I know it's a luxury, not a necessity, but I decided to put my comedy money towards something I wanted instead of something I needed. I can't wait to play with it!

Okay, that's my world. Hope all is good in yours, Loyal Readers!

I Must Be Crazy

Okay, I know I'm insane, but with encouragement from my fellow writers, Maura and Dyann, I signed up for NaNoWriMo (short for National Novel Writing Month.) The goal is to write a 50,000 word novel in thirty days. That's 1,667 words a day. In November. When shooting of Vegas Schmegas will take up no less than six full days just for photography, Thanksgiving will take up at least two days and my nervous breakdown will take at least a week. What was I thinking?

Actually, what I was thinking is that something needs to kick my writing in the butt and maybe this is it. I have been so focused on taking care of The Graminator and day to day life concerns that my writing has suffered and if I want my sabbatical to be a success then I need to actually put the car in drive and go for it. I love my family but I gotta do something.

The only problem with NaNoWriMo is that I already feel behind and I haven't even started yet. We start shooting on November 1st and that's the day NaNoWriMo starts. I guess I'll take a notebook on set with me and try to write between shots. I'm not only producing this weekend but also 1st A.D. and acting (but I'm playing a dealer and I only have one line). Let's just say it's going to be a hectic weekend.

Any and all support is welcome. And donations of Prozac and Valium are greatly appreciated.

Why I Love America

There are lots of reasons I love America. But today it's because this is a country about hope and damn-it-all determination.

You all know that I am trying to lose a few pounds before my brother's wedding. (And the dreaded dominatrix costume for Vegas Schmegas.) I have lost six pounds in the last two weeks through a novel diet I developed called 'eat less and exercise more' (a radical new diet, books will fly off of store shelves). Some days are better than others (Hebrew National 97% Fat Free Hot Dogs taste like HOT DOGS and have only 45 calories per dog and are made from MEAT!) and it's about putting myself into the mindset of eating healthy and indulging occasionally instead of indulging constantly and eating healthy occasionally. (And major Kudos to Maura, who is following her own sensible eating an exercise regimen, you go girl!)

So this morning I read a story about a shortage of bananas in Japan because young girls are obsessed with the Morning Banana diet. Apparently young Japanese women are diet crazy (yeah, because of all of those fat Japanese people, sure) and will follow any fad. The latest is this Morning Banana Diet, where you have a banana and room temperature water for breakfast, anything you want for lunch and dinner, no desserts and go to bed by midnight. (Because if you feed them after midnight they turn into Gremlins) People are going so crazy for this diet that Japan can't get any more bananas. (I'm imagining a black market for bananas, guys in back alleys selling bananas for big money to desperate teenage Japanese girls.) Silly diet and silly girls. Of course, I live in a country that invented the grapefruit diet, so who am I to talk?

Then I saw a story that warmed the cockles of my heart (to paraphrase Denis Leary, more like the sub-cockle region really.) It was about a man, an AMERICAN, who ate a 15 POUND hamburger (cheeseburger, to be exact.) Nicknamed the 'Beer Barrel Belly Bruiser' the thing, with bun and toppings it weighed more than twenty pounds. Now there is a man I could love. Because he didn't do it for fame or fortune (he got $400 and three t-shirts from the bar that made the burger) but because he "wanted to see if I could". Bravo, that's the American spirit. Having been dreaming of cheeseburgers for the past week, I envy this man, although the picture looks like the burger had provolone cheese whereas my choice would have been cheddar and it had mild hot peppers while I'm a pickle girl. Still, with a cup each of mayo, mustard and ketchup, this man ate enough calories for a small third world country, just to see if he could. (I imagine he was promptly stomped to death by a herd of angry cattle as he left the bar.) Still, I admire Brad Scuillo of Uniontown, PA for his grit, determination and complete lack of care for his cardiovascular system. It's because of Americans like Brad that we will not only persevere through this economic crisis, but will once again thumb our noses at the rest of the world because we are indeed the greatest country on the planet and if a twenty pound cheeseburger doesn't prove that, I don't know what will.

Making a Real Effort

Okay, so I have been lazy. Oh, I know that I have a lot going on and it's very easy to use that as an excuse for not getting things done but the fact of the matter is that if I organized myself a little better I could accomplish more.

Val asked me yesterday to be her Maid of Honor. That means I need to fit into a dress and not embarrass myself or my brother and his new wife in their wedding pictures. For any one who doesn't know my 'fat assed saga', I have always been 'fluffy" (doesn't that sound cuter than fat? Like I'm filled with creamy nougat or something..) A few years ago I started working out and eating healthy and I lost 55 pounds. Then I stopped exercising and started eating crap again and gained back 54. But I know it's not healthy for me to to be sedentary (my eating habits are now actually quite good, since I have to cook for more than just myself and I've stopped eating fast food again.) I'd like to lose 30 pounds by the wedding (which is in seven months so that's totally do-able). So I got out my in-home walking DVDs and I'll start walking two miles a day again and trying to work out on the Wii Fit for twenty minutes three or four times a week. That should boost my metabolism and if I cut out eating dessert (except on Sundays when the constant cupcake testing occurs) I should be able to drop the weight I want and get into better shape. I'm also playing a dominatrix in a skimpy outfit in a month for Vegas Schmegas so losing a few pounds before then won't kill me.

I've also been slacking on my writing but that's going to change too. Yes, The Graminator needs constant supervision but there are four computers in this house, two of which are laptops so there really isn't any excuse. Yes, I like working on my Mac the best but sometimes you just have to suck it up. Dyann and Maura have both finished their novels and if I want to do the same I really have to put the work in. It will only benefit me in the long run. (CONGRATULATIONS DYANN!!!!!!!) I'd like to finish it this month but with pre-production really gearing up for the VS shoot, I'm going to cut myself some slack and say by the end of November. If I finish early, great. But that's my 'deadline'. I have other stories that need to be told and I can't write them until this one is out of me. So I gotta just do it.

I have about a zillion other projects that I need to start or finish or both. No more excuses, no more delays. The rest of my life starts today and I've got to make it a good one. When I finish my life story, I want to know that I did everything I could, not just sat around and daydreamed it!

Prepping the Pilot

We are gearing up for full production mode for the "Vegas Schmegas" pilot that we start filming on November 1st. We have the final table read this Saturday. Some of the biggest production tasks are taken care of, like the motel we are shooting exteriors at (thanks Irwin!) and the insurance bonds we need (thanks ProWerks!). We still have a few more to nail down, like renting a poker table and renting a convertible (anyone out there have a white or black convertible they want to loan for two scenes?) I also have to get myself a dominatrix outfit. Yes, I know, it won't be pretty but that's kind of the joke. I have been web surfing to find something that I won't die of embarrassment wearing but a lot of things are expensive and even if I weren't poor (which I am) I don't want to pay a bunch of money for some leather fetish outfit that I will never wear again...unless I decide to make some money on the side. JUST KIDDING!!! (Anyone got a riding crop and leather dog collar they want to loan me?)

I'm looking forward to working on this. It will be filmed like a feature film. We have actual crew members instead of us all doing everything. I found a lovely young woman to be our script supervisor from the woman who taught me how to do the job (thanks Penny!). We still need someone to assist with hair and makeup (anyone want to be the next Max Factor?) and we are still looking for extras for a scene in the park on November 7th. If anyone is interested in being in a scene or just wants to check out filming, let me know.

I had to write a press synopsis of the show as we looked for potential investors and here is the press clip.
"WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS WILL NO LONGER STAY IN VEGAS!
The VDE team announced early Monday that they are now in pre-production on a new comedy sitcom pilot. The project, tentatively titled VEGAS SCHMEGAS, is a recurring character sketch comedy show along the lines of the international hit Little Britain. From the award winning filmmakers at Vision Dynamics Entertainment and shot in state-of-the-art high definition, VEGAS SCHMEGAS is perfect for standard television, cable and even Internet broadcast. VEGAS SCHMEGAS's colorful characters will be instantly recognizable to anyone familiar with the legend and lore that is Las Vegas."

There is actually a longer synopsis that goes into detail about some of the characters, etc. but I'll save that for closer to the release date. With everything going on with The Graminator I have felt less than creative so it will be good to get back into things. I am going to have to find a sitter for some of the filming days but my friend Kelley at ATM&S gave me a lead on someone so I'm going to call her, or if that doesn't work, check into a respite care provider.

In other stuff, I had a great birthday and I want to thank everyone who sent birthday wishes. It was nice not to be forgotten! I know I'm getting older because I asked for (and got) face cream and new pillows for my birthday. I haven't been sleeping well for the past few weeks but it's better with the new pillows and the face cream helps me look like I got a better night's sleep!

Lavender, the garden cat, is now Lavender, the home and garden cat. She comes into the house every morning and spends most of the day sleeping under The Graminator's bed. She also likes to jump on the couch and have me pet her. Which makes my dog jealous so I have to pet her too. So I have a dog on one side and a cat on the other. My allergies haven't bothered me too badly but I brush Lavender every other day and we try to vacuum a lot too. She still sleeps outside but I'm sure that will change when it gets cooler. My mom bought the cat an eighteen pound bag of food so I guess we have decided to keep her. Mom says we are still looking for a home for her though, so if anyone wants a very loving and friendly full grown cat, let me know.

I'll comment on the bizarre twist of John McCain suspending his campaign when I figure out why he did it. There is something going on that I can't quite understand and I don't like it, it makes me feel uneasy. As uneasy as a $700 billion dollar bailout but that's inevitable. This campaign strategy though is really weird on McCain's part.

And finally, Ted McGinley got kicked off "dancing with the Stars" last night. I thought it would be Susan Lucci or Kim Kardashian but I guess they have more fans. It's a shame, he was a better dancer who worked really hard. But I guess there aren't as many fans of "Married with Children" or "The Love Boat" anymore. And I was sure America wouldn't vote off Cloris this week, which is very nice, but she needs to go next week people. It's painful to watch her 'pseudo-dancing'. Tonight is the premieres of "Survivor: Gabon" and "My Name is Earl" and "The Office" - bring on the entertainment!