For seven years I worked at the same job. I did my job (pretty well I think considering the evaluations I got) and made what I thought were a lot of lasting relationships. Then I left, not to go work for another company but to pursue my dreams, and I thought my "friends" would be supportive.
Now I understand how easy it is to have your life move on and forget the people you once had daily contact with. But I guess I thought I meant something more. Maybe we all want to feel that we are somehow important in this world and while I knew that life for everyone would go on without me, you still wish people would miss you, even if it's just a teeny tiny bit.
I have always been loyal to my friends. My blog and my life are a pretty open book. I don't write things anonymously and I have never revealed any of the secrets that I was privy to. That's who I am. There are others who write things under pseudonyms and tell tales out of school and I'll admit that while it's pretty entertaining it's not something I could ever do.
So it hurts me that my emails go unanswered and that my 'friend requests' are denied, mostly because I just don't understand. I always internalize and wonder what it is that I did. Of course it is a very small minority of people that I am talking about here but it wounds me none the less. To the best of my knowledge I have done nothing to these people so it leaves me in that odd limbo of hurt feelings and wild supposition.
But I am now another year older (yes, Loyal Readers, another birthday has passed, and the custard was delicious) and supposedly a bit wiser (although I'm not sure exactly when all that wisdom is scheduled to show up) and so, after this emo post, I shall let it go. I cannot control the actions of others (although my evil twin is currently conducting experiments to do exactly that) and I can only control my own (but just barely.)
And now my time for wallowing is done (I had a friend who only allowed 15 minutes of wallow time, which I follow and it saves me a ton of money on anti-depressants) and I must go decorate 150 lobster cookies for a wedding in Newport, RI. I am trying to make the world a sweeter place, one cookie at a time. I will post pictures soon of all the work I have done recently!
6 comments:
Who write things under pseudonyms and tell tales out of school?
This will make a lovely award acceptance speech!
Facebook friendships aren't real.
Nor are work friendships.
Isn't that the risk you take when you join a social network?
Chan-
My awards speech will be more like "To all the people who thought I could never do this, suck it!" Although I may open with "I'd like to thank the Academy..."
Anonymous-
Why would I tell someone who doesn't post under their real name what pseudonym blogs I'm referring to? And if you think most work friendships aren't real, I feel very sorry for you. Work colleagues are like family, you don't get to choose them but you spend an awful lot of time in the trenches with them and that forges some strong bonds. Perhaps transient bonds, but bonds none the less.
Apparently this blog post struck a nerve, this is more anonymous comments than any other!
It's always hurtful when someone disses you like that. And it happens to just about everyone. I've had a few people I thought I was closer to not answer emails or return phone calls. Maybe they are just too busy and don't mean anything by it, but it's still hurtful nonetheless. But I figure I have done the right thing by reaching out and if it is not returned, then c'est la vie. I know I haven't done anything to warrant such behavior, and I'm sure you haven't either, so it's not worth worrying about. If they ever want to get in touch, they know where to find you. You've done your part.
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