So we got The Graminator to Henderson (It's 50 miles from my house, round trip) and she was okay but she got confused when we were leaving (not unusual since it was a long day for her) but she was eating well and I'm still hoping we can get her transferred to the closer facility. Then early this morning she tried to get out of bed by herself and fell again. They said there was no further injury so I'm hoping that is the case. I think we all thought that the pain would keep her from trying something like that but apparently the pain medication is working a little too well. Honestly, I don't know what we are going to do. I'm so exhausted, mentally even more than physically. I'm worried about my grandma, my mom, getting grandma moved, working on fixing her room for when she gets home, figuring out how we are going to care for her. My mom is worrying me the most, she has a tendency to keep every feeling tucked deep inside her and I'm afraid that she'll end up ill as well. I can't tell what she's thinking except that I can read the stress coming off of her like a volcano that needs to blow but can't. I'm so afraid she'll implode from the pressure. I just want to sit down and cry but I can't, so I'll go into my feeling avoidance mode and eat my way through it (except there is no ice cream in the house and I'm afraid to leave in case the hospital calls again), Aughhhhhhhhh!
We are heading out there as soon as my mom gets off work (I'd go now but driving 100 miles a day is just too much for me right now and it's important to get my mom out there, no matter what she says). More updates tomorrow.
1 comment:
I'm so sorry you are going through this difficult time. Don't you keep your feelings bottled up, too, though. That won't do you any good. If you need a good cry, you go ahead and have one. Nobody needs to know about it but you.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that The Graminator will be transferred to a closer facility soon. That should help alleviate some of your Mom's stress.
I wish I had something less lame to say than to keep on hanging in there. But please know that it is kindly meant. I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
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