The Doctor is (Not) In

Paging Dr. Shae, Paging Dr. Shae...that's something you'll never hear, and that's a good thing.

I have been experiencing some pain in the muscle in my left arm and through exhaustive research (several minutes on WebMD) I diagnosed myself with tendinitis. I like to sleep on my side with my arms twisted at awkward angles (which usually results in an arm going numb.) That, combined with the daily heavy Graminator lifting, made the tendons in my arm sore. Now the treatment is fairly simple, rest it (stop sleeping that way, stupid), ice (which is cold and it's winter so that was so unappealing), compression and elevation (yup, the standard RICE therapy) along with ibuprofen. Since I didn't like the R-I-E portion, Dr. Shae decided to go just with compression.

So I toddle off to the drug store and buy several things designed to constrain my arm muscles. I wore one all day and it was fine. Then for night I put on this elaborate one, with gel pads for the 'pain' points and stuff. I put it on and compress it did. It was snug and held my arm in such a way that I couldn't sleep with it under my head, unless I suddenly grew the powers of a Chinese contortionist. Good, right? Then after a while it started to feel too tight. But compression is good, right, I mean, it's supposed to be tight. Then I started to lose sensation in my fingers and decided to take it off. I don't know if I had the gel pads in the wrong spots or I had just strapped it too tight or if it was the wrong bandage all together but when I took it off my arm hurt worse than ever. Like it felt bruised and battered. So I got the normal Ace bandage I had been using and wrapped my arm and went to bed.

I woke up yesterday and noticed that my arm was hurting and felt funny. I went to the bathroom and when I turned the light on I looked down at my arm to see it had swollen to ENORMOUS proportions. ACK!!! I quickly took some Motrin and grabbed an ice pack and elevated my arm to see if the swelling would come down. It did, after a few hours and I could see the knuckles in my hand again. It was sore and painful but the weird part is that the original pain is gone, this is a new pain in a different part of my arm. (Yes, it's the old joke of my arm hurts so kick me in the shin to feel better.) I spent the day resting it and icing it (I still had to lift The Graminator, but I did it as gingerly as possible). And last night I slept with it elevated and not contorted underneath me. Today it's still sore, but better and no gigantic swelling.

The moral of my story? Do not assume that you went to medical school just because you can read it on the Internet. There is a reason that doctors go to school for seven years before they start to practice. If all it took was the ability to read the Internet then any twelve year old with a MacBook would be a doctor. Does this mean that I went to a real doctor? Heck no. But I would have if the swelling hadn't come down. That's all I'm saying, seek appropriate medical attention. Now I gotta go take two Motrin and call myself in the morning.