DMV

Okay, I had to go to the DMV this morning since my car registration is due in a few days and my drivers license was set to expire on my birthday next month. So I decided to get all the yucky stuff over at once.

So why does Las Vegas, with a population of over two million people, only have three DMV locations? There was one not too far from my house and they closed it to open a new one about ten miles further away. Why not have BOTH locations? Seriously, why not? Yes, I know, I could have renewed my car via the Internet but after last year's debacle (I had a valid, legal registration but the sticker hadn't come in the mail yet and I got a ticket for it PARKED IN FRONT OF MY OWN HOUSE!!!! It cost me twenty-five bucks. Augh! Since I needed to do an address change (yes, I moved a year ago, oops) and I had already renewed my license by mail four years ago so I had to go in in person this time. Not only was the new DMV location further away, but the MapQuest directions were wrong. But I found it, finally.

Why are drivers license pictures so awful? They are digital pictures so I think they should have to show them to you and you get at least one do-over. They charge you $2.25 for the 'digitized photo' (hmmm, they never charged extra for the 'real' photo before) so I think you should have a say in the matter. I had a relatively cute picture on my last license (hence why I renewed by mail last time) and this time I look like a mentally challenged homeless person. I'm not joking. I'm usually okay photogenically but every now and then I take a picture that totally makes me look like a short bus rider. In this picture I look like I may have Down Syndrome. I'm not making any judgments, I'm just saying that those with Down Syndrome have distinctive features and I look like I may have that particular chromosomal anomaly on my license photograph.

The new DMV is huge but still very industrial. Most government buildings are nice, some are really nice, but DVM offices often feel more like correctional facilities. Why, if you are going to order a bunch of new chairs for a building where people are going to wait, sometimes for hours, do you choose the ugliest, most uncomfortable chairs ever? Is there some government employee who personally tests the chairs to make sure they aren't the slightest bit comfortable? Does that guy get fired if someone actually can sit in a DMV chair for more than two minutes without needing a chiropractic adjustment? It's amazing to me that they can find chairs that no one can feel good sitting in, whether they are tall, short, skinny, fat, whatever, everyone is uncomfortable. Yes, I can definitely see how keeping people waiting a really long time in very uncomfortable chairs for a task that no one wanted to do in the first place is a good strategy. The only thing that could make it worse would be some surly, unhelpful employees. Oh, wait, they covered that too.

To be fair, not every DMV employee is unpleasant. The man at the information desk was nice. The system in Las Vegas is that you have to wait in a really long line to get to the information counter where you explain to the employee why you are there, then he or she gives you a number and you go wait in an uncomfortable chair trying to decipher if G060 comes before or after L089 (because the normal letter/number order does not seem to apply) and then you explain it to another employee all over again. The lady next to me at the information counter actually asked the counter man if he remembered her. Sure, out of the one or two thousand people per day he sees, he's gonna remember you. (Just a note, she looked like a normal, average person. If she had gigantic boobs or some glaringly hideous feature, maybe, just maybe, he might think you look vaguely familiar. But a regular Joe or Jane? Forget it.)

The best part of the DMV? When you drive away. knowing you won't have to go back for at least four years, maybe eight if I'm lucky. Of course, that's if no one steals my license plates again.