Okay, so writers get ideas all the time. I probably get three or four a week. But sometimes one idea sticks out more, or the characters keep talking in your head and they won't shut up and you have to get them out of your head before you can work on anything else. Just such an idea ganged up on me the other day and I have decided to put my other writing aside temporarily while I tell this story.
Everyone says it's important to catch a reader's attention right away, to make them want to read your book. This is especially true when you are sending books to editors and agents and Hollywood script readers since they see many submissions every day. You want them to like your book/movie from the first few pages so they will keep reading. (Many say from the first paragraph.)
Here is the first paragraph of my new novel. This is exactly how the story started in my head and I wanted to know more, so I kept exploring. Tell me, if from reading it, would you like to read more of the book? Be honest, I won't be offended.
"I don't lead an exciting life. I mean, I work at the mall, how exciting could it be? The only time my heart gets racing is when Mint Milanos are buy one, get one free. I am way more 'couch potato' than I am 'counter-espionage'. So how did I end up here, tied to a gorgeous (but unconscious) man, three feet away from a bomb with a counter that reads 00:05:23?"
Okay, critique away. Would you want to know more? Monday I'll have the 'back of the book' synopsis for you to rate as well. Mucho thanks in advance!
8 comments:
I LOVE MINT MILANOS
This is just absolutely amazing!!!! Pure genious. I must read more. Please for me and probably many others that read your blog post more> Sincerely Jon
SHAE-
I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION TO ALL OF US. YOU ARE LIVING YOUR DREAM AND I THINK THATS GREAT. PLEASE POST MORE. I THINK YOU HAVE POTENTIAL TO GET PAID FOR YOUR BLOGS. THEY GIVE INSIGHT INTO YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE.
SINCERELY,
HUE
Dear Shae, My names Megan and I'm from Pheonix. I'm not gonna lie and say I dont have time on my hand to read, because i really do. I just get so caught up with things I never pick up any books. Any recomendations. I need a good book that will get me back to reading more. Have you ever published a book? I was reading your blog and the passage you wrote was very entertaining. It really did leave me for more. Well good luck and thanks for the inspiration. *Megan*
Hi Shae,
This is definitely an attention grabber and I absolutely want to know what happens next as well as what happened to lead up to this point.
I would advise two small changes: First, be more specific about her job at the mall (i.e. "I mean, I work as a cashier at the mall food court, how exciting could that be?"). I think this would add a little more insight to the character. "I work at the mall" is too vague for me.
Second, tell us where "here" is (i.e. "So how did I end up here, in the back of an abandoned, dirty warehouse, tied to a gorgeous....). I think this would give the reader a better sense of where we are in the story and add a little more drama.
Hope this is helpful. Keep up the good work! I can't wait to read the back of the book synopsis!
Ok, so I may not be as prolific here as Huge Erection, but I like it.
Maura's comments are great and I totally think they would enhance what you have.
My first thoughts were of two novels I've read that have a similar premise (though I know nothing of where you are going with this :-)) The Mall, by Richie Tankersley Cusick and Night Pleasures, by Sherrilyn Kenyon. But, like I said before with my own ideas, I'm sure you can make this your own. You have the power and the gift :-)
It sounds exciting, intriguing and sexy already. Are you ready for it? :-)
Okay Dyann, I checked out the other books and the story in my head is nothing like those. Check out the "back of the book" synopsis when I post it. But man, are you ever the avid reader (and rememberer) of books. You go girl. And yes, I'm up for the steamy scenes (hmmm, I wonder what that means...)
OKAY, so I no joke check your blog every hour. Ok not really but I keep checking to see if you have a new blog up and well you need to post some new reading material. Seriously all joking aside that piece you wrote really left me amazed. It was great. Your an inspiration to me so freaking do me a favor and post some more on your book. It is a book right? I'm kind of confused if your writing a book or your thinking about it. Whatever the case may be, post some more. Lots o' Love - JON
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