Well, for better or worse, The Graminator is home.
After Monday's nightmare in the ER and a really confused day on Tuesday, we were told we could take her home on Wednesday. We got to the hospital a little before ten in the morning. We got home at nine thirty at night. Yes, another long hellish day.
The physical therapist and the occupational therapist came to evaluate her. After several days of pneumonia and complete bed rest, she was naturally quite weak. But she was alert most of the day, ate really well and (forgive the gross) had several BM's so I was pretty confident that she should come home. The physical therapist (a hippie type George Carlin wannabe) was adamant that she should go to rehabilitation for a week. I was so mad. Two and a half weeks in a rehabilitation facility and she was back in the hospital, worse than before. So I went to the doctor and laid out my argument that we could (with home health care) take care of her at home better than the rehab hospital could. Fortunately the doctor agreed that home is a better place for someone with Alzheimer's and told the therapist where to stick it. (Okay, he was nicer than that, but I was really glad the doctor backed me instead of the PT). So after that (and six more hours of waiting for discharge) we got her home.
It's not ideal, I'll give you that. I've never had children because diaper duty never appealed to me, but now I have to deal with the diapers of a full grown woman. Uck. I'm not sure how I'll get through it, but I will. She is weak and complaining a bit but I'm going to be Nurse Ratchet and make her do what she needs to do, not what she wants to do. The home health agency is going to come by this morning and evaluate what assistance we need. I'll get some supplies at the medical supply store. And we will do the best we can. I want to have a big breakdown but now is not the time. I feel like I'm the one making all the decisions and then everyone is unhappy with me for making them (anyone who knows my 'people-pleasing' complex will understand how incredibly difficult that situation is for me). Honestly, last night I felt like running away from home, but where would I go? With my current unemployed writer status my finances are too tight to run away.
So, I'll get through it. I left a lot of this stuff to my mom when my paternal grandmother was in this situation and now it's time for me to pay it back. I may start drinking more. A lot more. Anyone with an extra supply of Valium, call me.
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3 comments:
WOW!!!!! I wouldnt blame you if you started drinking. Whenever I think I have it tough I just read your blog and know it could be a lot worse. How do you do it? Well I hope she continues to get better and I hope someday you will get back to writing again for the rest of us patiently waiting. -JON
Hey, that's great news! I'm so glad she's home. I know it's going to be a lot of work for you but not having to deal with the whole hospital/rehab scene has got to be a load off your mind.
And stop beating yourself up! You are doing a great job. If others are not happy with your solutions then it is up to them to come up with a better one. Your family is lucky to have you! I understand about wanting to please everybody; I am often the same way. But sometimes you have to realize that the old adage is true: You can't please all the people all the time. And you will just make yourself nuts trying to, which won't help you or anyone around you. So do what you think is best and remain open to constructive suggestions from others and just ignore gripes and complaints.
I'm rooting for you, Shae. It's all going to work out in the long run!
Drinking works for me :-)
I think you are doing more than your part in all this and I commend you. I know you'll get through it and gain more than you'll lose. You're building character, Shae. Isn't that what writers strive to do?
Oh and I just had a huge beer.
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